Its hard to think about you being gone like this mom, my only friend my only family I ever had.. its hard to know you and I can never meet again. Its so hard for me to go on without you mom, I cry everyday since I found you were gone for good...

Its hard to think about I can never hug you.. I can never hear you say those sweet words "I love you Randell" I can never hear your sweet voice ever again...

I just want to give up.... I have noting anymore.. you were it mom, you where why I even got up in the mornings, why I work so damn hard. now I have noting... I just want to end it once and for all..

I'm so sick of being so sweet and loving, and everyone around me treats me like shit... and like I'm not even there... everyone does it to me..... I'm sick of being alone mom and I'm sick of not having you anymore mom.

Some days I wish I never made that promise to you.. because I could have ended my pain.. and been with you again..

I love you mom...