I hope you're alright, aside from what happened, and what you said at the end was beautiful. We're glad you're back, even if it's for a little while. This made me smile. We love you, Starlight Serenade.

I hope things turn for the better @Starlight Serenade, we love everything about what you do on MLP Forums  

Thank you @Shwaaaalalalalaburger and @ZiggWheelsManning for your kind words, I truly appreciate it

The both of you are wonderful people, never forget that.

 

Edited March 22 by Starlight Serenade

I have to tell, honestly, something constantly told me that I shouldn't worry about your situation, I always feel that you're dealing with what's happening, no matter how bad it is, you have your struggles but you always seem to have the key to solve them. That's amazing, that's why I always have the hope that you'll return (aside from your sometimes showing up online)

From what I could understand, I believe, that maybe we feel the same thing, or at least something very similar. The differences are that we live completely different contexts, reasons, consequences and thoughts from each other, so at the same time, we also feel the opposite.

I really hope everything goes well for you, thank you for sharing this, I think this encouraged me to think about doing something, I'm thinking about sharing what I'm feeling too, though, I thought about doing it in blog format too, but something tells me that I should post in the "life advice" section. I'm happy that you feel strong enough and hopeful, but that's where we feel the opposite from each other, it's bad, It hasn't even happened to me yet, and I've already kind of given up on it. If you've never really dreamed, I can say for sure that I've always dreamed, I always had dreams, unfortunately I feel like they're all being killed. I don't think you can help me with this, but your friendship alone is already good enough, I really appreciate that, thanks, continue fulfilling your goals my friend ~☆

9 hours ago, RafaStaryStory said:

I have to tell, honestly, something constantly told me that I shouldn't worry about your situation, I always feel that you're dealing with what's happening, no matter how bad it is, you have your struggles but you always seem to have the key to solve them. That's amazing, that's why I always have the hope that you'll return (aside from your sometimes showing up online)

From what I could understand, I believe, that maybe we feel the same thing, or at least something very similar. The differences are that we live completely different contexts, reasons, consequences and thoughts from each other, so at the same time, we also feel the opposite.

I really hope everything goes well for you, thank you for sharing this, I think this encouraged me to think about doing something, I'm thinking about sharing what I'm feeling too, though, I thought about doing it in blog format too, but something tells me that I should post in the "life advice" section. I'm happy that you feel strong enough and hopeful, but that's where we feel the opposite from each other, it's bad, It hasn't even happened to me yet, and I've already kind of given up on it. If you've never really dreamed, I can say for sure that I've always dreamed, I always had dreams, unfortunately I feel like they're all being killed. I don't think you can help me with this, but your friendship alone is already good enough, I really appreciate that, thanks, continue fulfilling your goals my friend ~☆

 

Thank you @RafaStaryStory for your kind words. 

 

To be honest, I don’t see myself as a person with all the answers to all my problems. 

 

I’m a heavily flawed person.

 

To put it bluntly, there hasn’t been a day where I thought negatively and wanted to give up. 

 

But I keep moving. 

 

Why?

 

It’s all in the mind and a matter of perspective. 

 

When we are too fixated on one thing, we forget about the most important things around us. 

 

I’m not continuing because of someone else or some big dream, but because there’s a desire beyond the desire. 

 

To further elaborate this point, I realized that these feelings we have are universal, because of our innate differences in who we are and where we come from. 

 

Though I will say this, if a dream hasn’t happened to you yet and you’ve already given up on it, it’s still a dream. 

 

Similar to how a man dies when he is forgotten, so do dreams. 

 

Just because I don’t have a dream doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t dream or have any goals. 

 

Do you know why you dream? 

 

It’s because you have a desire in your life. 

 

Whenever you fail on something or something hasn’t gone your way, you tend to focus on your mistakes and where you went wrong, right? 

 

Similar to when you think of reasons why not to do something or pursue something, you can easily sit down and think of all the reasons why not to do it. There always tends to be more negatives than positives, no?

 

Why is that?

 

When you wrote “already kind of”, I pictured a person who was still dreaming, but they forgot to somehow and that’s okay. 

