For some, it would be a dream come true to be The Doctor. For me, it's my living nightmare...

We both have very similar lives, which consists of adventures, regeneration, and the gain and loss of companions.

The big difference is that unlike him I have no TARDIS, no aliens, or time travel. I'm just stuck here on Earth as a boring human. A human with no escape.

I've been making videos for many years, this is my version of adventure. I've always loved being on camera, editing, writing scripts, etc. I would talk about nothing but videos, do nothing but make and edit videos, and show everyone I knew what I made. After a while, I decided to bring my one friend into the action. He ended up being my very first "companion". We'd make videos and talk about them all the time. Eventually we started a YouTube channel and began posting our videos online. Everything was great, but then suddenly my friend had to move away. His parents were very strict, so I didn't really see him anymore. I felt hurt, it was like he abandoned me. After that I didn't feel I could return to the channel without him, so I ended it.

It was here that a pattern began to form. I would return to YouTube, make a channel, find a new companion, lose them, and stop the channel. Each YouTube channel I made had some different theme, personality, or type of video. These channels acted as my regenerations.

This has repeated up to now. I've lost a total of six companions over the course of about five or so different channels. I gained two new companions a little while ago, but I often worry that they'll leave. No matter how much they reassure me, I think back to how close I was with others and how they left. I can't help but expect that they're going to leave at some point. What worries me most about them leaving is that they're basically my last two friends. If they leave, I'm alone. I really don't have anyone else to talk to. If I did I'd probably be talking to them about this instead of writing it in a blog.

Sometimes I feel like I'm destined to be alone, like it's just how it needs to be. No more companions means no more rejection, right? Then I think back to The Doctor. This happens to him on an infinitely larger scale. While my companions just leave, his are killed or separated from him by force. He's gone through much worse than I have but he still presses on, having fun and continuously looking for a lasting companion.

Maybe I shouldn't distance myself from The Doctor. Maybe I should try to be more like him, learning to embrace a situation and move past it.

Time to look past the past and move towards the future...

Time to forget the bad and find an adventure...

Time to face the world and yell ALLONS-Y!