This is normally not something I do in blog form since it's usually placed in the "How are you feeling?" thread.

But how I'm feeling is something I can't express through a post like that. 

The ANGER I feel towards my bestie's biological mom right now is inexpressable because I'm not physically showing it, I'm calm angry, but not without those thoughts of wanting to reach through the phone and jackslap bestie's mother. 

And I know she feels the same way, we both don't like her, she's a danger to us, not me a danger to them...

When you have only two friends and do not desire to make more, it is required that the childhood friend stays your friend, at least in my mind.

Though I had childhood friends that were family friends that grew away from me, this one is my forever bestie, we bonded through so much, Creepypasta, FNAF, Minecraft, those old cringy gacha life FNAF things (Not those ones, GOD NO, just the ones where like CC would be an angel or smth).

I helped her through bullying, made her laugh, made her happy, and all it took was one dramatic "f*ck" to get it this way, and now her mom thinks I'm a danger, how should it feel, because it hurts my soul to think about...

My only (female) friend is being torn apart by someone who will never understand what being autistic is or what it means, and like a song I listen to a lot says: "You sit upon your throne and you roll your diamond dice," she thinks she's all high and mighty...

When I'm in character, I really get going because when I roleplay, it's not just a role, it's like I AM that character, because that's what hyperfixation is...

"All the failures help to fuel success," and to HER that's us, that's us two..."You send us all to die in your Pegasus Device," our hopes and dreams ground up under her boot, representing the Pegasus Device and Scootaloo... 

For me, scary things are my pasttime, I get absorbed in the characters and when I tell a story I intend to stick to it, would anything have changed if I said "Sh*t" instead, no, it wouldn't have...Last year I was at a Trunk or Treat event, and I refused to speak because I was Michael Myers.

Was it all a mistake, was being a character like Jeff the wrong idea for this roleplay? Was how I characterized him wrong? should I have been a different character?Butterfly effect mumbo jumbo, that's what this is...

I know this is a rambly kind of vent that has like, no direction, but, y'know that's how it goes.