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Melke

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Blog Entries posted by Melke

  1. Melke
    Last Update: 6 Oct 2018
    I have made many characters, some are still in development stage, some are fully realized.
    My main persona character is a cat and I have given a more MLP themed character some thought. I still prefer my little furball but if I were to be a MLP character, I would say that I would be more of a changeling.
    Major Characters:
    My original race, the Navitus:
    Melke (Milky) Koffee - My main persona character
    Syoko (Syo) Yoake - A bright and cheerful character, also a cat
     
    MLP characters:
    Rosy (Saber) Lattice - A wild pony
  2. Melke

    My struggle and my new path

    By Melke,

    Taken from my dA:
     
    A piece of my cold shell has fallen
     
    Hehe... I have faced many things over the past few days and now, I see more to me.
     
    Let me explain my weird title first.
    For the longest time, since I can remember, I have been hiding in a shell of my own creation. The cold and seemingly intimidating (If you knew me in real life) me was a facade that became a mask that I could not take off. I was clueless and let this grapple onto my life and send me through depression and sadness. I may not seem like it most of the time, but I care a lot for others (friends or not). This mask I wore endured a lot and has helped me in a lot of ways, letting me act more like a grown up. But what I didn't notice was the side-effects that were happening to me. My mask numbed my sense of joy, pride, confidence and even creativity and was controlling them via self-harm thoughts and some mental philosophy (like my work is utter trash regardless of what I do as it is never good enough). After going through this cycle, someone has helped me to see the light. Someone saw through my mask and shown me the path. And I now know what was wrong and how it went so wrong.
     
    It all started back when I was about 6 or 8 years old and that was when I first experienced betrayal. People whom I thought were friends stabbed me in the back and since then, I have lost my ability to trust anyone. I made sure to never share anything that I value and would always demand that they share something of equal value before I would even consider. This led to my childhood being cut short. Due to my lack of trust, I feel like the world was on the offensive and wanted to attack me at every turn. I was easily angered and threw tantrums, that... scared away everyone I knew. Nobody would want to be friends with such an explosive person and that was when I was truly alone. My childhood ended there, with barely any happy memories.
     
    One night around that time, I got a hard slap from reality when my own mother told me that my behavior is terrible and that she actually hates me. That was the breaking point for me. I had been pondering the thoughts of suicide for a long time since I was left alone and that almost threw me off the edge. I can still remember the hate I carried, the hate for everyone and everything for being happy while I suffered in neglect. The kitchen knife always looked tempting to just take it and do something that I will regret. I blame the world and also, myself. I have always been a very emotionally sensitive person. A few more days after that hard slap, I decided to kill my inner child, so that all of its sensitivities, disillusions and feeling of neglect would die with it, and so it was done and in its place, was the mask I mentioned earlier.
     
    Then came the next few years of my life, and the death of my inner child proved to be the 'right' move. People, though still put off, did became friends with me. I always kept less than 10 friends and avoided any unnecessary need to socialize. I honestly thought it worked and that my sensitivities are best forgotten. But then came the side-effects that I only now know of, I was easily disinterested in something. I hated taking pictures (hating my own face). I am very boring and depressing. I don't seem to even try to be nice. I was always left to my own devices so I can study in school in peace. I still hated betrayals and I would instantly revoke my friendship with anyone at the slightest provocation. I was easily bored so I started to try and spice things up in my life then a sort of fear takes over and I just stop and drop it before I even went through with it. My view of the world 'attacking' me has died off as I made friends. My feelings of loneliness and neglect and distrust lingered still and it was starting to hurt me emotionally. Every day I felt a strain on my own heart and it seems like I have been suppressing a lot of things.
     
    Fast forward to now, I started to draw and what started out from drawing Eevees, became a personal project to find myself. I drew many characters and each one was subconsciously a part of me. Little did I know was that it was all small pieces to what I was really doing to myself. I thought I was just drawing the masks I wear but now that I know about my impressionable personality. I saw something deeper to my drawings.
     
