Zeal Crown

I've been finding it more and more difficult to keep up with everybody. Just started seeing a new therapist. Hopefully it'll improve, but I'm also wondering if I have some form of selective mutism. Been on my mind a while, and I think it makes sense. It would be nice to have an explanation as well.

Finals are over. My due dates for late work are being extended. I'm going to watch the game tonight with my host family. It's going to be great, but I don't know how to stop thinking about how I have to leave in just a couple of days. I'm definitely going to make the most of what I have left, but I'm afraid of the inevitable homesickness that's going to devour me when I'm in Seattle. Would anybody be able to give me words of encouragements, jokes, or just want to chat some?

Today's been a rough day, and I think this week might be a rough week too. I'm leaving Barcelona on Saturday and will be returning to the US on Monday. It's not something I'm really excited about. My ultimate plan will be to move here permanently, and I have a big plan in order to do so. But, sadly, that plan requires me going back to the US for now.

But I'm trying to think positively. When I land this internship, I'll be back here by the beginning of June, and will be here until the end of July. Even better, I'll be with the very same host family I'm currently with right now! I'm going to be working hard to come back here, and so that I can go to the U of Barcelona by next Fall. It'll be worth it in the end, and now I can say that I know it'll be for the best, as I speak from experience.

I'm thinking too about what I can be looking forward to. I'm excited to have my own room again, as I've been having to share my bedroom with my roomie, and I'm excited to relax. Finals has really been stressing me out. I'm excited to relax and play a game or two that I enjoyed playing before moving here. (I had recently gotten back into Toontown, as silly as that may sound) I wasn't able to bring my art tablet either, as it would take up too much room, and I was afraid it might break on the way to/back from here. Perhaps rather rudely, I'm somewhat excited to have my weed again as well.

While living here, I've made friends with the other students in my program, some of whom live in Seattle not too far from where I typically live. I've made a new friend online who lives in Seattle too, who's invited me to his apartment to cook his authentic Mexican food for us, so I believe it may help me stave off my inevitable homesickness. I think that may be what I'm most excited for. It'll be so very nice to have friends who will be able to help me with my homesickness.

So I have things to look forwards to and feasible goals I can look forwards to. I'm hoping I can keep myself positive, but as I get closer to needing to leave, it's been becoming rather more difficult. Still, I'm doing the best I can, and I'm sure it'll work out.

June isn't terribly far away.

It's been too long, this place has changed. Now, where did I put my references?

I seriously haven't felt this shitty in years. I'm not going to leave my room this entire weekend.

Oh shit, Valentine day is coming up! Time to buy a box of chocolate and sneak them towards my crush. Hehehe, he'll never know it was me.

I think I, a stressed high school junior, know more about North Korea than Trump, the president-elect.

Apparently today is Christmas or something. Merry Christmas you filthy animals!

The Christmas season has never felt the same ever since I've moved from Minnesota. Christmas isn't real without snow.

The night before the last day of school before break and I spend it all playing Hearthstone. Unhealthy upsesion.