Wow this couldn't have come at a better time. I'm feeling the exact way and I'm actually thinking about getting some help. I feel like when I'm trying to do good it always seems to backfire. I keep trying to get a job and there are some people who claim I'm not trying hard enough all the things. all the things I have my mother truly brought for me and I just started college but I'm upset because they keep forcing me to learn things that don't really have anything to do with my dream job.

You need to know that you are not alone and that I'm sure many people on the forums will be able to cheer you up a little. As much as you don't want to go to school sadly in our current times it's nearly impossible to get a job without a decent education so hang in there. If you really feel down some days feel free to PM mean and I'll try to help you the best I can.

I'm not currently experiencing the exactly what you're feeling, but I get what you mean. People may say to just brighten up, but it's not that easy. I've thought of things like that, and just basically gave up on life. I had suicidal thoughts, and at one point I was actually writing the suicide note.

Of course now I know that I wouldn't be gaining anything from suicide. Suicide is just a waste. It's not worth it, and you won't gain anything from it. I saw you mention you're having suicidal thoughts in one of your posts. You may think it's a good alternative, as you won't have to deal with everything bad in your life. But at the same time, you won't be dealing with everything that's good about life. There's ups, and down in life. It will always be like that. Some downs can be huge, and cause a depression. Or one may even suicide if it's too much.

Suicide will not solve your problems. Well, actually it will, but the wrong way. Think of it this way: You will not always be like this. You're probably concerned about your future, which alot of people are. You create your future, by what you do in the present.

Now trying to do everything in the present to have your better future, can be hard. I've heard life right after school can sometimes be too much for some people.

I don't really know much I can say to make this easier. Having someone to help you, and talk to I believe would help. Someone to vent problems to, and maybe even offer advice. To keep you looking forward, and to keep you from being un-happy. Don't be afraid to talk to me about any of this. I'm sure it'll be hard to talk to some random guy on the forums about some possibly personal stuff, but I can't think of anything else to think of to help you. I'll be understanding, and try to offer the best advice.

At least this is what I think would be best. I hope I wrote this out right, and that this helped in any way.

I don't really know much I can say to make this easier. Having someone to help you, and talk to I believe would help. Someone to vent problems to, and maybe even offer advice. To keep you looking forward, and to keep you from being un-happy.

Actually I do have a few friends I do talk to on occasion about these things. Some are even fellow forum members.

I have one special friend in particular who I deem as my best friend, though sometimes she can complicate problems because I'm madly in love with her (but she's taken, hence the heartbreak part). But recently I've been able to talk with her with full honesty, even told her I was bi which is something I haven't told ANYONE outside of the Internet.

Though even these friends might not be a total solution to my problems. I've been thinking about seeing a doctor about my depression issues. I've heard that professional help is very important for people dealing with problems like I have, though I do have to admit that I'm terrified of professional help for some odd reason.