Here No Longer

Upset... Sometimes I really honestly think that my BF really doesn't care at all about how I feel about anything.

Shockingly enough I had a pretty decent knowledge of my gender 4 years ago... Just didn't know the term for it.

No bones broken... Have had back pain in the past though that's possibly to do with bad posture...

I usually eat it in a bowl with a spoon...?

I'm feeling pog because it's Enby Day

Also feeling a kinda different way but that is not to be mentioned here

25 minutes ago, Magpie said:

I'm both excited and worried. I came out as trans to my friends and everyone has been generally supportive about it, which has lifted a weight from me.

That's good! I've only really came out with my actual gender to my boyfriend at this point though 3 others know me as just nonbinary (and not as a demigirl more specifically). Being that I live in a place like Texas I have to be very careful about who I tell about being non-binary or especially a demigirl. There's plenty of "there's only 2 genders" people down here. Which I mean is literally factually wrong but that's what they believe.

8 minutes ago, The Hawks Simp said:

this is a mood

 

also scotland needs to learn that trans people are a thing
we don want special bs, we just want to be treated the same as cis of our gender< stop claiiming we want bs like bubble laws that just cause more hate and restrict us, because o us

Exactly, same goes for this ultraconservative trans and enby phobic state of Texas. Why do they care about what's in my pants and if what I'm wearing matches that? Why would they care if I was born male and am getting breasts? Why do they even care seriously?

Went on a little rant about it in a Discord I'm on (with things about me some people would surely not like to know) about all of this but it might not be forum-appropriate...

Dammit cis-normative society, you need to stop being so sucky.

After that eye appointment, I'm not sure whether to feel ok or like total $#!+.

I got misgendered repeatedly (expected, I still look like a man IRL) and forced to pick from "men's" glasses (seriously what kind of BS is that why are glasses sexed?) and I nearly had a panic attack from that and social anxiety turning my brain into mush that could only sit silently or just make sounds instead of speaking (had to force myself to do it when they got the letters out, I was having an internalized panic attack the entire time). Had to keep calming myself down and mentally calling myself "Ash" or once "Ash Dallas" instead of my legal name that everyone still uses because nobody IRL knows I'd rather go by Ash now yet... In fact most people IRL don't know I'm nonbinary, I'm quite closeted about that. And of those people 1 knows my gender more specifically.

BUT, I got to make some gender affirming poses (had one of my hips out when I was standing and everything) and I got a prescription so I can order more gender-affirming glasses later on! Managed to find a pair also that looked semi-cute on me in the "men's" section (That's going to bother the ever living $#!+ out of me), nice thick frames at the top and all rounded on the bottom...  BUT IT'S BLACK AND NOT RED OR PINK! Also it's in no other way gender affirming...

WE'RE GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT WINDOWS XP!

In the house I live in, luckily not really any aside from sometimes fleas.

Where I used to live, we got ants, wasps, africanized bees, fleas, flies... Oh and we got plenty of scorpions too.

Saddening how much my facial hair shows thanks to the lighting in the room (and my adam's apple omg that thing) but I tried I guess *shrugs*
 

Gender-wise, I'm a nonbinary gender. And well the way I see it if you can't accept those exist, that's on you.

Sexually, I'm technically speaking omnisexual, but I call myself pansexual because people are more familiar with it and omni and pan are very similar anyways.

Romantically (I'll use the neutral term since I'm nonbinary), I am androromantic. I am only romantically interested in men.

So basically, I'm nonbinary, I romantically only like guys and sexually I'm sort of into everything.

^ The background is the demigirl flag colors, as I've recently come to think I am a demigirl, meaning I partially identify as a girl but not entirely (partially feminine and partially bigender in my particular case), and the button has the omnisexual flag colors, as although I identify as pan I am technically omnisexual (like pan but with preferences).

https://picrew.me/image_maker/1142750

In front of my computer, procrastinating life itself as per usual

"You know what? If somebody doesn't like who I am, they can just f*** off. I'll wear women's clothes as a 'man' if I dang well please." It would indeed be their problem and not mine anyways that some people could be bigots.

https://picrew.me/image_maker/610761

14 hours ago, Mammon said:

Lost my Ozzy hoodie last night. Man

RIP Hoodie. Hopefully I'll never lose the first hoodie I will get with cat ears that would be a massive scale tragedy

I hope I'm not trans fem, I don't know what would happen if I were... My BF is gay, he has no interest in women... Knowing him, there's hope he'd give me a chance to find somebody who's good with a trans woman for a partner, but I don't know sometimes... Recent thoughts have made me really question if being trans fem is still a possibility

I feel really weird right now... I don't want to start anything with this so I'll leave it at that.

Also, edit: I'm beginning to feel slightly confused about my gender again... I think I could still be a trans woman but in denial and that's just been forced to grow accustomed to my own body through circumstance... Maybe I'm just a more fem enby I really don't know.

If only it were easier to express myself how I actually am... 

 I usually go to bed around 3am

People really don't think outside of the binary ever do they

I did one of the ones posted above and ended up with this:

My new avatar

https://picrew.me/image_maker/230257

Something I did with the same Picrew from the first post showing how my identity and how my ideal appearance changed over time (at a time I didn't have much of one):