 

We all get lost in our lives. This is a universal theme that we all feel as human beings, but I want you to sit down and really listen to yourself. 

 

I think each and every person is full of untapped potential and many never achieve this as they are led to believe otherwise. Either by themselves, other people, or by life. 

 

I have lost many people in my life and many things I cherished, it’s so easy to look at the negatives and accept defeat among the storms of negativity. 

 

But do you know what is even harder?  

 

Remembering that beyond those storms, there is a heaving vastness of unbroken blue that is the clear blue sky.  

 

Because you’re an artist, it reminds me of a canvas that you might draw upon. 

 

You are able to see so many possibilities that many others aren’t able to despite whatever life throws your way.

 

You are much more incredible than you think my friend.

Thanks Serenade, your words are really strong. I feel that there are a lot of things disturbing me, and I'm not even having to face "adult problems" (yet). Some of them in the real world, others are personal, others are...spiritual? It's hard to explain, but what I can say is that I constantly feel very weird things, which alert me about things that I can't really deal with, it happened 3 times already only in 2025, I went through 3 experiences which I think where "internal panic attacks" or something like that, I started crying for no reason and felt a very bad sensation, but it was really bad, in a level I believe I never felt before. The first time was when I witnessed (for the first time) hundreds of people enjoying something that I personally consider to be the most absolute disgrace of this decade. The second time was after I heard some people talking about real world problems. And the third and so far last time I felt that way was when I tried to tell in detail about these feelings with a friend from this forum. I started crying before I could even write a single word, and decided to not tell him anything. 

I feel that there's something seriously wrong, I try to focus on things that make me happy, but they just can't make me forget about these other things, I actually think these things are affecting the things I like, my dream jncluded. I'm probably very disappointed, and specially, in fear, maybe I saw and heard things that I shouldn't have, I don't know, I just know that this is something that not even me really comprehend completely. Anyway, this is just a short vague preview of what I'm feeling, I actually don't think I'll ever enter in full details about the things I'm feeling and thinking about, at least not until I feel prepared to do it. I feel that it could scare anyone who would hear or read it, I really still don't want for you or anyone (yes, even my family, I have no courage for this) to know what these things are, so for now, I only tell that they exist.

I really hope you're not having these feelings or thoughts, or something similar to them, they are really bad.

10 hours ago, RafaStaryStory said:

Thanks Serenade, your words are really strong. I feel that there are a lot of things disturbing me, and I'm not even having to face "adult problems" (yet). Some of them in the real world, others are personal, others are...spiritual? It's hard to explain, but what I can say is that I constantly feel very weird things, which alert me about things that I can't really deal with, it happened 3 times already only in 2025, I went through 3 experiences which I think where "internal panic attacks" or something like that, I started crying for no reason and felt a very bad sensation, but it was really bad, in a level I believe I never felt before. The first time was when I witnessed (for the first time) hundreds of people enjoying something that I personally consider to be the most absolute disgrace of this decade. The second time was after I heard some people talking about real world problems. And the third and so far last time I felt that way was when I tried to tell in detail about these feelings with a friend from this forum. I started crying before I could even write a single word, and decided to not tell him anything. 

I feel that there's something seriously wrong, I try to focus on things that make me happy, but they just can't make me forget about these other things, I actually think these things are affecting the things I like, my dream jncluded. I'm probably very disappointed, and specially, in fear, maybe I saw and heard things that I shouldn't have, I don't know, I just know that this is something that not even me really comprehend completely. Anyway, this is just a short vague preview of what I'm feeling, I actually don't think I'll ever enter in full details about the things I'm feeling and thinking about, at least not until I feel prepared to do it. I feel that it could scare anyone who would hear or read it, I really still don't want for you or anyone (yes, even my family, I have no courage for this) to know what these things are, so for now, I only tell that they exist.

I really hope you're not having these feelings or thoughts, or something similar to them, they are really bad.

 

Thank you @RafaStaryStory for sharing your thoughts and feelings as some topics are not really easy to talk about.

It takes great courage and bravery and I commend you for doing so. 

