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Chapter Preview: Always My Best Friends


Stardust Balance

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To Whomever Finds This Letter.

By the time you've discovered this, I would be long gone by now. So far even Discord himself wouldn't be likely to find me with his infinite tap of magic.

...Probably.

Anyway... Well, not even sure where to begin. I made the choice a few days ago, this is true, but envisioning writing this farewell note is less difficult than writing it out in reality. A part of me is tearing itself on the inside even doing this, just as my heart ached from the likely prospect of never seeing you all again after sneaking away from the picnic, once you've all fallen asleep after that wonderful moment together. Which might as well be the last for a very, very long time.

Oh come now, like this wasn't totally expected. You girls know me by now. You know I would sacrifice my body and soul for the sake of keeping everyone I love safe, even if I was breaking a massive promise here to a certain alicorn Princess of Friendship, whom is growing no doubt more upset and furious with every word being read.

Ha... I'll miss that.

But you have to know something, all of you. Something I've been keeping mostly to myself and sharing with few, confirmed from the muzzle of Starswirl himself since my days on the Canterlot throne, and a suspicion long confirmed since I wounded up in hospital a short while back. A truth so horrendous and heart-wrenching I knew it would incite you all to keep me as safe as possible, but in reality causing little change.

I'm dying, girls... Spike. The spell which reverted me back to human has no reversal remedy out there, as told by the old prune above. Everyday my life as full human again slowly kills me, literally. If you're that upset, wondering why I kept this from you all for so long, just imagine my own thoughts on the matter: How could I possibly spill the beans to you ponies, pure of heart and soul? So innocent and trusting, open without a shred of sin. Six childlike equines who know nothing but peace and content in their lives; of which I have tirelessly challenged time and time again, bringing my own burdens unto you all.

Without intent, but the point still stands.

So now you know why I'm doing this, making this decision. If you don't, then consider it this way. Zagreus will not stop until I'm dead at this hoofs... Why not give him what he wants, but take the [BEEP]tard down with me? A blaze of glory; a dignifying demise at least... If you still don't understand, then that's completely fine. Suffice to say, I've long come to terms with the thought of dying... But I was to choose between suddenly keeling over from a heart attack one day and dying on the spot, or dying battling that maniac of my own creation to the very end.

Well... You know exactly what I would pick.

The monster will be eventually aware of my running away, and take immediate advantage of it. It's me he wants; so long as I'm away, you'll all be left alone. I'm the sole obstacle to his insane plans for universal cleansing, and I will continue being that thorn until my dying breath. Call this selfish. Arrogant. Maddening if you would; but I'd do this again, a million times more if it meant keeping you all safe.

Right now, as I pack, I realize there's not enough room to be said. Written on this letter. Too many things I've wanted to say. I never desired taking this path, but some things are beyond our control, even I acknowledge that. Being said, I will do my best to articulate my summarized feelings towards the wonderful, amazing, talented and beautiful Equestrians I've come to know and love indefinitely.

Spike.

You were... Are my son, and I'll always be proud to call you as such. You were the first to believe in me, the first whom never judged me for who or what I was, and accepted me as family long before I accepted myself. You've been a bright light in my hardened mind long ago, and I will always cherish you... Keep your mother safe for me, okay son?

...God I sounded too much like Goku there. Anyway:

Starlight.

It's amazing how close we've gotten so quickly. In the short time we've known each other, you've become a sister to me, I have no fear in saying that. In many ways, I see my past self in you... Hell, some small traits of that remain. You are brilliant, confident, passionate and wise; the most worthy student of Twilight's no matter who comes after you. I only hope the best for you in the future... You and Sunburst.

Fluttershy.

In the past, I admit, you were my second favourite among the original six a long time ago prior to accepting you all as friends, only below Twilight. Your kindness, warmth and acceptance kept my imbalanced state steady, always being a source for comfort and advice when needed. May Discord know eventually how lucky he truly is... Oh, and give your brother a good kick in the plot for your old friend, would you? A sort of final request. Cheers my dear.

