ciztoi

So of those that gave an actual response, the general pattern I'm seeing is "I enjoy it, and what others think is irrelevant to that fact" or "normal is relative". I'm also seeing responses that remind the reader that what society expects us to be and what we want to be are orthogonal concepts. I agree with this, but I feel that because of the circumstances of our culture the way others think about you will still affect your life anyway. I understand "normal" is relative, but I can't ever stop seeing that the vast majority of society adheres to a single definition of normal. Maybe to others this isn't a problem, but to me I constantly feel "wrong" for living the way I do because of it. Locally, in our culture, the norm is an "absolute", that is, you're deviating from the expected behavior of the vast majority of society. I'm also seeing responses that separate our online and offline lives to be independent of each other, which I can definitely appreciate. That's essentially what I've been trying to do as well. If it were possible to entirely separate these two "lives" (which is difficult when you live with someone), then ideally there would be no problems. Since people seem to think this is a troll thread, I guess I'll just leave after this. I kept this reply short because obviously some people would have preferred this thread didn't exist. Oh well, right?

I apologize in advance... I've been trying to distance myself from this fandom for... well, now it's over 2 years, but it's never worked. I just get worse, and feel worse and worse about myself. Why are we all a part of this objectively meaningless group that has an interest in something people in general doesn't approve of? It's not normal. And by that, I mean, it doesn't fit society's definition of normal, and that's the only thing that matters. How can you take yourself seriously doing this? I know I can't take myself seriously. I became part of this mess 3 years ago at the beginning of season 2. The next 8 months or so were some of the happiest, most blissfully ignorant months of my life. I read millions and millions of words of fanfiction. I followed lots of pony ask blogs, regularly browsed deviantart, et cetera et cetera. I listened to pony music and almost nothing else every day. Then my friends all quit the pony stuff. I "quit" as well. Some people probably are aware, but most people don't know I'm a brony. I'm constantly ashamed of the new levels of embarrassment I descend to over time. I've seen so many people with severe, severe social impediments who are bronies and I can't help but feel like one of them, even though I'm nowhere near as bad as them. These feelings are what have prevented me from applying for a programmer in many major projects despite that I would like to (regardless of the looming threat of C&Ds) and feel I would be able to make a contribution. Why are you still here? Have you managed to somehow come to terms with your interests?