*sigh* 

Sometimes, nostalgia hits when you least expect it... and makes you wonder 'what if?'  The first MAJOR roleplay I ever got into on this site was so bright... but now, it sits in the archives, lost and faded.  I happened across a post that reminded me of it, and I had to look it up.  But let's start at the beginning...

When I first started on this site, I was all sorts of gung-ho about trying to join a roleplay.  I kept checking out other RPs, asking folks on OOC threads, and generally being a total n00b when it came to getting into something.  Still, I searched around for a good, long while until I found one that would let me in - and it hadn't even gotten started yet!  So I took a good look at what the storyline was to be about:

Sombra hadn't been defeated when the Crystal Empire reappeared; he won.  And afer the public execution of Cadence and Shining Armor, the bastard started to slowly take over city afer city - and what he couldn't have, he destroyed outright.  Little by little, the faith and hope that ponykind held began to dwindle from a sun's worth... all the way down to a single light in the darkness.  Though there were small pockets of refugees, the whole of the Equestrian nation lie inside a shadow...

Sombra's Shadow

Our game picked up a number of years later, where we portrayed sneaky refugee ponies who had a beacon of hope for the world.  As the story progressed, we discovered that the Elements of Harmony still existed... and they needed new bearers to wield them.  The first element reborn, as it turned out, was Generosity... and it found a new bearer in my own character.

Harcourt Blackwater's entire family had been dealing with the villains behind the scenes... but were put down by a rival family, the Darkmanes, to improve their own standing on Sombra's power queue.  Harcourt, who had been travelling abroad for a number of years, came home to find his whole family slaughtered.  With only a single piece of evidence, he knew whom had been responsible... but he was unable to avenge their deaths.  By the time the story started, he was going grey, and was towards the end of his forties.  He was a master thief, and was in the process of teaching his favorite student how to do as he did.

The story was EPIC, and we spent many hours putting together quite a lovely tapestry of intrigue, action, horror and the occasional tearjerker moment.  It was so good, I even made banners and such to go along with it, and made special ones for each player.  I had my own little possibilities in mind, and made what I feel to STILL be some of my best posts there.  It was glorious.  It was marvelous.

It wouldn't ever be finished.

A disagreement between the two co-GMs led to a falling out, and our villain-player dropped out of it.  That started a slow chain reaction of others who fell aside, and soon left only three of us... and, when no replies came from the GM anymore, I knew I had to face the truth... that Sombra's Shadow, one of the best times I ever had doing online RP, was over.

For about a year afterwards, I had trouble trying to get my head into any other RP; eventually, I managed to move on, and did my utmost best to try to just let go of it.  I got into other roleplays, and with my experiences with the one game, it led me to spread that experience throughout ALL my latter RPs, including ones I ran.  I was reignited, and I then strode forward into the RP world with knowledge that I had done a fine job, and that I was ready to take on all comers.

That being said, I still never forgot that one incredible roleplay.

To this day, a part of me wonders if maybe I should try to go back to the original thread and finish it alone.  I believe I'm at least an okay writer, and I've spent countless hours thinking up what could have happened, and how it all would have ended.  Another part of me wants to bug the HELL out of the original folks involved, and BEG for some sort of decent ending to the story we poured so much of ourselves into... even though at least half of that crew no longer comes here.

But the thought remains.  And still, as early as this morning, I find myself yearning for closure.  Aching for a need that most likely will go unheeded.  Wishing I'd been better, or more active, or even just more supportive to the others... which I hadn't been lacking in, but I could've done MORE...

Well, for what it's worth, I STILL feel like that story was one of my better attempts at roleplay - especially the nightmare sequences - and my time wasn't wasted there.  I feel like it serves as a reminder that, even if something seems perfect and good, there can always be rain for your picnic.  But even with that thought, there still lies a spark of Harmony's Light that lives on in me.

And who knows?  Maybe one day, I WILL return to it, and finish it properly.  Only time will tell, I suppose.

And to the illustrious crew that starred in this incredible roleplay... 

Jonas Darkmane (now Alastor)

Pucksterv

Magos Amphrose (now That One Techpriest You Used To Know)

Count Paradox

Stardust*

and ~Octavia~

... I say unto each and every one of you that it was an honor roleplaying with you all, and I hope that the future brings nothing but good times for each and every one of you.

For Harmony's Light... excelsior.