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Hi, it has been a while since I last visited this place. Meanwhile I got diagnosed with ADHD this year, at 35 yo. I was in therapy over and over before, but it seems there was some kind of huge bottleneck for me. I also come with a condition called Sluggish Cognitive Tempo syndrome aka Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome (CDS). It isn't quite known and often seen as part of ADHD, and 2 doctors I spoke to never have heard of it. For me, the consequences of it are the inability to make decisions, maybe also take a while to accept things, not being "there in the moment" and not recognizing what is going on. Also, I have really huge issues to uphold a strong will for anything, usually. Sometimes (!) I can get it for a few days, maybe more rarely even weeks, but then it vanishes. Doesn't quite help with solving one's internal issues and conflicts. Also, massive overthinking. I learned some patterns about myself over the years; - I get lost in details and don't see the point people make or what is happening - I am absolutely, absolutely lost to short dopamine kicks. Anything short-term can provide. This is of course most prevalent on the internet, but also applicable IRL, it can be collecting bottle deposit on the way, it can be geocaching, it can be when getting stuff for free. I really have issues sticking to anything long term unless I am getting the structure externally. - I just can't seem to uphold a daily structure by myself at all. - It seems that during conflicts, anything someone throws at me, sticks. People might call me bad things, and I can't reflect that but instead blindly take them for granted - and see myself that way. I think this is why I reacted so harshly in the past, trying to reject that. - I am insanely distractable. Currently, I try to be less on the computer machine again. Trying to read a bit. Maybe trying to establish a few routines. My issue is I often don't know what I should do instead when I am bored. Also, I assume I might have autism. Late diagnosis kinda sucks on either way, because you fell all through the system, and also they are harder to get. I did have a negative mis-diagnosis of ADHD 9 years prior. I am getting medical drugs now for 2 weeks, but not sure if they will work the way I want them to (Stratera/atomoxicitin). I prefered ritaline/medikinet or elvanse, but my doctors is pretty hesitant towards those.