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Doctor XFizzle

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  3. Doctor XFizzle
    Here's a grimdark Pokemon fanfic idea. Like it can get too real and uncomfortable it the envelope gets pushed.
     
    A child abductor (or pedophile for major grimdarkness) travels around Kalos with his Hypno and Drifloon luring children into a trap and/or hypnotizing them to sleep. One day, the abductor comes across a young boy about 7/8 years old who wandered away from his parents. First the boy notices Drifloon and thinks its a wild one. He goes up to it and grabs on thinking its harmless when suddenly Drifloon jolts him forward and tries to take off with him. After the boy resists and breaks away from Drifloon, Hypno jumps out of the bushes with its hypnosis ready to overtake him. Right as the boy is about to go unconscious, a wild Poochyena charges in and attacks Hypno. Poochyena and Hypno fight and Drifloon tries to help. Right before Poochyena is about to be double teamed and defeated, an abandoned Umbreon jumps in to fend off Hypno and Drifloon. The Abductor emerges with a whip in an attempt to tame the Umbreon. Umbreon uses Agility and then rips off a powerful Dark Pulse attack to torture the abductor's mind. Poochyena recovers to Bite Drifloon and Hypno all up and down. With the Abductor, Drifloon, and Hypno reeling from the battle, Umbreon gives off one more Dark Pulse to knock them out. Finally, the commotion catches the attention of the boy's parents and a policeman who arrests the Abductor. Despite not having any pokeballs or badges, the boy gains the friendship of Poochyena and Umbreon and they become his pokemon. He grows up to become a skilled Dark pokemon trainer in honor of the type of pokemon who saved his life with his heroes Mightyena (evolved Poochyena) and Umbreon leading his team.
     
    See it turns out happy.
  4. Doctor XFizzle
    Here are things I like about the number 7 or things involving the number 7
     
    7 deadly sins - are they really that deadly? No. They do however provide some sick concepts when it comes to incorporating them into stories and movies and things like that. I never saw the movie Seven though.
     
    7 evil exs from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World - great movie and cool concept in the comic/movie.
     
    lucky 7 - since 7 is lucky, that's cool.
     
    July - the 7th month of the year, also my birth month!
     
    the letter G - the 7th letter of the alphabet, also the first letter of my last name! =O >__>
     
    1997 - an awesome year because Michigan won the National Championship in college football and the Detroit Red Wings won the Stanley Cup. I was also 8 and playing Pokemon. Good times.
  5. Doctor XFizzle
    ...according to what I learned tonight in my Intellectual Property/Public Domain class!
     
    Fan-created works are in violation of a copyright holder's right to derivative works. Derivative works include several forms of adaptations, like how a popular book gets a movie made out of it.
     
    Thing is, franchises with fanatic fans (like Star Wars) typically don't do anything about it because they would alienate their largest supporters and thus lose tons of money.
     
    So Fighting is Magic got taken down by the Hasbro machine mostly due to it being an unlicensed derivative work using copyrighted characters. Hasbro can go after all the fanfic writers too, but choose not to, yet had enough reason to go after Fighting is Magic I guess.
     
    So uh yeah. Fancy that stuff.
  6. Doctor XFizzle
    WWE Royal Rumble is this Sunday, live from Pittsburgh, PA. Royal Rumble is one of the most, if not THE most exciting match in all of wrestling. 30 men enter, only 1 survives for a guaranteed WWE World Heavyweight Championship title match at Wrestlemania.
     
    I usually celebrate this week by going back and watching old Rumble matches. Here's a list of my top 5 favorite Rumbles.
     
    5. 2011 Royal Rumble
    This Rumble had some awesome surprise returns like Booker T and Diesel and had a very exciting finish in Santino Marella reviving and getting back in the match after Alberto Del Rio thought he had won.
     
    4. 2008 Royal Rumble
    This Rumble had some legends, some big names, and a huge surprise return. As much as I don't care very much for John Cena, his return as entrant #30 even made me bug out like O_O. Everyone thought he wasn't going to be back until after Wrestlemania. Undertaker and Shawn Michaels were #1 and #2 and fought hard.
     
    3. 2004 Royal Rumble
    My first Rumble I was a fan for. Chris Benoit starting #1 and winning the match was crazy. We also got The Undertaker psyching out Kane with the bell gong, Mick Foley assaulting Test backstage to take his spot to ambush Randy Orton, Goldberg being F-5'd by an interfering Brock Lesnar. The storyline interactions of this Rumble made it great.
     
    2. 2005 Royal Rumble
    The coolest parts about this one was the early Raw vs. Smackdown stand-off until Muhammad Hassan came in and everyone banded together to beat the snot out of him lol. Paul London got clothesline'd to hell and back off the apron. The finale was very memorable as John Cena and Batista landed out at the same time, causing a do-over and causing Vince McMahon to blow out both his legs trying to get into the ring.
     
