<<< Part 1 here <<<

Regardless, Birch allows me to keep the Absol I kicked so much ass with earlier, even going so far as to prompt me for a nickname.

Yup, , this one is for you.

More phony compliments to try and earn my trust later, and I get this:

NO. NO IT WOULD NOT.

But he sticks me in an infinite loop until I agree, so I return to the Birch's house...and May isn't home. Wonderful.

I'm going to have to chase her down, aren't I?

I travel north without event until I reach Oldale Town. Thankfully, the presence of a Pokemart and Pokemon Center mean that this town is less of a dive than Littleroot, although not by much.

Heading out of town, I decide to test the Randomizer and Swickbro by running circles in the tall grass.

How...how have you not lit this forest on fire?

My first opponent turns out to by a Ponyta, a Pokemon not even present in the original, unedited Emerald. As I don't have any Pokeballs yet, I have no choice but to beat the horse into unconsciousness. The battle manages to level up Swickbro AGAIN. Now level 7, I feel confident enough to continue my search for May.

Well, that wasn't hard.

Turns out May didn't wander that far off after all. Convenient for me, right?

...flaming death-horses and bandana-wearing teenagers.

Of course, May is ecstatic to see me -- man, if she has a crush on me, I'm gonna be SO ticked. But then she notices the Pokeball on my belt.

"He just gave me a helmet for my birthday. "

So of course she wants to battle. Joy of all- OH SWEET MOTHER OF LOLS

Right, starters and all that stuff.

Of course May would have one of the two starters I didn't choose. Granted, going up against a Slaking at one point would suck. But fighting a plant seed? Child's play. Two hits and Sunkern is down for the count...

And Swickbro levels up AGAIN. Maybe this Randomizer won't be so challenging after all.

Why, did you get a peek of the gunshow during that battle? *flexs*

So apparently half of the Birch family wants to get in my Pokebelt, if you know what I mean. The battle causes me to look at May in a new light, however: perhaps she isn't so bad after all. I mean, she is obviously intelligent enough to make the choice between a sloth and a seed.

Aaaand then she leaves without so much as a "goodbye." What a bitch. Mumbling obscenities under my breath, I follow her back to the Lab.

What? Oh, she waited for me at the exit of Oldale Town! What a sweetheart-- oh, she's leaving without me again. Mixed signals, woman!

Back at the lab...

Wow, way to be supportive in front of your own child, jerk.

The Professor decides to give me an extremely expensive piece of scientific equipment in the form of a Pokedex simply because I beat his daughter's immature plant with my harbinger of death and doom. Maybe I can play along with his "Come into my Lab for Rare Candies and a Poochyena" ploy if it means I get free stuff.

And then May initiates my favorite part of any Pokemon game: giving me my first five Pokeballs.

I always get shivers at this part. I don't know why: maybe it is the prospect that, with my starter and these five Pokeballs, I have the exact tools needed to make the ultimate team. And I know just who to add to my roster first.

That's right: we're going to catch a flaming death-horse.

Okay, I'll admit it: I have no idea what I'm doing. All I know is that Let's Plays are harder to set up than I originally though and I want a flaming death-horse.

Comments and complaints and stuff are appreciated, as I want to be as entertaining as possible for you guys.