Greetings all, Renegade here. I was looking around for the next topic in Discordianism to discuss, when my friend and fellow pope @Randimaxis pointed me to a parable from the Principia, page 0005, entitled "A Zen Story". Unfamiliar with this particular bit of the Unholely Book, I skimmed over it, then read it carefully. I realized this would be a perfect object lesson in Objective and Subjective truths, and so now here we are.

Now, for your reading displeasure, "A Zen Story", by one Camden Benares, the Count of Five and Headmaster of the Camp Meeker Cabal.

Quote

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.

One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate."

He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him.

His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead."

Hearing this, the man was enlightened.

Have you finished reading? Yes? Good. Now what can we take away from this parable? The answer is both complicated and simple. The complicated answer is that there is no "right" answer - Zen parables are open to interpretation, after all, and this one is no exception. On one hand, the Zen Master could be trying to show this young man that peoples' opinions don't exactly matter; after all. what are wordly opinions compared to seeing the word truly as it is and finding enlightenment. On the other hand, the "Zen Master" could've just been a Discordian pulling a fast one on a greyface for shits and giggles (or gits and shiggles, either one works). But the answer, at least to me, is both at the same time. By trying (and succeeding) at elaborately baiting and switching the greyfaced young man for his own amusement, the Discordian "Zen Master" ultimately accomplishes a larger goal: to get the young man to see that nothing is serious and that everything is humorous in one form or another. Thus, the young man goes from a greyface confused by an illogical and disorderly world to someone who sees the world as it truly is - taking itself too seriously as he had, whilst also being chaotic and free-spirited underneath that "serious" facade.

Ultimately, the Parable of the Monk is a lesson in objective truth, subjective truth, and ultimately Truth with a capital T.

• Objective truth: defined as what can be seen as fact and nothing else. The young man is serious, and views things from an objective point of view. This objective view sees him take the monk's words at face value in hopes of trying to make sense of a nonsensical country.
• Subjective truth, defined as what others see as the truth. The young man recieves various answers from other people on how best he can ease his troubled mind, the monk believes meditation is the answer, the young man's worries as to what others will think of him, and the two onlookers' conclusion that he is both a holy man and a shithead.
• Truth, defined by Discordianism as neither objective or subjective, but Truth as is. The young man finally reaches enlightenment by the observation that he is both a holy man for meditating as long as he has, and a shithead for falling into the monk's prank as easily as he had. And so, he begins his journey anew, free from his worries and wiser in the long run.

I have said all I have wanted or needed to say, hence this entry's rather short length compared to the last. I bid you farewell.