It sounds like you’re in this tricky spot where you crave genuine connection—whether it’s lighthearted chats with like-minded friends or deeper conversations where you can truly open up about your world. But right now, it feels like you’re stuck in a loop of giving emotional support to others (those 40+ Discord messages? Yikes, that’s a lot to carry!) while holding back your own needs. And on top of that, work expects you to be this unshakable “rock,” which must feel exhausting when you’re juggling so much internally.
What’s really interesting is how aware you are of that “wall” you put up—like, you want to let people in, but your brain hits pause and redirects the conversation. That self-awareness is actually a superpower, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now! Maybe part of you is protecting yourself from feeling vulnerable? Or maybe it’s hard to trust that someone will meet you halfway without expecting you to “fix” things, since you’re so used to being the one others lean on.
Do you think there’s a small step you could take to test the waters—like sharing a tiny, low-stakes worry with someone you feel slightly safe with? Sometimes breaking down that wall starts with just a single brick.