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Aeros Sine

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Blog Entries posted by Aeros Sine

  1. Aeros Sine
    So, its been over a year since I had been made a blog post on MLP forums, so I'm only going to make a brief post because, right now I'm only writing for not much of a reason.
     
    Anyway, I wanted to mention my bad social skills. I haven't talked to people much since I left the forums and I don't really know how to talk to people. Even online, it feels like I'm the "one outside". I don't feel a part of the "group". Every time I talk, everyone either ignores or scolds me to be quiet. I don't know what people want.
  2. Aeros Sine
    I have just watched an episode of Jem called 'Father's day' and...it has gotten me thinking about my father.
     
    To be honest, I never treated my father right. I usually cared about myself and my needs, not that I appreciated it much. He bought me what I wanted, even when I didn't need it and I still didn't appreciate it. I was so bent on resentment that I didn't care to concern myself for him.
     
    I never cared for my mother either. She loved to hug me and still does but I try to stay away from her unless food is involved.
     
    I've thought about suicide plenty of times and still do but I just ponder on when my time will come when I lose someone close to me. What will that be like? I never lost anyone that was important to me, not that I ever had anyone important anyway.
     
    My resentment was particularly because of my discretion. I was ashamed of my ADHD and disowned my mother for it. I didn't have many friends at all, and I strayed away from them most of the time. Even at home, I kept the door closed except for food. Consequently, there was no place I felt was for me and my parents suffered for it. That led to me cutting myself in secret and the mental hospital.
     
    Every day was a struggle with me. I didn't talk to them much and when I did talk to them, it was taken as a 'smart aleck' type. But essentially I was just living, not giving any academics any concern whatsoever.
     
    My father will die soon I suppose and so will my mother. He only eats once a day and my mother has a risk of diabetes and chooses not to exercise. Pretty soon I will be on my own and I will regret it. But I live on and here I stand.
  3. Aeros Sine
    So I've been going around every morning and I turn on the television to Discovery family at 7:00 A.M. in the morning and I see the best show I have ever seen. Of course there is the catchy theme song and the lovely characters but do you know what I like about it being with Hasbro and everything? The morals. With My little pony and other shows with Hasbro, they have a knack for giving the right morals for the demographic and I praise them for that. But when I stumbled online to a certain character I was heartfelt and instantly fell in love with her. This is Roxanne Pelligrini.
     

     
    I saw that she was a high school dropout and she had been almost completely illiterate although being over twenty I presume. Now this had me loving her from the beginning and even as much as a crush. I've only known about Jem for three days and I'm already acquainted with the show. But what do I think about her as a character? Well, she has been probably the best for the cruel acts in the group, unless we count Pizzazz then she is second. But she has her own taste of fashion. When we see her in Roxy Rumbles, she has fantastic character development and great reflections with herself as a person.
     
    I intend on drawing her at least one time in my life before I die. I make a promise to that. Essentially she is the girl I want and it has led to day dreaming lately. So...I guess this is a tribute to her. Go Roxy!
  4. Aeros Sine
    So, I have been giving the forums a lot of thought and from what I've seen, it is a pretty good community. But... I have fallen for one of these members of the community. I...can't explain it...wait yes i can. She is a magnificent beast who prowls the forums ever so lightly with her soft padded paws and never tries to harm anyone she has to protect. Never had I seen such a valiant beast here (Although there are very attractive members on the forum) and I feel that I have to say something. She's already married as she has said in her profile but I feel i have to say something. I want to be honest to her because when we play in the roleplay world, I don't want it to be weird between us (Although I have the feeling it will be weird if i do tell her). What should I do? I'm just a lowly member who had a limited amount of friends and misses his roleplay posts...She will never accept me..especially since she is the roleplay leader of the forums. *sigh* I need advice. Any suggestions?
  6. Aeros Sine

    My Idol

    By Aeros Sine,

    I've been thinking about my idol, Emilie Chatelet.

     
    And recently i've been looking after her philosophical contributions to logic and i think. Where is my contribution? I'm starting one right now called "The formations of beauty". It explains how the cultures of beauty shows in different types of manner. Realistically, my philosophical skills are certainly not up to par and i've been self-taught so far. Emilie had an education by scholars but i venture to complete mines on my own. I need to learn to grow my skills without instruction with only the inspiration of past philosophers and scientists. But there is also another person who i admire.
     
    Thomas Young.

     
    Not as a philosopher but as a scientist. His work on the double slit problem showed significant intelligence as a prodigy and one of the wonders of human beings. But another thing. He had a quote that said: "Whoever would arrive at excellence must be self-taught. There is, in reality, very little that a person who is serious and industriously disposed to improve may not obtain from books with more advantage than from a living instructor." I wish to adhere to that statement as much as i can but one thing. I'm not him. Nor Emilie. I have ADHD and i sometimes can't handle distractions while reading or when i read, my working memory isn't good but i try still.
     
    Now, after i discharged from the mental facility for depression,(the reason was i was trying to live up to past people like these and be a success like them but to no avail) I was taught to not try to be them as they are already dead and they are but a memory. I should be my own person and try my best to become what i strive to be. And that is what My Little Pony episodes taught me especially testing, testing, 1,2,3. I learned that everyone has different studying habits and something they are good at so to my progress, enhance that ability and be glad to have it.
     
    Essentially, i still look up to these past people as my mentors but i need to learn to live my life.
  7. Aeros Sine
    So i just watched a quick skim of the "Bloom and Gloom" episode and I've been thinking...when will i get mine. You know, speaking in human talent of course. Like Applebloom or the crusaders for that matter, i try to explore and find what i'm good at, even mildly. What i think is that every human being has a specific order of intelligence whether it be grown or made. But....like Applebloom, i want it NOW!!! What my brain doesn't get is that it takes time and i think i expected (i'm eighteen) to learn what i'm good at before the age of twenty but i haven't. So evidently it will be years before i know or hours, i can't tell. But i this for sure, it will come, one day. But until then, i will keep searching and as i've said, i'm not really good at anything, at least not that i know of. So to end, i will have to wait and see what i can find. Oh, and the next issue of "Let's talk books" is coming Monday featuring Sir Francis Bacon and his "Advancement of Learning". So be stoked.
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