Hello my fellow bronies. As many of you probably know by now, Hasbro has released the first official trailer for the 'Equestrian Girls' movie. For the few of you who have been living in a cave, 'Equestrian Girls' is a new spinoff series of MLP: FiM where Twilight and co are sucked through a portal to the human world, being transformed into humans themselves. My little Pony without ponies, sounds brilliant I know. Does anyone else think that sounds like a badly written fanfiction? Never mind that.

Today I am going to break down the trailer, pointing out things I like and things I hate. It is no secret that I am not very optimistic about this series being good, but I will try my best to break down this trailer fairly.

Here is the trailer:

So the trailer starts out with Twilight and Applejack walking towards a giant crystal castle. I would say it is very safe to assume that they are in the Crystal Empire. Twilight goes on about how she is nervous/excited before being greeted by all three princess'.

It then cuts to Twilight in front of some sort of mirror. Celestia seems to be talking like she knows something about the world they are about to be sent to. Is this maybe part of her studies?

Anyways, Twilight is now being sucked through some weird looking vortex; transporting her to the world of humans! (At least, I'm assuming they are humans. I haven't seen any humans with purple or blue skin before, have you?). She wakes up to the awkward sight of her own hands in front of her face, and Spike as a.... a dog?! Really?

What did they do to you Spike?! Ugh, I guess it 'wouldn't make sense' to have a dragon in this series. Twilight then screams in horror at how awful her visual design has become.

I'm sorry, It's been said to death but the visual designs are just... Stupid. She looks like a purple Bratz doll, while Spike looks like something out of Littlest Pet Shop.

That's when all of my fears regarding this series manifested in front of my eyes. Twilight opens the doors of a high school. A god damn high school.

Why is Twilight Sparkle in a high school? Why are any of them in high school? I always thought they were older than that. Think about it, they all live on their own and have jobs. Rarity is a business owner for Christ sake.

Age inconsistencies aside, the fact that the movie/show takes place in a high school opens the door for a dangerous amount of stupid cliches.

Speaking of which, cue the typical uninspired high school romance. That's right; from the looks of things it seems Twilight is going to have a love interest. Now I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything, but if every single high school drama ever has told me anything, this guy is going to be Mr perfect. He's attractive, kind, athletic, brave, all while having the personality of a piece of cardboard.

And if you though one high school cliche was enough, cue bitchy mean girl! We see some red/yellow haired girl picking on Twilight for no other reason than to be the antagonist. Seriously, you see these god damn 'mean girl' characters in every teen movie ever. They have no depth to their character, they are overused and have no other goal in life than to make like miserable for the protagonist.

Oh, and apparently Twilight's magic doesn't work now. Does that mean there is no magic in this new world? Probably. I love how a show called 'friendship is MAGIC', doesn't have magic in it anymore. I'm not too worried about this however; the entire movie will most likely be about Twilight regaining her magic.

Then we see something that really confuses me. Vinyl Scratch? The CMC? I thought it was just the Elements of Harmony who got sent to this world. Did all of Ponyville get transported as well? That seems a little inconsiderate. Imagine it; you are just some poor background pony living out your happy life when BOOM! You are transported to another dimension and thrust into an unfamiliar body without having any say in the matter.

But I digress. Moving on, Pinkie Pie tells Twilight about some sort of 'Princess of the ball' competition. Once again we are thrust into yet another High school cliche. Twilight will try to become prom queen, competing against the mean girl established earlier. If that wasn't enough, it is clear by the pictures on the wall that said mean girl is the prom queen several years running.

One thing did catch my attention in this trailer however. When Twilight and her friends are tossing around what looks like the element of magic. Giant explosion ensues, enveloping who knows what. Does this mean that they had to use the elements to defeat an unannounced enemy? Because so far the mean girl is the only hint of an antagonist shown so far. I feel like using the elements to defeat a high school bully would be a tad overkill, would it not?

But once again, I digress. Another major thing I noticed is that unlike the original designs, they lack their 'Pony' features, such as wings and horns.

Original designs:

You think someone like Rainbow Dash would be devastated by the loss of her wings. 'Sorry Dash, no more flying for you... Ever'. Yeah, I don't think she would really take that sitting down.

My final thoughts on the trailer? Well that's kind of tough. I want to like this show, I really do; but there honestly hasn't been a single thing about this trailer that I enjoy. The plot of this movie seems like it's going to be just a mess of lazy cliches and tired concepts. Seriously, every major thing in this trailer seems to be something every damn teen movie ever made has used. The visual designs are awkward, the concept is skewed and the plot elements all seem either redundant or unbelievably cliche.

I will still watch the movie however. I would like to give it a fair chance; who knows, it could surprise me. I will release a full review of the 'Equestrian Girls' movie once I get the chance to see it.

-Lawful Jordo out.