    I have been thrown around a lot in just a few years and I am forced to adapt to a lot of conditions. Developed from my transition from primary to secondary education, I have a very impressionable personality. I use this to help me adapt to situations that are extremely new to me or that I am afraid. I usually mimic that most popular or generally liked student in my own way and that has led to me having many personas. My masks are fakes and they can never measure up to the real thing. Then, it hit me. Why did I have such a personality to begin with? It was to protect my inner child. I thought I killed it but it seems it survived but in fragments. I had the wrong idea of what really happened on the night I thought I killed my inner child, it just built up defenses. The part of me that cares for others really deeply never faded, it simply hid away and came out from time to time.
     
    --
    I am not sure if this makes sense to anyone but this is my story and now I am on the road to recovering the pieces and hopefully getting my sense of passion and joy back. I hope I am not wrong as this journey was really difficult, I fought depression head on and came out alive, I even doubt that I will fully recover as this was part of growing up and having a completely recovery means reverting back to a child mind. I guess that is enough of an explanation to as much as I feel that is important to share.
  3. Melke
    Dear Chronicler,
     
    Sorry that I have not been writing in you since I last wrote. I had been going through some tough times and I was kept away from you for a while.
     
    Things had not been going too well with me lately. I got into... a fight with my parent... I mean, mother again but this time, I did it. I ran away. I was reckless but I am not going back like this. I feel so trapped inside, I am not allowed to express myself as she would always put it down as I am being childish or just tell me to grow up. I admit that I am a crybaby but I was not crying for attention, I was letting out my suffering.
     
    My mom and dad fought and dad left and never came back. I just created this belief that he died so that it is less painful. I feel empty ever since I was told to grow up, to be honest, I was already sure that Mom had enough of me and just told me what she felt deep down. It hurts so much to hear that and it just couldn't take it and ran away. I am sure you hear quite enough of that already so I think I will just move on.
     
    This place... is so strange. I do feel weaker here, I guess it is because of the dimension's ambient magic being quite weak compared to where I came from. My kyanite has been rather tainted lately and I was lucky to have some form of magic back or it would have corrupted even more. I used my magic to create myself a mask as I don't want to face anyone at the moment. I didn't know where I was but all I knew was that I am in the forest. I wandered about for days, savaging what I could for food and water. But I didn't last long and I passed out.
     
    Now I am in a wood cabin, it seems. There is this zebra who took me in and took care of me while I was asleep. I didn't want to bother her so I tried to leave but I remembered. I don't know the place and it will take a while until I get used to the place. I have yet to ask her what is this place called but she seems to be busy at the moment, creating some sort of brew.
     
    Life without my magic is going to be hard... I guess it would not be bad to learn a bit of alchemy for protection purposes. She has a lot of books but I do not understand the language so I guess I will have to observe her carefully.
     
    About this zebra and her home, there is a lot of odd things that seems to be associated with a sort of tribal magic style. She has this tribal sun mark on her... flank and she wears gold accessories. There seems to be a few visitors that come to talk to her daily. I made sure to keep myself out of sight, the last thing I need is to get unwanted attention. I am not exactly a citizen or even supposed to exist here in the first place.
     
    There are some days that I went out. I burrowed her cloak so that nobody could recognize me. She insisted that she accompany me and at least show me the woods a little more so that I would not get lost. It was a little tricky to learn, of course, only those who have walked these woods many times would know the various turns and also tricks to bypass some of the wildlife here. I think I saw a wolf made of wood. Soon, she showed me a place that she referred to as "PonyVille" and to my surprise, the creatures that live here are mainly ponies. She wanted to take me to the town hall so that they can find out who I belonged to... was I supposed to be some sort of pet or something? Regardless, I turned away before she could take me to that hall and for the first time, I spoke to her. I wanted to thank her for showing me around and also introduce myself and my situation. She seems to have understood what I said and more importantly, she was surprised that I talk. Her name was Zecora.
     
    So after some discussion, I am now living with her and I am allowed to study alchemy on my own time and observe her do her work. I still kept out of sight whenever I hear hooves approaching and she was kind enough to provide me a place to hide in but she did tell me that I need to overcome my fear of meeting the ponies, it will be unavoidable.
     
    Oh well, it has been an eventful few days in this world called "Equestria". I managed to get the magic to summon you back and also, I would like to say that I brought little Vero with me too. It is getting late, so I will write in you again tomorrow.
     
