I love a calm spring day. The sun beats down sun rays to create a subtle heat radiating from the Canadian sky. But the wind blows just gently, not to distort the placement of your hair to a large proportion, but to cool the skin and prevent overheating. And you can watch the clouds move with a constant flow, never changing

never changing.

At the Institution where I'm suppose to be getting my mind molded ready for the scary, ever changing future, I stumbled upon something. Something so incredible that I want to keep at it!

In the midst of the hallway on a Monday morning, bus drop off arrives. All of the socially awkward, sexually frustrated kids loom in the front lobby. There appearances are sad. They fake the happyness on there face. Or maybe this is all the happiness there aloud to have. But whatever I move on.

Getting up from my spot near my locker in the hallway, I pass through the stream of people getting off of the buss, and the crowd of disgusting teenagers.

"Look at these kids" I think to my self. "How did they get here"

" All just products of there parents. All of there ideals either just the agreeing or opposite point of view shared among there guardians and peers. They take on as if there lives meant something so much to them. When really they probably don't even know who they are themselves yet".

I pondered long about this. Why can't I connect on the same level to these mindless zombies. All they seem to do is watch television and talk about it. Or listen to a new music artist, and then talk about it. Or they talk about the things they want or need (which in today's society is just a cheep way to way want). There's a difference between needing water and needing a sports car. Nobody talks about the things they have and love, because....

Well see, that's the thing. I don't know how to finish that sentence! For f*cks sake if I could, how much pressure would lift from my fogged mind! It is my main tool for use in my decent to madness.

sometimes I think I'm just out of touch. I don't know if there's something wrong with me or there's something wrong with people. All just ignorant to the world around them. Locked up in there iPod, cellphone, click click universe. It's a poison that has even affect I yes I am a hypocrite! I declaire that. For there is no excuse for me to be complaining about technological distraction while using technology to do so. But being aware of that fact is important, open up your mind, escape from your plastic box world!

While I'm the halls, dodging bags of skin and organ tissue that fly in my direction, I went through the door to pass by the smokers pit, to the side of the school. The smokers pit was just a rock that sat at the side of the building parallel to the cafeteria on the interior of the building. It's usually a place I try to avoid, but when all of the smokers disperse at lunch to go get there feed, I dragged my tired feet over when there's about one or two people there. I can't handle large groups directly.

I lit a cigarette and looked upon the street. The escence of suburbia. It made me giggle. I found my self singing th song that plays as the theme song for the show weeds. Little Boxes by Walk off the Earth.

"Little boxes, on the hillside,

Little Boxes made out of ticky tacky

Little boxes on the hillside,

Little boxes all the same.

There's a pink one,

and a green one,

and a blue one,

and a yellow one,

And there all made out of tick tacky,

And they all look just the same."

Suburbia does seem like a pleasant dream. And a capitalistic one at that. But I wont complain. I know that I can just buy something to ease the pain and confusion of the real world.

I'm not depressed. I feel fine. I just don't feel an energy off of people, it's like there missing something.

So I disposed my cigarette when It was approaching the filter.I took my hat off and when back in the building.

Venturing back to my locker, I kept my mind on one question. What is the general characteristic for harmony? How do I know I am experiencing harmony?

Harmony has 5 common definitions

1.) noun Compatibility in opinion and action. A balance of the abstract, and the physical.

2.)noun the structure of music with respect to the composition and progression of chords. When a beautiful symphony plays and goes through your ears, and into your soul, or whatever you call the bottomless pit that constitutes your being.

3.)noun A harmonious state of things in general and of their properties (as of colours and sounds); Congruity of parts with one another and the whole. As Ponyism would define it as "The perfect state of nature"

4.)noun Agreement of opinions.

and

5.)noun and agreeable sound property

Now it's funny to me. The word harmony seems like one of natures beautiful irony's. How Harmony can be both defined as an agreeable sound property and a congruity of parts with one another and the whole. When in reality we all claim to want harmony but all have different, unagreeable opinions that contradict each-other. Contradiction to create contradiction, a wicked problem for sure.

But today, In the loamy hallways of my learning institution, It finally occurred to me. It finally freed me to its knowledge. Im free now.

As I sat in my history class, reading text, writing points on Spartan Oligarchy down, and taking in all of the sensory information available in the room. As I kept writing without any distraction, I let go of my thoughts When you do that, great things happen! I assure you.

I actually managed to go into a meditation like state.

I payed close attention to the detail at hand, but not worrying about it in its physical presence. If I heard a voice from across the room, I studied it. I noticed tones and changes in pitch and lisps and such. Then I would switch voices. I would picture the people speaking, but not lifting my head from my paper. I haven't even noticed that I was still writing points down on the paper, without my knowledge. My hand was just moving!

I slowly started focusing on smaller and smaller details about space and time. I felt how long a second was. I could feel the air moving in the room and the small pressure changes on my skin. I respiration was the last thing I focused on. Everything else was just irrelevant to me and I just drooped my acknowledgement. Once my breath came to a slow, steady, steep kind, it just stopped.

Everything did. I closed my eyes. I was in darkness. Then I saw it. I thought "How did I get there" but instead of hearing it in my head like a thought, I was experiencing it. The essence of those words, clear as day.

It's hard to say really what happened to me. Afterwords I felt really calm and content And I somehow managed to finished my notes.

I have read books and literature on the acts of meditation, some pseudo scientific, and some spiritual text. But specifically the old spiritual texts were of an interest.

Meditation was seen as something much different from what the west thinks of it. There are more then a handful of methods that can trigger a meditative state. And what I experienced today, I believe, was a meditative state.

I don't feel wrong in anyway know. And i'm suppose to get a routine check up with my doctor soon. I will address what happened and maybe he can give me a biological understanding of that intense moment of concentration and euphoria I endured.

And this moment let one though enter my mind that I just cant let go.

Every thing is as it should be, and not what it shouldn't. Why should it?

And that,now, is my own personal description of harmony. It is an ever lasting essence that can enlighten only those who wish for the very opposite.

You have to stop searching for happiness in order to be truly happy.

~Leaf