Envy

I don't know. My only experience with a Brony was a guy at my former workplace long ago (he wore a shirt proclaiming it, otherwise I'd have never known). He was on a different shift but overlapped with mine for a few hours. I was never close enough to him to find out his hygiene habits.

I regret so much with my ex-girlfriend. But I don't know if I had done things better that things wouldn't have turned out the same. In fact, I'm leaning heavily toward that they would be the same. I can't say that for sure, and I do feel like the mistakes I made were pretty high impact, but I also think that she was becoming a different person and thus it probably would have ended this way. I wish it at least could have ended with us still talking. So many things I want to say I regret I just don't know if I can say that for sure. (Not even the above, sure I DO regret the mistakes I made, but are better outcomes [aside from maybe us being friends] really what I want?) Life is very complicated. One thing for sure I do regret, though, is long ago freaking out about health things and not taking care of myself. This was a serious mental struggle for me, I thought my life was over and I retreated into a bubble. This caused me to not live for the future, but instead live in the past. I did not have any serious thought of graduating from college and getting a career. I went to college to learn, not with a future in mind. I didn't learn to drive because doing so didn't seem possible with the health issues I thought I had. I never learned to adult. I snapped out of this gradually over the past five years (pretty much entirely by late 2023). Now I'm in my mid-30s, don't have a career and don't know what in the world my career should even be. I'm living with how not-put-together my life is as a result of this. I'm living with having made a huge move despite that. It's wild let me tell you. I need to put myself together quickly and find a good career and I'm overwhelmed, and I also couldn't put together learning to drive before I moved (too much money to manage when I needed to save for the move), and I can't until I have more money, so I'm walking and taking buses which is absolutely not what I wanted to do. I'm paying the price, worrying about creepy guys and walking in very uncomfortable weather. I can't wait until its winter again. Walking in the summer sucks, so much. Even then, can I say I regret my college years? No, I can't! As I said life is complicated. I pursued a passion, a special interest. I would even continue on that road, but I don't think that me as a music history professor is what this world needs. I also have a passion for other things that are more in line with serving people or making my country better. Now I'm trying to figure out how to make a career out of them. It's difficult, but my country is so messed up now a fire has been lit.

My high school? Its marching band, definitely.

I remember 2016 as a great year for me personally, where I got to leave behind my night job and return to college. I also got my dog that year, who I love dearly. But the year ended on a horrible note with the election. 2016 was one step in what I'm now feeling fairly certain is beginning of the end of my country. It was also when moving to another safer, freer state started becoming a necessity for me. The beginning of my need to leave behind my home, my family, my friends and everything I had ever known. I love living in my new state, but I do miss my family and friends. If only our country had gone a different direction, I at least could have stayed in OK for some time instead of it being a "get out of here right now, no matter what" situation like it was for me.

I'm self-conscious about my teeth. I wasn't able to get braces because I have sensory issues and you can't even get an X-ray or camera in my mouth without me gagging, much less having something like braces that would stay in my mouth. So my teeth aren't straight and pretty.

Never happened to me, and I'm less shy about using public restrooms than I was the last time I posted here. You and your bathroom topics. Now you go back and bump one that hasn't been active for almost six years.

Fruit punch sparkling water.

I have a huge scar on the back of one of my legs. I have smaller scars on a lot of other areas of my body, but most of them aren't anywhere as near as visible as that one. Yay for medical issues or otherwise getting scars in stupid ways.

I live in an apartment now, so lots of things are different. I don't have a washer/drier, no dishwasher, and my air-conditioner is a wall unit, so no central air-conditioning, no ceiling fans, and obviously no backyard. I actually am still missing quite a few things since we can't afford to ship over furniture or a lot of my other stuff yet.

My last doctor's appointment was my primary care physician in May. I have a couple of appointments coming up this month. Get yourself to the doctor! Don't be lazy about this!

I've lived in Connecticut for a year now and that means my experience is still quite limited. Although I did monitor the weather from a distance for years before moving (yup. lol), so I'm still somewhat knowledgeable. Summers are a mixture of hot, warm and even cool weather. It's inconsistent, and sometimes how cool some of the days can be pleasantly surprises me. But it's still summer so most days aren't nice, but it's far better than the south. It's not the constant block of heat summer, which is nice. Winters are chilly. Pretty much consistently so. I love that! I love that so much! I need winter to be winter and it is much more winter here than it was in the south, but it's not like frigid cold like you'll see in Minnesota or the Dakotas, which is a plus. On snow: While last season I didn't see any particularly impressive snow storms, we did have snow on the ground like 70% of the season which was great! And there was snow on the ground on Christmas, meaning White Christmas! Yay!