    1. 2001 Royal Rumble
    Best Rumble still to this day helped greatly by the massive amount of weapons used. Kane setting the single Rumble elimination record with 11 was sweet. This was the Attitude Era at its best and was a fun Rumble all around from the actual action in the ring to the storyline implications through it too.
     
    Honorable Mention: 2007 Royal Rumble - epic Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels finale, 2013 Royal Rumble - Goldust, Godfather, and Jericho surprise returns, first Rumble my favorite Antonio Cesaro was a part of.
  7. Doctor XFizzle
    let's have another Kanto/Johto remake using the latest 3DS X/Y graphics and such.
     
    But this time make it super hard.
     
    Like each gym leader gets a mega evo and a legendary hard.
     
    Brock - Mega Aerodactyl, Regirock
    Misty - Mega Blastoise, Kyogre
    Lt. Surge - Mega Ampharos, Zapdos
    Erika - Mega Venusaur, Celebi
    Sabrina - Mega Alakazam, Deoxys
    Koga - Mega Gengar, Darkrai
    Blaine - Mega Charizard Y, Moltres
    Giovanni - Mega Aggron, Groudon
     
    Falkner - Mega Gyarados, Lugia
    Bugsy - Mega Scizor, Genesect
    Whitney - Mega Kangaskhan, Meloetta
    Morty - Mega Banette, Giratina
    Chuck - Mega Medicham, Terrakion
    Jasmine - Mega Mawile, Registeel
    Pryce - Mega Abomasnow, Articuno
    Clair - Mega Garchomp, Palkia
  8. Doctor XFizzle
    Hey everyone, good to be back and good to see MLP Forums up and running again. Man, a lot changed during the outage.
     
    - I graduated with a Ph.D. in business
    - I got married to an awesome woman
    - We have two kids now, both are about to begin school
    - I bought a new house
    - I got promoted at my job
    - the Detroit Lions still didn't win a Super Bowl
     
     
    So yeah, kinda bummed I couldn't share all this great stuff with the forums as it happened. Oh well. Hope everyone experienced similar life growth during the outage like I did.
     
     
     
  9. Doctor XFizzle
    A lesson?!? That's a lame gift. I'd rather have socks and underwear.
     
    Nah, I just have a story to share that I hope will help others learn from the mistakes I made.
     
    On August 17, 2013 I suffered a heart attack.
     
    Yep, read that right, a heart attack. I'm 24 years old. I'm not going to go into the specifics of what happened but here's the main message I want to share:
     
    Don't ever believe that you're too young to experience major health issues. I can guess that I got my heart attack from terrible eating habits, pounding down energy drinks on the daily back in college, and just plain not taking care of my body. Family history plays an important role too, but the message remains the same. Do not take your health for granted. You might think that you can get away with eating poorly because you're young and you've got time to work it out and change but I wouldn't risk it.
     
    Sorry if its a downer of a message but I wish that none of you will have to experience surgery and angioplasty like I did, or worst of all, scaring the ever living daylights out of your loving parents.
     
    - Doctor XFizzle
  10. Doctor XFizzle
    I posted this in a thread, but I felt it is important enough to share on my blog. I understand that a majority of the users on here are younger than me and value socializing and interaction more than I do, so here's a tip if you're a youngin' and are feeling down on how you're interacting around here.
     
     
    Source: How do you feel when no one replies to your status updates?
  11. Doctor XFizzle
    This was posted in an old dream thread but this one is so cool I wanted to post it again
     
     
     
    In my dream, I was back in the 1980s at some school gym for a comic book convention. I had with me a whole bunch of MLP:FiM generation 4 stuff. I was in line for an autograph table when it was my turn to walk up. Before getting my stuff signed, a teenage girl saw my stuff and started talking to me, and since it was the 80s she had like big poofy hair and neon colored clothes. She says something like "Hey, you like My Little Pony? I didn't know guys were into that." I was a little bashful and said something like "Yeah, I don't try to go by what society tells me what to like. There's a bunch of guys I know who are into it too."
     
    Instead of being all freaked out she's like "Oh that's really cool. It's nice to see you express yourself like that." We talked a little bit more and by this time I had to get going for some reason so I asked the girl "Hey, since I gotta go now, would you like to sign my stuff?" She agreed and signed it. I rushed off and when I looked at the signature it read "Lauren Faust."
     
     
     
    So you're welcome bronies. I inspired Lauren Faust as a teenager in my dream world.
  12. Doctor XFizzle
    Tonight was a gift from the Fantasy Football gods as my team was spared a humiliating collapse and defeat thanks to the Immaculate Affliction suffered by Aaron Rodgers.
     
    At the end of the 4:30 games last night, I had a commanding 45 point lead and I thought I would stroll to a win. My team was all done for the week and my opponent just had T.Y. Hilton and Aaron Rodgers left. I assumed Hilton would get around 10 points in the Sunday night game, meaning Aaron Rodgers would have to get around 35 tonight, which is not out of the realm of possibility, was still a tall order.
     
