Malao

Granted. So are the sharks. I wish for infinite nachos.

Granted. It's a dead pony. I wish I could do a proper derp.

Granted, but it creates a singularity. I wish that wish made sense.

Granted, but it's a shit beer. I wish I could kill a yak from 200 yards away. WITH MIND BULLETS!

Granted, but you die in a horrible training accident. I wish I was immortal.

Granted, but it's corrupted in a way that somehow benefits you as well as hurts you. I wish I had better grades.

No idea. "Folks, would you like a milkshake? Chocolate or Vanilla? We have everything you want and a fountain of sasparilla."

I am surprised at the lack of bad puns seen here.

oK. We're pretty far in now.

I do a pretty OK low singing voice. Not quite sure if it's Tenor or Bass, but i'll go ahead and volunteer.

I believe we need to start Again...

<ooc> I made an ask page for my OC, because narcissism. </ooc> Alright. Here I am, at my desk. I've got a line of ponies coming to witness my glory. Ask me questions, mortals! Expect some answers involving fire. Fire solves EVERYTHING. Except maybe floods. It doesn't stop floods. Regardless, i'd be happy to answer all of your meaningless questions. Man, the buttons on this thing are small. -Sunburst

F*ckin A guys. Can we just get this over with?