    Goodnight,
    Melke
     
    ---
     
    Dairy of a Cat is my OC's adventure in the world of Equestria and it also serves as a way for me to express in a simple way. The Chronicler is a magical book that Melke can summon and write things in without worry for space as it has never ending pages.
  4. Melke
    Taken from a previous post to some pony but I did not send it as it was out of context, we were discussing the possibility of Solar Flare (Celestia's version of Nightmare Moon) being the finale face off:
     
    I have not been to comic con but I have seen the animatic too. A time travel device is not far fetched in equestria and I agree with you that Starlight Glimmer (with all of her stalking) have learned of Twilight's past and went back to stop the one key event that caused her to be the princess of friendship and meeting her friends.
     
    Without the sonic rainboom, presumably Rainbow lost the race somehow and gave up her passion for racing and maybe, never got her mark or alternatively, the race to defend Fluttershy's honor did not happen and Dash never got to realize her passion.
     
    Going with the latter, Fluttershy may not have landed on the ground and may have moved to ponyville to live quietly on her own but never discovering her connection with animals.
     
    Without the rainboom, Pinkie would not have became a party pony and would have still lived on the rock farm with her family, maybe becoming more like Maud pie (personally, I love this idea as it would be fun to see the Pinkie and Maud act the same).
     
    Applejack felt homesick regardless but never understood the feeling so she stayed with her aunt and uncle in Manehattan. Given from what we know about Manehattan, it is safe to assume that applejack became more of a city pony than country and her mannerism will be very different, as well as her ethics.
     
    As for Rarity, she was literally dragged to the rock filled with gems but it never broke and so Rarity must have been left without her muse and her designer style of using gemstones. She might give up on her fashion and become like her parents.
     
    As for Twilight, she gave up at the entrance exam and never caught the eye of Princess Celestia. So who would have taken that honor of being Celestia's prized student? I am not sure, maybe Sunset? or Starlight?
     
    The nightmare Celestia is an interesting idea but I am not sure if we will see it at the end of season 5 as the card said "The day will last forever". It is the same as nightmare moon's ideology. Since Starlight is changing the Rainboom event, I am not sure if the ripple of time and space is enough to cause this to happen but it is a possibility.
     
    For the finale, going off what would have happened if the rainboom never occured. I am not sure of Starlight's motive. Messing up the past of Twilight and the elements of harmony. Nightmare Moon is the first villain that I think of that would have ruled equestria and silenced Celestia without the elements to stop her. Then there is Discord, Sombra... so I guess that the writers have a balance factor so that they do not have to write such a complex tale. Maybe another set of the elements of harmony that differs from the mane 6?
     
    Taking the idea from earlier, the unicorn that became Celestia student, became the new element of harmony's magic with a new set of 5 (as our current 5 is sort of unable to come to terms with their lives). They were the ones who saved equestria in the alternate world. Twilight... I am not sure how she would be as she is the main character, her memories will be intact.
     
    As for Starlight's motive, she wanted to give ponies true friendship. I personally believe that she believes fully that equality represents friendship. This idea is more of a feeling that one would get after spending a long time being average or having seen how skills had divided others apart.
     
    I am not sure how does the new mane 6 would fare but I guess that they did not go through the more impacting stories.
     
    So Starlight would still have her village and slowly, she is gathering ponies into her cult. That might be her motive, to get back what she believed was real friendship.
     
    It might be possible that Twilight and the rest are blank flanks or the mane 5 are and how they are not happy despite being equal. And also Spike would not be born in this timeline or he would have new mare to follow. Or Twilight and the mane 6 got their cutie marks in some way but they misinterpreted their marks that it made them feel what Starlight felt.
     
    The animatic tells something about cutie mark magic and how Starlight was just sitting in the friendship castle. I still remember her line when her village was ruined: "Let's see how they like spending the rest of their days without their precious marks." This is her revenge probably.
     
    On the topic of cutie mark magic, doesn't anyone remember Magical Mystery Cure? The spell that Twilight fixed that was originally Starswirl's unfinished masterpiece? What did the spell say again?
     
    From all of us together,
    Together we are friends
    With the marks of our destinies made one
    There is magic without end
     
    There is a high chance of this being something that might fix the mess that Starlight made. In season 5, we are starting to see more of background ponies being used to help the mane 6 and seeing more of foils for each of them. Also note the 3rd line: with the marks of our destinies made one, doesn't that seem like something like equality?
     
    What do you think?
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