    But T.Y. Hilton and the Indianapolis Colts had other plans.
     
    The Colts put on a full air raid against the Houston Texans last night, coming back to win 27-24. T.Y. Hilton had about 140 yards and 3 TDs. My original approximation of 10 points for him turned out to be 37. Aww hell naw. My once comfortable lead from 45 points shriveled down to 8. I thought I was done for. Aaron Rodgers could easily get 8 points in his sleep on the first play of the game if he wanted to. I was ready to break plenty of items in my room last night as T.Y. Hilton hauled in his 3rd touchdown.
     
    Then destiny intervened.
     
    Only a handful of plays into the game, Chicago Bears' Shea McClelland got loose and took Rodgers down to the ground, landing on Rodgers' shoulder. Rodgers would then leave the game in the 1st quarter, after only acquiring 2 points. I had won. I had held on to my 6 point lead that was perilously dangling over a shark tank inside a lion's den. I looked up to the heavens and shouted out loud words of praise to the Fantasy Football gods for the gift they bestowed upon me.
     

  14. Doctor XFizzle
    Alright, a quick story to entertain your Wednesday night.
     
    So this was back in college, like 4 years ago, my sophomore year. Me and my 7 friends take a bus out to the movie theatre about 15 miles away. It was a Sunday, January afternoon so it was snowing. We take the bus out and see Quantum of Solace. Well, no one checked to see what time the buses stopped, and sure enough there were no buses heading back to campus. So we go across the street to a restaurant and ask to use their phone to call some cabs. Well a nice couple overheard our situation and offered to take us all back in their SUV.
     
    So 4 of us cram in the backseat and 3 in the trunk and on the way back we were thanking them and stuff. The husband goes, I'm a fire chief for the school so repay me by always obey the fire alarms and following proper procedure. So we're like sure alright.
     
    We get back to school and we all spill out of the SUV. Before we go back to our dorms, the guy comes up and says "Nevermind, I changed my mind." We all looked at each other like ?_?.
     
    He comes over to me, puts his hand on my shoulder and whispers softly,
     
    "I need about three fiddy."
     
    IT WAS THE LOCH NESS MONSTER! So I jumped back and yelled NAW I AIN'T GIVING YOU THREE FIDDY YOU GOD DAMN LOCH NESS MONSTER! He grumbled then disappeared into the fog.
     
     
     
     
    okay the real ending is that he told us to obey the fire alarms because that night was the annual South Quad-West Quad snowball fight at 1 am so he knew it was coming. They were nice to take us back to school and it was a fun experience.
  15. Doctor XFizzle
    - When MLP Forums raised $400 and a copy of Sonic Colors for the BC Children's Hospital the first Christmas since the site's inception
     
    - When MLP Forums had it's own image gallery users can upload their art onto that no one ever really used or saw, thus being terminated in favor of the DeviantART group
     
    - When MLP Forums had a chatroom
     
    - When MLP Forums had a 20 user limit for the chatroom
     
    - When MLP Forums took a nuclear missile to the chatroom for endless spam and messy flame wars
     
    - When MLP Forums was overly excited for user #300 which was Nico
     
    - When MLP Forums named Zoop as its first moderator
     
    - When MLP Forums had its first user reach "Brony" status which was FinestHour
     
    - When MLP Forums suffered and had minimal usage for three weeks due to a DDoS attack
     
    - When MLP Forums saw its other co-founder Kurtiss leave
     
    - When MLP Forums became the best pony forum site with great members, great staff, and a great leader in Doctor XFizzle.....oh and that Feld0 guy too
     
    Pepperidge Farm remembers
     
    *pelvic thrust*
  16. Doctor XFizzle
    Since I have Las Vegas on the brain after playing some online slot machines (free, not for real money, I'm not that much of a gambling addict. In fact, wanna bet I've never gambled online?) I'm going to match ponies to the many Las Vegas casino/hotels on The Strip.
     
    Going north to south on the east side of the strip we have...
     
    Wynn Las Vegas/Encore = Hoity Toity
    Wynn is classy, but modern classy. It also has many designer clothing stores inside it so that fits Hoity Toity.
     
    The Palazzo/The Venetian = Princess Mi Amore Cadenza (Princess Cadence)
    Her full name is Italian and these hotels are based off Italian stuff
     
    Harrah's = Pinkie Pie
    This Mardi Gras themed casino has a festive atmosphere including the Carnival Court where live music is played into late hours in the night, often annoying older patrons like my parents
     
    The Quad (the former Imperial Palace) = Derpy Hooves
    Only because they're currently undergoing big renovations and Derpy is known to break stuff.
     
    Flamingo = Fluttershy
    One of the first casinos ever and an ageless classic. It was once owned by mobsters. Yeah. His name was Bugsy. It has its own animal preserve thingy with tons of flamingos. Go figure.
     
    Bill's Gamblin' Hall = Braeburn
    It has a Western saloon name and feel to it.
     
