Jump to content
Guidelines
  • entries
    29
  • comments
    183
  • views
    4,363

Quite the Series of Unfortunate Events For Me

EtchASketch

Entry posted by EtchASketch in Important to Me

495 views

 Share

My whole life has been such a series of unfortunate events, I feel older than I am. What's my relationship with everyone in my family? I'll tell you about it.

First, I will say that all of my siblings have different dads. We all live in different places as well.

Warning! Mentions of abuse, death, and trauma. It's overall very sad and heartbreaking. Viewer discretion is advised.

 

 

Spoiler

My oldest sister: She lives in West Virginia and I think she said she may be going out to explore other places. Her dad died years ago from cancer, if I remember correctly. I was too young to understand, but she was devastated. I think I only got to speak to him a few times over the phone. My sister lived with mother when they lived somewhere else, but I wasn't born at this point. She's out of college, and I believe she wasn't treated as bad as us. (I mean as of now, but she was abused physically when she was little. Mother "whooped" all of us.) Unfortunately, she doesn't know about what's happening here.

Second oldest sister: She lives somewhere in Missouri as a roommate or something. I can't quite recall, but she's going to college. Her father is the one who was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's and cancer. He's the only one I truly met and got to visit often. I'll miss him when he's gone..She wasn't a big target of mother's abuse, but she understands the gravity of it and strongly disagrees with her behavior.

Middle sister: She's in highschool now and lives in Missouri with the father of my second oldest sister. I have no idea who her dad is and we never met him. She was abused the worst out of all of us physically. We both genuinely have trauma from it. Hers coming from experiencing it and me having to witness it...she was hurt so much, she was driven to do something very bad. She only didn't do it because I was there. I'm quite glad she didn't do it. I'm happy for her since she moved out at thirteen so she wouldn't have to deal with mother anymore. Though, I cried every night because I was so lonely. She completely understands and empathizes everytime I tell her about something that happened over here 

Little brother: He's probably in the fifth or sixth grade. I don't really know since I never got to meet him. He lives in New York. Sadly, he's bad and is a criminal in the making. His dad is very much alive and is teaching him to do wrong. He was never a victim of mother's abuse (fortunately!), nor does he know it's going on.

Me: I saved mine for last since it will be the longest. I live here in Illinois and I'm the only one who's going to live with mother for my entire childhood. I don't know who my dad is and I don't know if he's alive or not. As you know, I have been a target of mother's abuse for so long. Ever since I barely became sentient. She hurt me when I made little errors as a toddler. I remember she threw a cup of water at me when I was so small and couldn't reach the sink. I remember when yelled at me and punished me for not knowing her middle name. She asked me "What else do you not know!? Do you know what our address is?!" And forced me to write it down 100 times in neat writing. I was probably in the third grade then. I remember when an entire glass pitcher went missing and she thought I broke it. I got in deep trouble for something I didn't do. We found out she broke it and she didn't apologize. I remember everything she's done, yet she's so easy to forget. Everytime she beat us, she would ask, "What are you crying for?! You have nothing to cry about!" And forced us to smile as if we weren't in excruciating pain. I have many scars on my legs and in my mind from it all. She wonders why I'm so startled by loud noises, but it's because of all of the yelling and crying from my siblings when she hurt them. She questions why I always flinch when she comes in the room. I always think that I did something wrong and she's just going to hurt me again. I fear this is only going to get worse. I'm the only other person here and she may just take everything out on me again. I don't like it here. It's so scary to make even the slightest mistake. I try to understand that it's hard being a parent and she could just be stressed. I try to understand that she doesn't value how I feel and that's okay since I'm just a kid. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. She claims to be proud of me. I can't believe it.. I'm always doing something wrong. I'm sorry I'm not doing whatever it is right

 

I'm sorry this was so dark, but it's just..how it is for us..or me. 

  • Hugs 8
 Share

9 Comments

Recommended Comments

ThePinkestofPones

I'm gonna go on a rant here, about my brother, but, as a kid, my mom was always moving us around and with different guys too, and every time one of those stupid ass guys would leave my mom or cheat and it pissed me off, my brother would sometimes pick on me, but, by pranking me by shaving my head and putting baby powder in my hair, harmless pranks.

Somewhere along the line we met my current Dad, technically stepdad, Dennis, he was the best man my Mom had ever met, he was great to us both despite having Bipolar, he takes meds for it. And he also has Autism like me.

But one day, my brother and Dennis started butting heads, Dennis worked all day and played video games til the buttcrack of dawn, but he was never mean, but my brother resented him because he never had time to play with him and my brother was hanging out with bum ass neighborhood kids and getting in fights.

To make matters worse my bro was constantly picking on me, hitting me, discouraging my autistic behaviors and dismissing my sensory disorders by continuing to touch me and play loud music, I wasn't going to let him treat me this way so I fought back and argued back despite his attempts to shut me up, always telling me I'm not part of a conversation when he's being a dillhole to MY mother and father.