I do not know what the tap water is like in my area. I drink only bottled water.

Amazing weather today. It stayed in the 60s, and was overcast with a breeze! By 7 it had dropped into the 50s. New England is amazing. I love it here! (I didn't love the past few days, where it was in the 90s, but at least it doesn't last forever like in the south).

Now that I live in Connecticut, having relatives in California is now all of the way on the other side of the country! Most of my family is in Oklahoma, though (until I can convince them to move here, because it's sooooo much better, and yes they know it. And no I'm not just saying that, they actually know it. lol)

I think that killing is such a major violation of my moral compass that I wouldn't be able to do it even with my life at risk. My moral compass is and has always been incredibly strong and deeply held that if I violated it like that I'm pretty sure I'd end up very mentally unstable from then on, so it wouldn't be a way to live for me anyway.

TBH, first thing I'd do is I'd get a citizenship in a more stable, less depraved country (Canada as my first choice). I'd make sure family and close friends were financially well off. I'd set aside enough money to keep myself comfortable and then donate to charity and other good causes... such as helping Canada (or whatever other country) remain a stable and free country unlike my then former country.

I ended up in a walkable area without having to live in a big city. I appreciate that because I am not one for cities. I have a hospital that is like less than ten minutes of walking away, a medical clinic where my Primary Care is about 20 to 25 of walking away, and a large store (similar to Walmart, but a different brand) about 25 minutes of walking away. There's more stuff that is walkable to, including a hair salon and a nail salon, both of which I use! Still... I hate not having a car. I'm so ready to have a car and be driving.

I mentioned liking Punk/Ska Punk before and I think that's probably the biggest thing I can think of, but also, another music one: Bluegrass. IDK about modern Bluegrass, I'm thinking the oldest Bluegrass. It's just not something you'd ever expect out of me because I'm so adverse to Country music itself. Bluegrass is so different and yet still seems like "What? How could I listen to that?" but I get it because of the tie in to Folk music, of which I love old British and American folk music. Another one: The beach! Yes, I discovered last summer that I actually really like going to the beach. That's just completely unexpected of me. It took me by surprise! I mean? Sunshine, heat - I hate all of that and yet I enjoyed being at the beach even when it was sunny and hot. And getting me to even wear a one-piece is such a huge thing. I don't like showing that much even, but it is what it is. This summer I'm yet to be able to go. It's only an hour drive in a car... but... like 5 hours on the bus. Ugh.

Nope, not that I can recall. I don't like to make a scene or draw attention to myself and I'm quite a rule-follower. I doubt I've even come close to this have ever happening. Unless you count someone telling me that it was closing time. That happened last year when i went to see Portland Headlight. We weren't aware of closing hours and I was walking around looking for a restroom before we were going to take off and a security officer came by telling me that we needed to go because it was time to close. I was embarrassed, to say the least.

The past few couple of days have been in the 60s and overcast. Delightful weather for June! The heat starts settling in as this next week progresses, though. D:

It's in the mid 60s with off and on rain. The rain can be a pain, but I'm loving the cool weather and overcast skies.

It was super hot outside, so I stayed inside today. Put in a couple of job applications, fixed my Reshade in The Sims (which I haven't been able to figure out how to fix since I got my desktop at my new place a few months ago, so it was a long time coming to fix it!) and relaxed with my A/C on.

I'm relaxing, getting ready for bed.

I hate the heat, and I can now say I still prefer the cold over the heat after spending my first winter in New England. I walk around quite a bit and the cold was easy to deal with, the heat just makes me feel miserable. And by "heat", that can be as low as in the 70s F. I know that sounds silly, but when there's direct sunlight and no breeze/wind, the air feels so yucky and I hate that feeling of warmth. Of course, "heat" to be more describes the 80s and especially the 90s and 100s. But it all sucks to me.

It's overcast, breezy and 60F. Great weather! Especially considering June is tomorrow.