    Bally's = Applejack
    It's just there. Nothin' special. Sorry Applejack fans.
     
    Paris = Fleur-de-Lis
    Fancy Pants' lady friend is French and Paris is a city in France and this hotel has an Eiffel Tower replica. It's only 1:4 scale when they originally wanted it to be 1:2 but the nearby McCarran Airport said NO.
     
    Planet Hollywood = Sapphire Shores/Photo Finish
    Originally the Aladdin, Planet Hollywood has a younger, movie studio feel to it.
     
    MGM Grand = Twilight Sparkle
    Possibly the most widely recognized casino/hotel in Las Vegas and Twilight is the main character so yeah. It's big and green and hosts a lot of boxing and UFC events. Wait that doesn't describe Twilight much at all.
     
    Tropicana = Trixie
    Nah no connection at all. Move along.
     
    West side of The Strip going south to north
     
    Mandalay Bay = Octavia
    I got nothing. It's kinda fancy.
     
    Luxor = the two Saddle Arabia delegates Celestia hosted
    Meh Egypt is close to Saudi Arabia.
     
    Excalibur = Shining Armor
    This one writes itself. He's a knight, Excalibur is a sword and the hotel is a giant castle.
     
    New York-New York = Babs Seed
    She comes from Manehattan and New York-New York is based off of Manhattan.
     
    Monte Carlo = Jet Set & Upper Crust
    Those snooty Canterlot ponies probably would enjoy Monte Carlo which is based off of the real Monte Carlo
     
    Aria = Princess Luna/King Sombra
    This is a newer hotel/casino that is part of CityCenter which looks like a giant futuristic skyscraper thing. I included Sombra because there's a mall in there called Crystals. CRYSTALSSSSS
     
    The Cosmopolitan = Rarity
    Cosmo is the newest hotel and is very cosmopolitan which Rarity would probably enjoy.
     
    Bellagio = Fancy Pants
    Classy hotel is for classy people and Fancy Pants personifies class. This was the casino used to film Ocean's 11.
     
    Caesars Palace = Princess Celestia
    All hail Caesar, I mean Celestia. This may also be the most widely recognized hotel next to MGM Grand
     
    The Mirage = Spitfire
    There's a giant volcano outside it that spits hot fire (ehh? ehh?). And all its windows are covered in some golden film so it looks like its on fire.
     
    Treasure Island = Pipsqueak
    Pirate themed place. Too bad Pipsqueak would be too young anyways.
     
    Circus Circus = Spike
    It's more of a kid-themed casino which makes no god damn sense since this is Vegas. It has an amusement park inside and a museum dedicated to Chuck Jones the cartoonist.
     
    Stratosphere = Soarin
    Meh, all it has is a big needle tower with a roller coaster wrapped around the top.
     
    Off-Strip
     
    Palms = Vinyl Scratch
    The Palms is home to a younger crowd and it is the home of DJ Pauly D. He's the in-house DJ. There used to be a Playboy Club there too. Also has the Pearl Theatre which holds concerts from the mainstream artists.
     
    Rio = Rainbow Dash
    Rio is very colorful and so is Dash. They just installed a zip-line that goes from the top of their new tower to the top of their older, lower tower.
  17. Doctor XFizzle
    This isn't directed at anyone in particular nor towards the members of this forum. This is just a general statement about the fandom.
     
    I'm going to call out the brony community for a bit. I'm feeling there's been a large sense of entitlement from the fanbase since season 3 began. As more merchandise and episodes started becoming more brony-pleasing, the fanbase has become brats and have wanted more. This latest alicorn Twilight drama, Fighting is Magic drama, and now Equestria Girls drama has really exposed the whiny side of bronies.
     
    The show's writers and Hasbro don't owe you anything. Originally they didn't ask for this unexpected source of followers. They've done their part to change course and acknowledge brony presence and I bet they're going to start regretting it if this drama keeps going. By looking at Twitter, it seems like show writers like M.A. Larson, Meghan McCarthy, and I forget the third writer for the moment, are actively making small jokes and quips about the drama because of how ridiculous it's getting.
     
    You can dislike change and disagree with the direction of the franchise, but don't rage and get angry over a cartoon. You have much more urgent aspects in your lives to focus on and get angry about. Wait and see what becomes of these ideas before automatically crapping on it. That makes you no different than the haters who have mocked bronies before checking out the show themselves.
     
    I may be speaking about a vocal minority as I have seen rational people comment positively and are anticipating the upcoming things, but that vocal minority is too vocal and are setting a poor reputation for the rest of us. Recent events have made me shake my head to the point where I might have a concussion because of the stupid drama and the incessant crying from entitled bronies. Grow up and be thankful the show is even going to have a 4th season.
  18. Doctor XFizzle
    Well it's been over a month since Muse's 6th studio album The 2nd Law was released. Here's my rundown of my track rankings.
     
