I think I’m funny, just humor me with the title.

 I’m pretty private, but I’m all about technology, especially med tech, so I decided to share this because it’s cool. Plus most people on the forums won’t encounter one unless it’s attached to an older relative.

 I have a heart issue. I’m fine, it’s related to something else I’ve got, but I’ve got an enlarged aorta, and my blood tends to pool in my legs when I stand, causing serious dizziness and lightheadedness. So to make sure it’s not something more serious my ass was sent home with a heart monitor. 

This is the entire setup, minus some cords. Also, the dog spit isn’t strictly necessary. I have two monitors that last about 12 hours each, I was told that I can’t go more than 30ft away from the phone, meaning it’s connected via Bluetooth. If I’m disconnected from the meter too long, they call me first, then they call an ambulance to my immediate location, which is a little frightening, but I get most people who have these aren’t in their 30s. Anyway so far it’s comfortable enough. It sucks to drive with it on because it sits directly where my seatbelt goes. Sleeping may be a different story. Also, having two cell phones is causing a disturbance in the force, as I need to wear pants in my own house, to keep the second phone attached to me. It’s not okay.