I've been having a lot of personal conflict recently on the subject of college. Namely on the fact that I have not been motivated at all. Now, obviously I need to find some way to motivate myself right? well...I've been thinking about it and here's where I'm at right about now.

I genuinely don't care about school right now. I'm not unmotivated because I'm lazy...it's because my ambition isn't there. Now...hear me out on this. It's not that I don't have life goals. I do, very much so. The thing is...my life goals are for when i'm 30, 40. in fact. it's probably inappropriate to call them life goals so much as I should call them, middle to end of life goals. The nice house, Running my own funeral home, getting married, having a kid or 2. These are indeed 'Goals' that I have, that a college degree could certainly expedite.

However, these goals are future goals, They're things I want...but...not right now. Not even close to right now. I'm 19...I don't even want to be thinking about any of that stuff right now, and that fact alone, that I am so distanced from these goals at the present time, means that my ability to push myself in college, my drive, is next to non-existent.

Now dear reader, whoever you are. I would like to make sure it is understood that I have no intention of giving up on school, I merely have come to the conclusion that at present it would be a waste of money to fiddle around full time on something that can't even occupy an eighth of my mind right now. That being said, I intend to take a break for a semester and a summer to attempt to do something that....I think i've always wanted to do, but never felt I could.

I want to go on an adventure. I want to pick a place, preferably someplace outside, the Appalachian Trail maybe? or perhaps the Camina Inca in Peru. I don't know why exactly, but...For some reason, that is the kind of life goal i'm at. A young life goal. I need to just go out and do something. Have my own little independent adventure, at least for now. Until I have myself better sorted.

Thanks for reading if you cared to.

This has been a little blurb about nothing of any importance to you, brought to you by Blackcat.