    Incomplete. Save Me
    Incomplete. Liquid State
    Incomplete. Explorers
     
    Haven't really spent too much time listening to the songs Chris Wolstenholme (bassist) sings on this album. Didn't really get into Save Me. Liquid State is better than Save Me but it's okay. Chris' voice reminds me of Dave Grohl's a little bit, especially on Liquid State. These songs were written by Chris about fighting his alcohol addiction and I have nothing but props and respect for that. Just these two songs weren't my cup of tea.
     
    Wow can't believe I left out explorers. I didn't have it in my giant Muse playlist for some reason.
     
    9. The 2nd Law: Unsustainable
     
    Snobby Muse fan here. While innovative and unique to Muse, I don't particularly enjoy the dubstep in this. Yeah it's not technically dubstep because it's Matt Bellamy shredding on his guitar to make the hard, grindy noises but meh.
     
    8. Animals
     
    Animals is an okay song with decent lyrics that paint a little story but it's a little too subdued (until the end) for my tastes. Reminds me of Ruled by Secrecy from Absolution a little bit in both sound (building up to a dramatic ending) and writing.
     
    7. Survival
     
    It's probably because I played the heck out of this song when it came out as a single before the Olympics that it's placed so low lol. It was the first new song Muse had put out since Neutron Star Collision (I think) so I ate it up. It certainly fit the Olympic spirit well with that driving beat. This is probably an unfair rank because I made myself sick of it before the album even came out.
     
    6. Follow Me
     
    This song is pretty good and this one did a tiny bit of dubstep right unlike T2L:U. The chorus sounds dope. This song was written by Matt like he was talking to his newborn son (btw, mommy is Kate Hudson). I love songs that feature Matt's strong voice where he just belts out a verse or more.
     
    5. The 2nd Law: Isolated System
     
    I'm not the biggest fan of instrumental songs, but this one is just too beautiful to disregard. There's a little bit of voiceover from a newsanchor lady explaining what the 2nd Law is, but the music becomes so elegant through and after that. It's like something I would expect from Fantasia.
     
    4. Supremacy
     
    This has James Bond theme written all over it. People were guessing like "omg is this Skyfall's theme?" until Adele came away with the actual theme. The grungy guitar riff in the beginning is so boss then it goes into the Bond-esque brass. Muse laughs at YOUR SUUUUUUUUPREMAAAACYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
     
    3. Panic Station
     
    Panic Station is a fun song. Kinda starts off sounding a little RHCP-ish which is all cool in my book. Fun fact, this is the first and only album song Matt sings a no-no word in. When I first heard it I did a double take like "Wait, did I hear right?" but that's only because I wasn't expecting it. Matt goes into his notorious falsetto voice a bit for this one and is great as expected.
     
    2. Madness
     
    I love Madness. Loved it the very first time I heard it when it was released as a single back in late August. It's soft but has that pulsating buzz about it that makes you feel like you're getting a massage from your speakers or something. Once again, this song features Matt belting out a long, solid verse towards the end. Love the little three part harmony sections where different pitches of Matt's voice come together as one. Ma-ma-ma-ma-mad good is what I say.
     
    1. Big Freeze
     
    Big Freeze is my favorite song of the whole album. Whenever I kick start my iTunes playlist this is the first song I go to. The chorus gives me chills because - you guessed it - Matt takes his strong voice and just owns it. The lyrics are cute too. Can't wait to hear this one live so I can howl the chorus too.
     
    Overall, while it is a hefty departure from their usual sound (which was by design) this is another great album by one of the most talented bands of its era. I give The 2nd Law a 8/10.
  19. Doctor XFizzle
    In 60 years from now when most of us are old, wrinkly, and sleeping every time we stop moving, will we be listening to the music we grew up with?
     
    What I'm saying is, imagine right now you're at your grandparents' house and your grandma or grandpa walks over to turn the stereo on for some music and this is what booms from the speakers:

     
    That will be us. Old and in our 70's head bopping to Em, Dre, Flo Rida, T-Pain, Nelly or headbanging to Rage Against the Machine, System of a Down or dancing to LMFAO, PSY, deadmau5, etc and so on.
     
    Hard to imagine right? Well it will most likely be the case. Who knows how the music industry will look 50-60 years from now, but one thing's for sure, we will be getting crunk to the songs we've grew up with.
     
    We're going to be awesome old people.
  20. Doctor XFizzle
    In the back of my mind, I've always wanted to start a Detroit sports blog but I was lazy. My laziness upgraded to thoughtful procrastination the past week, and now it recovered to reach minimal action status. This blog will be used to share my thoughts and opinions (and venting and whining most likely) on Detroit sports as well as some University of Michigan and the occasional hot topic from other areas of sports. I'm being thoughtful to my Facebook friends so they will no longer be inundated by my rapid-fire statuses on game day. I say that now but when it's Saturday, October 6th and there's Michigan @ Purdue and Tigers @ Yankees in Game 2 of the ALDS, I'll run right back to Facebook to spout my mouth off. But at least I'm trying. Admittance is the first step to recovery even though the Detroit Lions are being enablers to my mental self-destructive madness, but I digress.
     
