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Yamato

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  2. Yamato

    FDR: American Badass

    By Yamato,

    Allow me to begin with a little nugget of information on this movie. It's only listed quote on IMDB is Abraham Lincoln saying "Emancipate that ass." That should give you some kind of idea on what manner of movie we're talking about here. This is most definitely the kind of movie that should come with a disclaimer that reads "WARNING: Smoke a joint before viewing".
     
    This movie was simultaneously one of the stupidest and most brilliant films I have ever seen. The Netflix description reads "After contracting polio from a werewolf bite, FDR and a team of historic figures seek victory in World War II by defeating an army of Nazi werewolves," and honestly, I can't think of any better summation. That sentence alone is entertaining, much less an entire movie on the subject. I was absolutely rolling through the entirety of it.
     
    The film was purposefully made to appear incredibly low budget. Crappy digital effects, silly creature makeup (the werewolves looked like low budget Wookies), and "low-budget" props (I'm fairly certain those "rocket launchers" were made of PVC pipe) all added into a movie that was filmed nearly entirely on an indoor set make for a very silly feel to the whole durned thing. That was the key right there, that they did it in a way that was silly, not stupid like "Nazis at the Center of the Earth".
     
    The film's sense of humor was abrasive and offensive,, which is why I liked it so much. Casual racism, casual sexism, nonchalant adultery, presidents smoking joints... All of this done in a way that no one could possibly take offense to. This movie is fucking magical.
     
    To be truthful with you, this is the kind of movie that cannot be adequately verbally reviewed. It's a must watch. It has firmly lodged itself into my "favorite movies" list, and it seems to be in no fear of going anywhere.
  3. Yamato
    Alright, so initially I was going to kick this off with "Iron Sky", but I didn't want to have to remember this particular movie any longer than I had to. I'm gonna go ahead and say that this was the worst film I have ever tried to sit through. I say "tried" because I finally put an end to it after an hour of torture. For me to stop a movie midway through really says something about the movie.
     
    Now, where do I start? How about this? This movie takes itself far too seriously. Come on, people! This is a film about Nazis (if we wanna get specific, Dr. Mengele and his buds) living in an enormous subterranean cavern underneath Antarctica. How can you POSSIBLY try to make that a serious film?! I believe that this movie would have been much more enjoyable if it had simply taken itself as lightly as "Iron Sky" or "Sharknado".
     
    My next complaint about this movie stems from some of the props used. I don't care what kind of movie you're making or what your budget is, but you do NOT use Nerf guns as props in your movies! Even if they're modified and repainted! There is ALWAYS a better alternative. Seriously, the Nerf "Raider" and "Maverick" made several appearances throughout the movie. I don't understand why they were there! A man standing next to one of the dudes with a "Raider" was holding a decked out P90 SMG (which I do believe was recycled several times throughout the film). So let me get this straight, instead of purchasing cheap, but believable armament for the whole cast, you blew it all on a single P90 and borrowed your kids' Nerf guns? The fuck, man?
     
    On top of that, most of the acting was simply terrible. A couple of people seemed to know what they were doing, but I often felt like I was watching a really shitty high school video project.
     
    What this all adds up to is a movie that is unbelievably terrible, and not even in an endearing way. This is a movie that has gone beyond the point of "so bad it's good". I was not even slightly entertained throughout the 56 minutes of my life I wasted watching it. Avoid this one like it's the plague. Trust me.
     
    OVERALL RATING:
     
    absolute shit/10
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