Fuck, I love 30th century music.

You 3015 millennials forget that we didn't always have genres like "literally getting shot in the ear with a handgun." There was a time when music was simply terrible, and didn't liquefy your spinal cord in 7.2 femtoseconds. Dare I say, there was even a time when it didn't cause painful, gory deaths at all. Why, I remember one crazy party where they played a piece as old as 2016, and I only vomited three pints of blood! Those were the days.

Here's The Inevitable Bottom of the Barrel, by David Guetta('s head in a jar). Just try not to listen to more than 45 seconds of it, unless the feeling of your lungs running through your digestive system turns you on or something. I don't judge.