    First up on the docket are those aforementioned Detroit Lions. As you may be aware, they lost again for the third week in a row, this time to the Minnesota Vikings. The offense had the imagination of a gumball machine. I'm talking old-fashioned pop a nickel in the slot, twist, and there's your boring, tasteless gumball that's better served as drywall spackle. Not like modern machines with blinking lights and a long twisty tube that delivers your gumball, or even better, one of those clear capsules with a $5 bill folded to the size of a dime only God knows how they fit it in there. The Lions offense was chewing spackle today. Running to set up the pass is a great strategy given the Lions' personnel. Yeah, and using your ear to eat ice cream is delicious and less messy too. The Lions are a passing team. Embrace it. Be it. You have arguably the BEST receiver in the game. It should not take a 17-point deficit or the second quarter, whichever comes first, to find Megatron. I could go on but then this will turn into a diatribe with a length that would make Dostoevsky blush. I'll save both my fingers and my readers' attention spans for this first entry.
     
    Ah Lions special teams. Your performance is the equivalent of The Situation's attempt at "comedy" at the Donald Trump roast back in 2011. Everyone knew you were going to be a train wreck going into it, and you did not disappoint, but for the love of God just stand in the background and be irrelevant. Irrelevant as in we don't have to whisper your name because you're doing your job and we don't have your coach's name (Danny Crossman) trending on Twitter. Pro-tip, when a coach's name is trending on Twitter, 9 times out of 10 it is because a meltdown of some sort or an overly aggressive post-game handshake. Crossman's attempt at "special teams coaching" makes Stan Kwan look like Mike Ditka, if, you know, Mike Ditka coached special teams. If Crossman isn't sitting on the curb of the practice facility in Allen Park by week six, we might just have to onside kick every time. Can't do any worse.
     
    The defense was not that bad. Sure Adrian Peterson a.k.a. AP shredded through the defensive line, but he did not bust out a huge run nor did he score a touchdown. No Viking scored a touchdown. The defense did what they had to do to keep the Lions in the game. Bill Bentley was victimized on a couple of pass interference calls, but it wasn't because of physical inadequacy, it was because of correctable, experience deficiency. He turns his neck three degrees to get a glimpse of the ball on those plays and there would be no penalty. I won't blame the defense this week but their mettle will be tested in week six in Philadelphia for sure.
     
    I was going to talk Tigers, but this first post has gone long enough. Dammit Lions. Why do you have to be so infuriating and exhausting? I'll touch on the Tigers eventually. Maybe when they're popping champagne celebrating their OMG-It-Can't-Be-This-Bad-Can-It?-AL Comedy Central championship.
     
    Like a replacement referee after week three, I'm out.
  21. Doctor XFizzle
    If you may or may not be aware of, there is a sub-group of bronies who have shaped this world of fluffy ponies. I believe it came from 4chan or /mlp/ (or are they the same? I don't know all that stuff there). Fluffy ponies are like basic level animals with very child-like speaking and thinking.
     
    At first the art of these fluffy ponies were the most vile images imaginable. Physical abuse (beating), mental abuse (like putting food in front of a mommy and her babies then taking it away), bodily fluids, and etc. I'm sure there's still art of this being produced, but from what I've seen on Derpibooru, there has been a groundswell of positive and happy fluffy art emerging. Art where fluffy ponies are doing cute things or being taken care of properly.
     
    As for me personally, I can't even search for the first type of art I mentioned. I can't comprehend the thought processes of the artists who came up with that art. It's a little disturbing to me, kinda like they're glorifying animal abuse. I'm sure most of them aren't actually advocates of that and are just making art for the lolz, but it gives me pause.
     
    I've been looking at the positive fluffy art on Derpibooru but like I feel weird about it. It's like a train wreck and you can't look away. Maybe it's because my mind brings me back to its origins and its original art. But I don't know, it's weird.
     
    There is fluffybooru that recently? started but I haven't gone over there because I'm worried there's no filters to utilize there.
     
     
     
    What do you know of fluffy ponies and do you look at fluffy art?
  22. Doctor XFizzle
    Week 1 Straight Up Record: 9-6
    Week 1 Spread/Betting Record: 6-9
    Overall Straight up Record: 9-6
    Overall Spread/Betting Record: 6-9
     
    Aww yes here we go, week 2 of NFL football already! Can't you feel the excitement? RG3 goes off on the Saints, Jets open a can on the Bills, Niners rock the Pack at Lambeau, Ravens claw up the Bengals, Peyton Manning is BACK, and other exciting happenings from week 1.
     
    Thursday Night: Chicago @ Green Bay (-6)
    Green Bay is going to be PISSED and looking for a bounce back from their home loss to the Niners. Bears may have improved over last year but the Packers will be playing angry and will find a way to win. Taking Green Bay to win BUT Chicago I think will cover because they're rivals and rivalry games are always tough.
     
