MyLilPony

ALT + 3

morning ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

damn i guess i either weirded maillinter out ir you got offline, i was really hoping for your wisdom fuckin hate fuckin life...

Wish I could just die, but i know that's not an option...

i want to go get dressed but guilt strikes my heart when i think of it

I don't know, the truth of the situation sounds so bad it almost makes me want to just forget about even trying to find a solution and go with it.

god it feels and looks so good to me, sorry for spamming, i guess im just getting my thoughts out before i lose them so not only you but I also can look over it and maby figure something out.

screw it, im about to put some pretty bracelets and stuff on as jared

And I love looking at mlp stuff like the mane6 and pink stuff, i could look at it all say, actually I do because my desk is covered with super cute MLP stuff

Jade just has the pretty color and style edge on jared.

I don't know maby we arent supposed to be appealing to ourselves, althoguh I am as both jared and jade, "not in a sexual way"

Jared is one of the coolest most handsome guys you'll ever meet too, it just doesnt please me for some reason.

I don't like looking at myself and not seeing pink colors and rainbow colors and bracelets earrings, etc...

Just cant take the cycle anymore, my heart wants to keep Jade, but I also know its nearly impossible.

It's just gotta get figured out cause I'll be jade for awhile, feel like im in heaven, then suddenly a guilt comes over me and I lose her, then im fine as jared for awhile but after awhile of that I get depressed that I can't be jade.

yea me too, nostalgia brings you back to when things were easy. I think its more about getting rid of all Jared's worries cause Jade doesnt care, she only cares about little girl stuff, which you know consists of mostly like playing/painting/etc.. I know its partially a comfort thing and a beautiful color thing, I like looking at myself and seeing all kinda beautiful colors

I guess I have to find whats causing Jade to be how she is and wether its changable and if it is I need to learn to be happy with jared.

I'm just ready to figure out the truth and see if I can change it no matter how much it hurts, I want to be stable with no fear or guilt anymore.

I wonder if i dress up like a little girl and play with little girl toys because their beauty and attitude and naivety, but I don't look at little girls in public or anywhere cause I feel like its not really my right.

I'm eating fish, that makes me a liar Vegan huh?

well, ill never give up on jesus, but I dont want my eveil if it is eveil to seperate us like, where did that thoguht come from to begin with, was it some kind of perverse thing or is it just an admiration of little girls and their happiness and prettyness.