So, first thing you should know is, I've been living with my grandmother since January because of issues with my brother. Not a very big move. Five minute drive to my moms place. I still see her almost every day.

Anyway, bout lunchtime, I called my mom to ask her she could bring something up. First cll was on the landline. No answer. Left a message and texted.

She said she was in my room and said to call her. I asked her what she was doing in my room out of curiosity.

Her reply:

"Oh, just building a pantry."

That f*cking bucking hurt.

I think that the way she said it made it worse. She had said it like she was telling me she had just eaten a sandwich. Like it was normal. A daily event.

Anyway, she said she'd be up to bring what I wanted in a few minutes, so I waited in another room to look out the window. I cried. As soon as I heard the car pull up, I ran downstairs to the garage, trying to look like today was just any other day.

Nope.

Even though I smiled a huge (fake) smile, she instantly realized tht something was wrong.

She offered to let me come home for a while. It hurts just thinking about this. She kept asking questions then said,

"Is it just because of today?"

At first I didn't understand, but when she asked it a second time it clicked why she was asking.

Fathers Day.

Which bings me to another sub-subject.

I'm very sensitive about dad stuff. I don't feel like explaining it, so the reader's digest is that I never met my dad until almost exactly three years ago and my stepdad was a flank hole. Didn't even really realize that I existed. Thank Celestia he's gone now.

Anyhow, like I said, anything dad-related is touchy for me. Four years ago, I broke down because someone in this girls activity group was playing a song about the singer's dad being proud of them, or the singer was the dad and they were proud of their kid or something. I feel like crying if a song mentions the singer's dad or the like.

So yeh. Pretty sh*tty day. I can honestly say that one of the few highlights of my day was when I thought I fixed my computer, but then I was wrong.