Alright, this is a continuation of something I wrote about a different time but this time it's about how things have changed or developed from there. For what this conversation concerns, Erythema is an OC of mine who was originally intended to be just a rule 63 of SunBurn for RPs where being a female would be better. She was expected to have an identical personality to SunBurn but the opposite happened. I've been seeing her as an alter ego of myself where I've been trying to understand her better to try and better understand myself. It gets done by playing a scene in my head, letting it run loose and see how she behaves under the circumstances she is placed in.

So how have things developed or changed from there and what does it all mean? Back then, she seemed like this mysterious entity, seeming to appear only when something bad is about to unfold in the theater of my thoughts. What she seemed to embody was violence and hate, knowing nothing of peace, compassion or mercy. I still remember that hardened and cold gaze of hers before she kills an equine.

That was back then. What's happened since then? Ever since giving her a backstory, her personality just sorta emerged. She's from an island off of Equestria's shores with different clans fighting for territory and control so there's kind of a story already happening there. What's more, she was made into a character on her own as SunBurn's twin sister. Playing out different scenes revealed her to be a troubled spirit. Past her cold, barbed steel exterior is a person scared to live in the world she knows and hates. A world where respect is hard won but easily lost. A world where she must kill or be killed or worse still, see a loved one killed. She knows that she is a monster and hates herself just like all the other monsters she wants to see dead. Her first line of defense is to make equines scared of her. With a callous look on her face, donning a cloak and looking ungroomed, most ponies wouldn't want to get close to her. Even when some pony were to try and interact with her, she acts unfriendly by being very untrusting and skeptical. Her last line of defense are her daggers which she knows how to use well in combat.

Something else that's rather peculiar about her is her relationship with SunBurn and vise-versa. To her, SunBurn is the only family she has left and wants to protect him with her life. Come to think of it, he seems to be the only reason she hasn't completely broken down or lost her mind in this world of wretched politics, war and ruthless exploitation of the innocent -- things she are very conscious of. While fighting her enemies may temporarily take her mind off of these things, once she kills her opponents, it is a stark reminder of how she is part of the problem herself. She doesn't know of any other way but perhaps SunBurn does. That's why she believes that he needs to reach his full potential if there is to be any hope of a different life. One that is better than what she is so entrenched in.

What does it all mean? Well, I'm seeing some similarities between Erythema's character, her relationship with her brother and myself. I myself have grown callous but just not to the same extreme as Erythema was described. I too have been protecting my more vulnerable and hopeful self from the things that make our world a putrid place to live in. Things I'm all too aware of. In fact, I'm not sure how I would go on without hope that things will get better instead of worse. I see that glimmer, I think I can understand it and contribute to making it happen but I haven't really figured out how. All I know is that I must improve myself, reach my full potential or at least come near doing so before I can really get started. But perhaps I'm guarding myself too well, leaving myself dejected and closed up. That's not helpful either. Where do I go on from here? Maybe in continuing to do this, I might find answers that'll further help or so I can hope. There is another entity that emerged recently... a Changeling character who was tentatively named "Dark Erythema". Could she prove to be as much of an eye-opener as Erythema has been? Only time will tell.