    Tampa Bay @ New York Giants (-7.5)
    Giants put up a stinker last Wednesday. They also had 4 extra days to prepare for the Bucs. Giants will win AND beat the spread.
     
    Arizona @ New England (-13.5)
    Patriots continue their dominance by shredding the Cardinals in their home opener at Foxboro. Patriots to win and beat the spread.
     
    Minnesota (-1.5) @ Indianapolis
    Colts are a home dog surprisingly because Minny isn't so great themselves. I think Andrew Luck will have a good game and Colts win thus covering the spread.
     
    New Orleans (-2.5) @ Carolina
    Saints aren't going to get embarrassed two weeks in a row. Drew Brees is a professional and will not have a repeat performance. Carolina seems to be a young team whose spirits could be broken with a second straight loss. Taking Saints to win and beat the spread.
     
    Kansas City @ Buffalo (-3)
    Buffalo still a favorite despite getting bombed by the Jets. With C.J. Spiller the #1 back, Bills might enjoy better success. I'll go back to Buffalo and pick them to win and beat the spread.
     
    Baltimore @ Philadelphia (-2.5)
    Man did Vick suck or what? Against Cleveland! And boy did the Ravens look dominant against Cincy. I get Philly is the home team but I thought Baltimore would be the favorite. That's why I'll take Ravens to win and thus cover the spread.
     
    Oakland (-2.5) @ Miami
    This has the makings of being a cripple fight. Oakland looked terrible Monday night and Miami didn't have much success themselves. That being said I think Oakland wins and beats the spread.
     
    Cleveland @ Cincinnati (-7)
    Battle of Ohio! Didn't really see either team play last week, just the scores. I think Cleveland benefited from a really bad game from Michael Vick than their own defense being strong. Cincinnati to win BUT Browns to cover.
     
    Houston (-7.5) @ Jacksonville
    Texans are going to destroy the Jaguars. Arian Foster is a beast. Houston to win and beat the spread.
     
    Dallas (-3) @ Seattle
    Dallas looked pretty decent Wednesday night in New York. I think they can handle Seattle who might be second-guessing starting Russel Wilson. Dallas to win and beat the spread.
     
    Washington (-3) @ St. Louis
    Holy man Robert Griffin III was impressive and against the Saints too. Will he make the magic happen again? Against the Rams, I think so. I'll take Redskins to win and beat the spread.
     
    New York Jets @ Pittsburgh (-6)
    Pittsburgh will shut down the Jets' offense and will recover from their SNF loss at home. Steelers to win BUT Jets will cover. It could be a low scoring game like 14-13 or something.
     
    Tennessee @ San Diego (-6)
    Titans have injury issues with Nate Washington and Jake Locker taking hits last week. San Diego was okay on MNF but not terribly impressive. Since Chargers are having their home opener and the Titans ailing, I'll take Chargers to win and beat the spread.
     
    Monday Night: Denver @ Atlanta (-3)
    Peyton Manning showed that he is back and just as good as before. Falcons had a big offensive game against the Chiefs last week as well. I feel this will be a shootout but with the Falcons coming out the winners. Falcons to win and beat the spread.
     
    Doctor XFizzle's Detroit Lions Report: Detroit @ San Francisco (-6.5)
    Sunday Night Football, Schwartz vs. Harbaugh II: The Handshake Returns (or The Schwartz Strikes Back). I can see this going either way, Niners blowing the Lions out of the water or Lions getting the upset. I think the Niners will be way over-amped for their home opener and riding the high of beating Green Bay at Lambeau in Week 1, making them ripe for a letdown. I think the Lions will shock the Niners and win, thus covering the spread.
     
    There you have it, week 2.
  23. Doctor XFizzle
    As the title states, I will be reviewing and predicting the winners of Week 1 of the NFL regular season using betting lines for each game. Let's begin.
     
     
    Indianapolis @ Chicago (-10)
    - Even though Indy is getting 10, no way Andrew Luck steps into Soldier Field and doesn't get battered. Taking Chicago to win and beat the spread.
     
    CORRECT (1-0) AND CORRECT (1-0)
     
    Philadelphia (-9) @ Cleveland
    - Cleveland is pretty bad. They're also breaking in a new QB, Brandon Weeden. Philly had a disappointing year last year. Michael Vick gets banged up a lot but he and the Eagles should be ready to go. Taking Philly to win and beat the spread.
     
    CORRECT (2-0) AND INCORRECT (1-1)
     
    Buffalo @ New York Jets (-3)
    - Jets are not going to be very good. They have 2 QBs who can't throw worth a lick. That defense can't be holding up well either. Buffalo could be a playoff team this year. Their defense should be decent enough. Taking Buffalo to win.
     
