So I have thought about this and...I see that I have a lot of pent up anger within me.

My anger comes from a few things I would say. A lot of it is social and life events. I've had a pretty rough last several years and I think it's all added up.

-Multiple family losses, including my father back in 2020. That one really effected me.

-Financial hardship. Due to car troubles and family incompetence, I have had to spend so much money to keep things afloat. I had to join a debt relief program and had to take out 401k money. Sell personal things like game systems and so on.

-Social problems. I feel like my elders failed to prepare to socialize with others. It does not help that I have a degree of autism which makes socializing hard for me as well. I rarely got to hang out with friends. Everytime I tried to make plans they always fell through. I am always rejected or blown off for one reason or another, be it hanging out or asking a woman I was interested in out. I am aware that I am not owed or entitled to anything but I feel like I never got a fair chance to grow my social skills.

-Expectations. I feel like the world is expected of me. I always have to go above and beyond. Work harder than others. When I make plans to hang out I have to do everything. I am expecting to pay for a lot of house stuff. Family constant berates me about money and driving. I could go on.

Due to all of this I have a lot of anger and resentment inside of me. And to be honest I do not know if I have it in me to forgive. I try and try but it's so hard. I just wanted to get this off of my chest.