I can tell that the feelings you are experiencing are overwhelming, but have you considered speaking to a professional or tried therapy to process these emotions you are going through?

You should definitely consider it. 

Look up any free resources that are local to you, there are a lot of helpful programs online as well.

Even if you are not completely ready to share all the details of what you are thinking and feeling, just know that I'm willing to listen whenever you are ready to discuss.

Please don’t forget what I mentioned about untapped potential as you have a much greater internal strength that is carrying you through all this. 

It’s okay to feel lost and feel overwhelmed sometimes, I know that feeling all too well. You are a resilient person and what you are going through is real and completely valid.

Despite going through all these hardships, always remember to perform some self-care and take good care of yourself.

Sometimes it’s the little things that can ground you during moments of chaos.

There’s so much beauty and wonder in life even when it feels hard to see during these times. 

But all these intense emotions, thoughts, and hard times, they will never define your entire existence.

Thank you for replying again. No, I never looked for profissional help, I always think that if I tried to do it, everything I would say would just sound too confusing, as myself can't really completely understand what I'm feeling, it's why I believe it was a good idea that I refused to tell it to my friend from the forum.

Though, I admit that I probably intentionally avoid seeking for such help, not because I believe that it wouldn't work, but because I have a big feeling that this is something I must face alone, I know you always need help to succeed in something, but I don't feel that this case is one of them, at least not yet. There are two things that I learned so far in my lifetime without the help of anyone. Drawing and Communicating in English nearly perfectly, these are two things I learned alone, so hese are the only 2 things that can really make me feel proud of myself, so it's very important to me.

Thank you for telling me that I have potential, if it really exists, then I believe there's the chance that I can win this by myself. But don't worry, in case i start feeling that I really can't deal with it alone, I will try to look for help, though, you know, I feel that something is telling me that it's still not the right time to reveal it, so I don't think that will happen so soon, so for now, i'll be like this.

Anyway, thank you for all the words, you have a lot of potential too, continue strong, I'll be here as well if you need any help ~☆

2 hours ago, RafaStaryStory said:

Thank you for replying again. No, I never looked for profissional help, I always think that if I tried to do it, everything I would say would just sound too confusing, as myself can't really completely understand what I'm feeling, it's why I believe it was a good idea that I refused to tell it to my friend from the forum.

Though, I admit that I probably intentionally avoid seeking for such help, not because I believe that it wouldn't work, but because I have a big feeling that this is something I must face alone, I know you always need help to succeed in something, but I don't feel that this case is one of them, at least not yet. There are two things that I learned so far in my lifetime without the help of anyone. Drawing and Communicating in English nearly perfectly, these are two things I learned alone, so hese are the only 2 things that can really make me feel proud of myself, so it's very important to me.

Thank you for telling me that I have potential, if it really exists, then I believe there's the chance that I can win this by myself. But don't worry, in case i start feeling that I really can't deal with it alone, I will try to look for help, though, you know, I feel that something is telling me that it's still not the right time to reveal it, so I don't think that will happen so soon, so for now, i'll be like this.

Anyway, thank you for all the words, you have a lot of potential too, continue strong, I'll be here as well if you need any help ~☆

Thank you again @RafaStaryStory for sharing your honest responses.

I totally understand that some feelings are too complex and difficult to put into words. 

Despite being a native here and owning degrees, I’m still striving to better articulate my feelings through my writing.

Never stop learning and growing.

Facing this challenge is very difficult, but I respect your desire and wish to pursue it based on your other successes. 

Please don’t forget that seeking out help from others is never a sign of weakness, but strength!

I’m glad that my words could help you. You are much stronger than you lead yourself to believe. 

Please don’t be afraid to reach out anytime as you continue to work through these issues, I will be here to listen without judgement.

I have friends all over the world with differing perspectives as they come from all kinds of backgrounds, so I’m more used to hearing all kinds of things. 

Your friendship and offer of support do mean a lot to me, we’re never alone in our journeys. 

Keep on striving for your dreams and working towards the things that bring you joy and fruition to others as well. 

Thank you again Rafa. 

I look forward to seeing you grow and thrive alongside all of our friends here on the forums.