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Random reflection, tiny update, and honestly I have no idea what to title this


Starlight Serenade

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So I totally forgot to update you guys in the midst of everything in my life banding about. 

 

I was considering a blog, but maybe this should be a post, Idk. 

 

Several people have reached out to me about not responding to my discord messages and such - well, I have decided to simply not use it as much anymore. 

 

I was considering account deletion and was unfriending some people over time the past few months, as admittedly I was unhappy about some relationships with people, in some cases I was emotionally used by others where they ignored my thoughts and feelings on things in general, and in other cases it was not anyone’s fault. There were periods of time where I rarely had meaningful conversations in the week, despite having tons of  friends online.

 

 Whenever I had any issues with anyone, I started to be more direct and it led to some great conversations and introspection. Other relationships ended respectfully or others were acknowledged to have run their course. Like two ships passing in the night.  

 

My clinical depression also causes extreme withdrawals, which leads to episodes of depersonalization and dissociation of other people. Even with my loved ones from time to time. So please do not take anything personally as there are some things I cannot always control.  

 

If anyone thinks I hate them or anything negative, I really do not. 

 

Usually if I dislike someone, I tell them directly, they say it back, we glare at each other and say “grrr” for a bit, usually until someone smirks, and then we laugh about it together. I wish I was exaggerating on this, but that happened to me more times than I can count IRL. It’s partially why I have started to essentially forgive everyone that I have met in the past. Even the people who really hurt me.

 

I had an insightful conversation with someone that is a Buddhist here and they granted me a perspective I haven’t considered as I get busy with a lot of things online and IRL. 

 

Sometimes leaving things be and walking away from the chaos is better for your mental health. 

 

I feel liking having a lot of realizations is a recurring theme in my life XD

 

I know there are other users who experience similar things, while others are not so understanding and that’s okay. Just as I try to be patient and respectful with you, I ask you to please try the same for me. 

 

Hope this clears up some things as I was receiving a lot of random messages and I needed to start clearing up my inbox.

 

Lastly, I plan to take a small break soon to take care of things, but I sincerely wish everyone and their loved ones the best in the meantime.

 

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Thank you for everything, Starlight ^•^

I wish you the best of lucks and tailwind in your not easy journey <3

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Oh boy, I'm sorry for that, it surely reminds me of my experiences with past friendships 3 years ago. It might be really hard to be so busy in real world and then also have headache in online interaction. It's always good to avoid chaos and drama, if you see that it's not working then just move on, it's not worth, you're doing good, you apparently already have too many problems in your life to deal with it, you deserve some peace and tranquility when coming to a place you expect to be your escapism or spare time. Some people can really force our anger, I can't imagine you changing your personality that way, but I understand if it happens. It took me a few years to realize these things and finally start doing what's best for my mind, glad you're taking the same path now, I'm sure it'll be the best for you. Good luck my friend ~☆

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aw, I'm sorry to hear this Starlight :hug_day:you have a break and recuperate. Social media is great when things are up, but it can get a bit much. You learn who the good ponies are in the long run, though 

Edited by abronymouse
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Thank you to everyone for the kind words, patience,  and most importantly understanding.

It always means so much to see your heartfelt and supportive messages. They help me feel a lot less alone in the world whenever I go through these intense periods in my life.

Life can get so overwhelming for us at times, but it's so lovely to see such graceful empathy and uplifting encouragement from this wonderful community.

13 hours ago, Crypty Scribbles said:

Thank you for everything, Starlight ^•^

I wish you the best of lucks and tailwind in your not easy journey <3

@Crypty Scribbles Thank you again for the well wishes and the tailwind, I will take everything I can get!

3 hours ago, RafaStaryStory said:

Oh boy, I'm sorry for that, it surely reminds me of my experiences with past friendships 3 years ago. It might be really hard to be so busy in real world and then also have headache in online interaction. It's always good to avoid chaos and drama, if you see that it's not working then just move on, it's not worth, you're doing good, you apparently already have too many problems in your life to deal with it, you deserve some peace and tranquility when coming to a place you expect to be your escapism or spare time. Some people can really force our anger, I can't imagine you changing your personality that way, but I understand if it happens. It took me a few years to realize these things and finally start doing what's best for my mind, glad you're taking the same path now, I'm sure it'll be the best for you. Good luck my friend ~☆

@RafaStaryStory I appreciate you sharing your own experiences and thoughts as they are very valuable. It's always inspiring to know how others have been through similar situations and how they came out stronger. We lift each other up with our journeys and wisdom, so much more than we will ever know.

3 hours ago, abronymouse said:

aw, I'm sorry to hear this Starlight :hug_day:you have a break and recuperate. Social media is great when things are up, but it can get a bit much. You learn who the good ponies are in the long run, though 

@abronymouse You are very right! Social spaces can be great, but it's always important to remind ourselves to step back and do some self care once in a while. I'm truly grateful to have met and known so many great ponies here.

 

Thank you three and everyone else who sent me well wishes. I will always wish all of you and your loved ones the best as well.

I do have one request for everyone: Please always look after yourselves and one another. 

Friendships are so incredibly important and it is critical that we continue to spread peace and love with everyone in this world.

I will see everyone around again soon. Thank you again for all your kindness, patience, and understanding :twilightsmile:

 

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I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I look forward to welcoming you back in time, you take care, be good to yourself :twilightsmile:

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