He's terrible to us all, and my uncle and aunt.

 

  • Brohoof 1
  • Hugs 4
Link to comment
ComanderZhabikKlavik

You are great that you didn't break down and continue to be a good person despite the fact that your life is not so good. This is amazing!

  • Brohoof 3
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Raskolnikov

Raskolnikov 1,704

Posted (edited)

Holy crap dude, that is so many layers of fucked up and I'm so sorry about all this... this is not normal behaviour, it has nothing to do with the stress of a parent, that is utterly insane behaviour from anyone but especially towards one's own child it is reprehensible. You have legitimately done nothing wrong to deserve any of that, this just reeks of reaching for any fabricated excuse to lash out at you. It legitimately has nothing to do with what you're doing and everything to do with whatever's wrong with her head - your well being SHOULD matter to her regardless of how young you are...

Truth be told I get concerned when someone is preoccupied with always being positive because I suspect something is going on but I wasn't expecting all of that... I hope you know it's okay to be upset about being hurt. :/

Edited by Raskolnikov
  • Brohoof 4
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Snow

I really wish I could come up with something meaningful or even advisory to say in response but I’m drawing a blank.

What I will say is I read and appreciate you sharing your story with us Sketch and I really do wish you well.

I hope things get better for you.

  • Brohoof 2
  • Hugs 2
Link to comment
Bairro Moetriet Vagrant

https://www.thehotline.org/

Spoiler

 

What happens if a parent abuses their child in the U.S? Can this poor filly seek legal assistance from communities, institutes or the government?

Filly, you gonna move out like your sis someday. Do you have dependable friends, relatives? Find some people can actually support you. Looks like you have to grow up fast if you wish to have a better life

There are school prizes for those who learns well, maybe you can also find a part-time job when you are in high school and college. The sooner you can support yourself financially, the better chance you can survive.

  • Brohoof 4
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
EtchASketch
4 minutes ago, Bairro M Vagrant said:

https://www.thehotline.org/

  Reveal hidden contents

 

What happens if a parent abuses their child in the U.S? Can this poor filly seek legal assistance from communities, institutes or the government?

Filly, you gonna move out like your sis someday. Do you have dependable friends, relatives? Find some people can actually support you. Looks like you have to grow up fast if you wish to have a better life

There are school prizes for those who learns well, maybe you can also find a part-time job when you are in high school and college. The sooner you can support yourself financially, the better chance you can survive.

It's not that simple for me. She'd never let me leave since she has custody of me. I'd also have to bring my things, but she'd probably just tell me that since she bought it, she'll keep it. I'm not in immediate danger. Mother stopped hurting me physically sometimes during or after the fifth grade. The only problem is the emotional abuse.

  • Hugs 3
Link to comment
Crypty Scribbles

Oh, lil sis. :(

I wish you to stay strong and not loose yourself under such pressure. Many got broken. I wish I could do more, but the only thing I can offer is emotional support. Just know that some people here have met some shit and understand you. You aren't alone. :blush:

  • Brohoof 2
  • Hugs 3
Link to comment
Raskolnikov
11 hours ago, Hippity Hoppity Sketch said:

It's not that simple for me. She'd never let me leave since she has custody of me. I'd also have to bring my things, but she'd probably just tell me that since she bought it, she'll keep it. I'm not in immediate danger. Mother stopped hurting me physically sometimes during or after the fifth grade. The only problem is the emotional abuse.

Unless I interpreted it wrong I think Bairro was suggesting that you could put money aside to move out when you become a legal adult and she cannot legally stop you at that point from leaving (even if it feels very, VERY scary. believe me I know)

It's up to you how you handle it of course, you don't have to do anything you don't want to :] But just because you're physically safe doesn't mean you're emotionally safe - the scars of emotional abuse often are the deepest of the survivors of even the most grotesque abuse. I think that's why Bairro brought it up because over time emotional abuse takes a heavy toll. Your emotional wellbeing matters too. <3

  • Brohoof 2
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
EtchASketch
2 hours ago, Raskolnikov said:

Unless I interpreted it wrong I think Bairro was suggesting that you could put money aside to move out when you become a legal adult and she cannot legally stop you at that point from leaving (even if it feels very, VERY scary. believe me I know)

It's up to you how you handle it of course, you don't have to do anything you don't want to :] But just because you're physically safe doesn't mean you're emotionally safe - the scars of emotional abuse often are the deepest of the survivors of even the most grotesque abuse. I think that's why Bairro brought it up because over time emotional abuse takes a heavy toll. Your emotional wellbeing matters too. <3

I understand. I can try to do so and hope she doesn't notice. (She sometimes takes money from my piggy bank, so I'll hide some.)

  • Sad 2
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Join the herd!

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...