Envy

I have times where I do a lot, but then I have times where I do not much. The latter is where I'm at right now. My sleep as of late has been mediocre and I want to get back to better sleeping. Unfortunately now my body is waking up around 6 am no matter whether I want to or not so I either have to go to bed earlier or I don't get enough sleep. =/

We rented some kind of Nissan on my trip late last year and I really liked it! It was one of those small cars. I don't know the word for them, but you know equivalent to a Honda Accord or Civic (which is the kinds of cars my family have had typically and they're great, too!). I think it would be neat to have one of those! But "dream" car is kinda over the top, I don't really have a dream car, cars are just cars to me. lol. Probably will end up buying electric when I buy my first car, anyway.

A bowl of corn flakes for breakfast.

In the short term, I'm feeling okay. Sleepy.

But in thinking more broadly, I'm nervouscited (nervous + excited) about my move that is planned for next month. And also feeling a bit mixed about the reality of me going back to college, but not for music anymore. My heart aches. I will always love music, but the "me" that went to college for that was stuck in a trauma bubble and didn't think about the future. It's hard to cope with.

Same as my last post -  floral blouse, black capris, sandals. LOL. Different floral blouse, though. One I like a little bit more than the one last week.

On 2024-04-10 at 10:14 PM, DubWolf said:

Can we see ?

No pictures of me in that outfit were taken. I don't take pictures of myself often at all.

And no I won't post a picture here. I don't want to shatter everyone's device's screens.

If I could I would get these aspects from my past self back:

- The physical health of myself from high school or before.

- The bubbly, chatty version of myself from the mid 2000s and before. I masked that in high school and that mask has been "on" for so long now after getting hurt and called "annoying" so many times in high school.

- My passion for music from 2016.

I'm not, by any means, any kind of well-adjusted individual or anything (I mean, I'm here on these forums and have been for TWELVE YEARS! ), but I can't say that I have an imaginary friend or have ever had one in my recalling.

Nice, cool overcast with some rain today. Unfortunately the hot weather is coming back immediately like a steamroller.

Floral blouse, black capris, sandals.

Working, it wasn't too long after I began my shift.

Space is neat and I'd love to see it/experience it... At the same time, I'm scared even getting on an airplane. Lol. The risks with space travel are astronomically (pun not intended xD) higher, and I think it'd be a straight-up bizarre experience to be separated from the earth for so long. I watch some Sci-Fi shows and while they're not realistic at all, one thing that is realistic about them is long amounts of time in space where you don't have day and night, seasons, etc. Like they'll mention it's November, but... it's no different at all, just another arbitrary month, whereas on Earth you have the changes of the seasons, which have always been an important experience for me.

In short: Nah, probably not.

FFXII The Zodiac Age. I haven't played too many FF games (aside from XIV and VII Remake), so I'm exploring the rest of series now (or at least the 3D entries.).

I distinctly remember at one stage (probably age 7 or so) I was fascinated with cats and wanted to be one. I don't know that I ever "pretended" necessarily aside from in my mind, and when playing with other kids I would like to take the role of cat if we were playing animals.

Technically, when I was super young, as I played with G1s. However, I didn't really continue playing with them as I got older and kinda forgot about them until the mid 2000s when I joined a forum with a member who had a G3 MLP for her username and avatar.

G4/FiM I was introduced to in early 2011 because I was on some general cartoon forums that began talking about the show.

Hm... I would say a fox or wolf, as I find them to be really neat. However, they're carnivorous, and while I'm no vegetarian/vegan, there's a large difference between the processed meat that I get a long distance from the killing as a human versus having to do the killing myself and eating raw meat.

I'd say a bird. But they eat bugs.... Ewwwwww. No. (unless I could be the kind that just eats seeds, like domesticated parrots)

Maybe a deer. A domesticated animal like a dog might be nice.

David Tennant is likely to always be my top favorite. I also really liked Jodie Whittaker. It's a shame that she's brought down for many by the writing, but her acting as the Doctor was fantastic. She's my second favorite only to Tennant for sure!

At this point and time my wardrobe is varied in color. If there's any tendency, it's probably toward magenta as that is my favorite color. There's also some seasonal, as I wear more browns, reds, and oranges during fall and winter. Whereas during Spring and Summer I might throw in some greens.

In many ways I am still like a teenager. Long story short, traumatic happenings and trauma caused me to retreat in my late teens, blah blah blah. I could tell it all but... I need to stop my oversharing habit. xD In my adulthood I have been largely insulated and not forced to adult in many ways, allowing for me to remain in that retreated state for many, many years.

I wish I were saying this to be quirky, but nah, it kinda sucks. Really sucks "waking up" after so many years and realizing "Hey! I'm an adult and I need to learn how to adult" in my mid 30s. o.O

Southeast Canada. If I felt like the USA was guaranteed to remain a peaceful, stable, free country for the rest of my life, then I'd probably say Maine, but I'm very concerned. Canada, it is!

@DubWolf Well, I'm sure you planned it behind the scenes!

J/K!!

Curses, now I actually have to answer because it would be rude to only respond to you... Ugggggghhhhh.

I have an overactive bladder, so I go very frequently. Far too frequently, in fact. >.< (happens much more during the day, thankfully, but sometimes I'll have to get up during the night. And oftentimes needing to go seeps into my dreams and that drives me crazy!!!)

Nope! Thank God!! (See what I did there? )

Church back when I was a believer was as boring as watching paint dry. Now listening to a service disturbs me. I've been exposed a lot to the Pentecostal/Charismatic/"Non-denominational" bubble of belief a lot in the past couple of years and that is quite a change from my childhood church. As in, it's going to make me lose sanity because it is so... detached from reality, and the people are the most rotten Christians, the ones that are driving Christianity into the ground in the USA with their hate, greed, and idolatry.

If I have to hear/read "let no weapon formed against me prosper", "washed in the blood of Jesus", "I know it's witchcraft!", "prodigal child" or any other disturbing evangelical-speak phrase even one more time, I will scream and pull all of my hair out.

I currently live in that home. Check in with me in half a year to a year and see how I'd answer since I'm moving.

Chances are I'd say no. The house itself is nice and comfy. I'm going to miss it and I'm not happy that we're selling what could have someday been a guaranteed home for me passed down. But the problem is that it's in Oklahoma, where freedoms are gone/being taken away and the climate is downright miserable. I don't think that I can say that this home is sustainable either way going into the future.

So, yeah, as much as I could use $10K, I like having freedoms and safety more.

On 2021-11-08 at 7:17 PM, Envy said:

I had a...revelation... so to speak and think that I might be very slightly bisexual. This is a lot to take in for me. >.<

Hm... Let me clarify, bicurious is a better term to describe. Bisexual is a bit too dramatic to describe what I am. But my sexuality has, for some very odd reason, drifted against my wishes. I don't understand this at all.

Here are some I can think of:

• Sunshine
• Insects
• Heat
• Math
• Spring & Summer