    INCORRECT (2-1) AND INCORRECT (1-2)
     
    Washington @ New Orleans (-7.5)
    - Another rookie QB debuting in Robert Griffin III for the Skins. Saints are missing their head coach thanks to BountyGate but they still have way more weapons on offense than Washington. Saints will take on the NFL in retaliation to the scandal. Taking Saints to win beat the spread.
     
    INCORRECT (2-2) AND INCORRECT (1-3)
     
    New England (-5) @ Tennessee
    - God Brady and the Pats go into Tennessee and destroy the Titans defense with the Gronkowski-Hernandez-Welker-Lloyd four-headed receiving monster. Taking New England to win and beat the spread.
     
    CORRECT (3-2) AND CORRECT (2-3)
     
    Jacksonville @ Minnesota (-3.5)
    - Both teams might not even have their top featured RB starting. Maurice Jones-Drew ended his holdout with the Jaguars but has hardly practiced while Adrian Peterson is still dealing with his injury from last year. This game will essentially be a cripple fight so I'll take Minnesota to win and barely beat the spread. Like they win by 4.
     
    CORRECT (4-2) AND INCORRECT (2-4)
     
    Miami @ Houston (-12.5)
    - Dang that's a large spread. Houston was a playoff team last year returning its starting QB Matt Schaub from a season-ending injury and they have the top fantasy RB in Arian Foster. Miami is starting a rookie QB in Ryan Tannehill and don't really have much else going for them. Taking Houston to win BUT Miami to cover the spread.
     
    CORRECT (5-2) AND INCORRECT (2-5)
     
    Atlanta (-2.5) @ Kansas City
    - Easy peasy Falcons run over the Chiefs squeasy. Chiefs will be improved but not this week. Matty Ice unleashes Roddy White and Julio Jones on the Chiefs' decent secondary. Taking Atlanta to win and beat the spread.
     
    CORRECT (6-2) AND CORRECT (3-5)
     
    San Francisco @ Green Bay (-4.5)
    - Week 1 Game of the Week right here. 49ers out to prove last year was no fluke while the Packers do the same that they are better than the Divisional Round. I like Green Bay to win BUT 49ers to cover.
     
    INCORRECT (6-3) AND CORRECT (4-5)
     
    Carolina (-2.5) @ Tampa Bay
    - NFC South divisional matchup to kick off the season. Cam Newton looks to repeat his awesome rookie year for the Panthers while the Bucs look to not repeat their mediocre season last year. I'm taking Carolina to win and beat the spread.
     
    INCORRECT (6-4) AND INCORRECT (4-6)
     
    Seattle (-2.5) @ Arizona
    - NFC West divisional matchup here. Seattle boasts a good defense but how will their offense look with diva Braylon Edwards in the fold? Also will it be Matt Flynn or Russel Wilson? Arizona has a QB controversy of their own between Kevin Kolb and John Skelton. Despite their QB issues, I'm going to take Arizona to win and thus cover the spread despite being home dogs.
     
    CORRECT (7-4) AND CORRECT (5-6)
     
    Pittsburgh @ Denver (-1.5)
    - The return of Peyton Manning. Denver is going to be fired up and hyped. On the other side of the field, the Steelers will be just as hyped looking to avenge their humiliating playoff defeat to Tim Tebow in last year's overtime thriller. I'll take Pittsburgh to spoil Manning's return and thus cover the spread.
     
    INCORRECT (7-5) AND INCORRECT (5-7)
     
    Cincinnati @ Baltimore (-7)
    - Monday Night Football game 1. Baltimore's defense takes a hit with Terrell Suggs being injured but they're still elite. Cincinnati had a pretty decent year for having a rookie QB and WR tandem Andy Dalton-A.J. Green starting. I think Baltimore wins here BUT Cincy covers the spread.
     
    CORRECT (8-5) AND INCORRECT (5-8)
     
    San Diego @ Oakland (-1)
    - Monday Night Football game 2. San Diego pretty much melted down last year. Norv Turner miraculously kept his job. I have no clue how the Chargers will look, especially with Ryan Mathews being his injury prone self. Oakland will have Carson Palmer in the system for more than a full year. They regain Run DMC, Darren McFadden from injury and Denarius Moore is set to have a breakout year. I see Oakland taking this one and beating the spread.
     
    INCORRECT (8-6) AND INCORRECT (6-8)
     
    St. Louis @ Detroit (-8)
    - Last but not least, my own Detroit Lions open at home against the St. Louis Rams. Stafford-to-Megatron all day baby. Rams won't have the defense to stop us nor the offense to keep up with us. Lions spoil Jeff Fisher's return to the NFL as a coach. Taking the Lions to win and beat the spread.
     
    CORRECT (9-6) AND INCORRECT (6-9)
     
    There you have it, my week 1 selections. May the football begin and be glorious.
     
    RESULTS UPDATE: So I ended up 9-6 in picking the winning team but only 6-9 when it came to the spread. Maybe I shouldn't bet on football at all.
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