Please Replace Me Forever

 

• MLP: FiM
• Dark
• Comedy
• Sad

 Most ponies don't want to be replaced by a changeling or spend the rest of their lives suspended in a cocoon. Most. 

• Suicide / Self Harm
• OC
• Changelings

Night Shine dragonslayer · 13k words  ·  267   3 · 2.7k views

Overall. A Perfect Day

Best lines:

"I don't see your poin-"

"Look closer. Or smell, or taste, or whatever. Just check again. I know it's there."

After a moment, the changeling made a face.

"Exactly."

 

"-right. Day Dreamer." She took a deep breath. "Have you, uh… tried talking about your feelings with your pa-"

"Finish that sentence and I swear to Luna I'll scream...

 

They can make me live happily ever after.
Then I can be myself, by myself.

Although I wanted this to say "They can be myself." so bad at the end of that.

Oh, and "don't go looking for us." That one was partly to protect our secrecy, but mostly to stop him from wandering somewhere alone and getting himself eaten. Basic rules, mostly for his own good.

 

I appreciate your concern. Really, I do. But my little Dreamy is just fine. He had a- a changeling phase a few years ago when he was struggling with his mental health, but he's better now.

Why read? page turner; intrigue; great OC; relatable themes

Flaws. Generally well written (and boy is it complicated D: ) but there's a few slips.

"—right. Day Dreamer." She took a deep breath. "Have you, uh… tried talking about your feelings with your pa—"

Rainbow Dash loves those long lines —

Clypeus's expression looked was carved out of marble.

"You have no idea how lucky you are," he said, "that the failure in Canterlot made my hive so desperate."

This random said tag bugs me (pun intended). Maybe it's a pause-resume you want?

"You have no idea how lucky you are—" He paused. "—that the failure in Canterlot made my hive so desperate."

Meta: Skim-read? ✔ Full-read? TBC Recommend Author? TBC

Final thought. I Like Big Bugs And I Cannot Lie / You Other Grubbers Can't Deny