Rarity.

...Honestly, I don't know what else to say but thanks for the capes, fedora and hairstyles. I know I've often expressed exasperation by your well-meaning but firm intentions, but truthfully I've secretly always enjoyed spending time with you this way. Even if you did drive me around the bend from your obsession with keeping my hair 'perfect' to your eyes. You are Equestria's greatest fashionista, Rarity, and I wish you the very best with that passion in the future. I know you'll outshine them all.

Applejack.

Thank you. Just... Thank you. You understand what I mean.

It's a shame, I'll miss Granny Smith's apple pies.

Pinkie Pie.

Hmm... Now what to say here...? Oh, I got it! Long ago, I found you nothing but loud and obnoxious, slowly coming to terms with finding your erratic behaviour endearing, even if faintly irritating at times still. But you eman well, always looking for some means of keeping everypony happy, including complete strangers. You have a gift for making others laugh and keeping their lives fulfilled, and I see great things for you and so many more with that power. Don't stop throwing parties and spreading joy, because who else would you be without those?

That depressed version of you so many bronies are obsessed with for some reason? I don't think so.

Damn, running out of paper. Gotta move this along, sorry guys.

Rainbow Dash.

Ha... The last of you that took me forever to get along with. I always possessed a low tolerance for people who think too highly of themselves; ponies no exception. It took a long time to even tolerate you, I won't lie... But I'm glad we got somewhere, in the end. You're passionate, loyal and devoted to your way of life, barely much bringing you down. The Wonderbolts will have a glorious future with Equestria's greatest flyer joining their ranks and someday leading them. I'd wish you the best...

But if I believed you needed it.

Bon. Lyra. Derpy. Whooves. Shining. Sombra. Octavia. Vinyl. Cadence. Luna. Zecora... Sunset. Friends and companions whom I've known; forgive me, and I wish you all the best of futures.

Now, saving the best for last.

Twilight Sparkle.

My love, my reason to be, my soulmate... Yeah I know none of that's gonna calm you down enough reading all this. You probably want to smack me above the head with the hardest book available to me right now. Ha, I'd expect nothing less! I'd do the exact same thing. But I know you, Twilight, no doubt this would all incite you to begin an immediate search for your stubborn boyfriend and return him home.

Don't.

Don't ever come looking for me.

That's my next request. That said, this letter alone wouldn't be enough to express how much I've enjoyed and etched every moment together in my heart. Remember when Fluttershy knocked you into me out of fascination for Spike, the first day we met? You probably thought nothing of me... But even back then, I thought the world of you. Even at first glance, I was mesmerized by your flawless beauty and equally perfect voice... It benefits to be voiced by a memorable actress, but that's beside the point.

I love you, Twilight Sparkle, most of all from everyone here. Yeah yeah, I know. Favourtism. Sue me, I'm not perfect and that's precisely why you love me, isn't it? But it's out of that love that I'm doing this; even if it kills me, this time emotionally...

You encouraged me, gave me hope, always being there to put me back together after shattering into a million pieces. Not a single second went by on my brief return back on my world that I didn't think of you, every minute of every day.

You can imagine how Sombra felt about that.

And remember, my dear Twilight... This wasn't on you. I know you still blame yourself for my condition, and probably grow paranoid by my decision here. But keep this firm words of your boyfriend in mind: It. Was. Not. Your. Fault. And our friends will attest to that sentiment. This is my choice. My path.

My... Destiny.

I love you... Nothing more needs to be said.

I never deserved you, despite your constant protests to that. I never deserved any of you... But I will forever keep you all in mind and heart, everyday as I walk down this road to Zagreus, exploring all of Equestria, and beyond, if I had to. The imbalance must end... On both our counts. My final request, from I to all of you:

Stay happy. Always be there for each other. Never give up. Never give in.

Because this isn't goodbye forever... It's goodbye until next time.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10959457/1/A-Journey-Beyond-Sanity

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/243194/a-journey-beyond-sanity

  • Brohoof 1

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