TW: Implied abuse (physical and mental), mental manipulation

Log 22

Date: June 17th

Time: 12:30 AM

I have brought Michael home after he ran away from me, he's been such a little demon recently, he's figured it out that I am not his father, he wants to live with that little rat Jeremy Fitzgerald. 

But it's okay, I still love him, I will ALWAYS love him, he is my son in my heart, and he always will be, I will forgive him no matter what he does, the other two were not worth much, but Michael is worth everything.

The other two only got in the way, I'm kind've glad they're gone, too many bad memories lay in keeping those kids around. 

It's not that I didn't WANT to be a father, I did, but...not to them, to someone with no one I'm connected with attached, someone with no prior connections to me. 

Michael was perfect, just perfect for this role...He...wasn't supposed to be though...I got attached, I killed his parents, and I got attached, but I didn't know he had an aunt, she's been looking for him, so I had to hide him...He grew to see me as his father, since he was only 5 when I took him away.

He's grown up so well, he's always listened, obeyed what I've told him, like a doll if you will. Well, not always, there were times I had to discipline him, he doesn't misbehave again after that.

I feel bad, I hate seeing him cry, but sometimes it's neccessary, I can't baby him forever, the boy needs discipline or he'll continue to misbehave.

My father taught me that, I had to console myself whenever it got rough, and while I want to comfort my son, it's best to let him deal with it on his own.

It serves him right for misbehaving, and he'll get over it in due time, love is often tough and so is life, he needs to learn that.

Doesn't he know that I love him? That I learned to care for him, that I gave him a place to live, and clothes to wear and a bed to sleep in? 

The experiments are what he does in return for me, a token of trade, it's like elephants and birds in Africa, that's what we are to each other. 

But Jeremy has convinced him that I am a bad person, I've been nothing but kind to Michael, I have done nothing but help him.

He's starting to become ungrateful and selfish, is he hellbent on hurting me? Doesn't he care about the one who protected him from the people who wanted to put him in a foster home? 

Ah, he's just growing up, this is just a stage of life, a phase if you will, he's still my Mikey, he's just getting older.

He is 15 after all, he's just a little moody, he's still my kiddo, my boy.

I will never let him go, ever...He's all I have, I'm all HE has, we need each other, he CAN'T leave, he can't.

I can't go back to being alone again, I REFUSE to be alone again. 

I miss the days when he was scared and he'd come to me for comfort and love, and I'd be happy to give him love and hugs and cuddles.

When he trusted me, when he listened to me, when he didn't try to run away from me for some blond headed deliquent from hell. 

I tried so hard, I did, I really tried hard...But he still ran from me...Like a scared little lamb. And it's my job as the herder to scare him back to the pen, back to the safe pen with the lush grass, safe and sound forever.

Forever. 

Forever he shall stay, with me, for all of time, I will never be alone again. 

Never.

He shall stay with me forever, even if I have to kill him like the rest of em. 

Then he'll be safe, and can never leave again.

I've tried my hardest to convince him, and nothing has worked, this might have to be my last resort.

I'll take him back to the pizzeria, take him backstage, and then...I'll have to decide the rest. 

Yes, it's foolproof, I'll bring the Spring Bonnie suit, give him a little entertainment, and it'll be all over quickly, he won't even have time to register the pain, it won't hurt him, I'll make sure of that, I don't want his last moments to be him in agony.

I want him to know I'm doing this because I love him. 

My dear son, soon it will be over...

I will put you back together.