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Acoustic Cloud

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  1. Acoustic Cloud

    Goodbye

    By Acoustic Cloud,

    This is an official goodbye.


     

    If you don't want to read all of the self pity and important stuff about my life, then please. Stop reading and skip to the last section.



    (And please forgive the horrible structure of the this post, It's long, difficult to swallow, and I didn't really want to read through this kind of thing multiple times)


     
    I know I've said I'd leave before, but I'd always remove the blog minutes after seeing it wasn't going to happen.
     
    But this time, I don't plan on taking it down.
     
    I had planned on taking my leave after my 2nd Forum Anniversary, but since that project I planned isn't possible for me to complete due to having no funds to replace my tablet. I have to shut it down.
    I won't make the deadline, and I won't have those funds for a very long time.
    Sorry.
    So I thought I would address more than one sorry as there are many things I've done; I thought I'd apologize for each thing that came to mind.
     
    I'm sorry for being a rude member.
    I've never had a problem saying the first thing that comes to my mind, and many of you spite me for that. I've received enough snippy comments and horrible remarks to get the point.
     
    I'm sorry I could never keep a single friend.
    It's funny. I always used to think I could call myself loyalty. I've always been there for a friend, but I've never been able to keep one. I'll say something stupid and I'll leave. But now, I know I am not loyalty, I'm something else... whatever it may be.
     
    I'm sorry I am too fragile.
    I may seem gruff at times, but I assure you, someone can put the wrong emoticon, and I'll cry and just make a deal out of something that probably isn't there. I can't help it, I've done that my whole life, I've tried to cover that up, and it just... it's just there.
     
    I'm sorry for lies.
    I always seem to put a facade on and I can never seem to follow through.
     
    And mostly I regret not being what people want.
     
    And I won't sugar coat it, being here hasn't been some "great time in my life" like every other member seems to say. It's been hard, it's been heartbreaking, and I've watched the small little forum grow into a mosh pit of self pity and maltreatment. My time here has lead to more disappointment than I to go through in life that isn't required.
     
    Sure I've had good times, sure I've met great people. But good times move by, and when bad ones become more frequent than good, it isn't worth keeping myself in a dark place over.
     
    And yes, I know none of you remember me.
    I changed my name, and took a long hiatus, so coming back a few months ago was extremely disappointing.
    Something I've always disliked is how many handouts I've given.
    I'd have enough money to replace my tablet with the easily close to 1000 hours of art I've so flippantly given away.
    Art isn't free, and I can no longer make it free.
    I don't make money at work.
    I don't have enough money to continue living where I do.
    And therefor, my art can no longer be a gift every single time.
     
    I can't even begin to count the number of pieces that were called, "Favors".
    Favors I know I won't have returned.
     
    And no, I don't think art isn't meant to be shared, that isn't my point.
    I literally am broke. And such a place can't be free anymore.
    My dA never got much attention, my threads never did either. I don't suspect I'm a good artist, and I don't even think so myself. But have the decency to... well, I'm just going to stop there.
     
    I can't have friends who want me.
    My family doesn't want me. All I hear is what expectations I'm not living up to. Apparently a disappointment my mother and father that I'm not what they wanted. :/
    I can't get a single college to accept me.
     
    And I know, this post is exactly what I hate reading. I hate the self pity garbage I see every second on this forum. And I myself have made a few of those, regrettably. But I do believe as a last few words I am entitled to say what I feel.
     
    I don't know where I am going to go after this.
    I don't know what is left for me.
     
    Today started terribly.
    I woke up, and within 4 min. Someone had already said such a ridiculous and sarcastic comment about my FIRST comment I made for the day. (Which was agreeing to take a commission)
    Yet, they were offended, when all I said was YES.
    I removed all contact with them and people that know them.
    And all day, I've been... running.
     
    I've been depressed, I have been my whole life. But this last month I have hardly talked. I haven't eaten at all. I lost 12lbs in one week.
    My panic attacks are worse, my heart isn't fairing for the better, nor my back.
    I stay up for nights on end, and work full shifts every day for minimum wage and deal with people who just want to see my suffer.
    I'm at the point where I just hope my body shuts down.
    I hurt, and I just wish to be better.
     
    *Takes a deep breath and sighs*
     
    But hey. Don't expect me to leave on such a negative note.
    I'm not positive, but I don't believe I should leave a negative last few words for the few of you who may actually read this.
     
    ______________________________________________________________________
     
    TL;DR:
    The few of you I did get to know, I loved.
    I know none of you talk to me any more, and I get it. But the times we did have were enjoyable.
    You were the people that were closer to me than any human being has ever been.
    And soon I became your greatest enemy.
     
    I'd mention names, but none of you would ever see it. And only one of you is still on the forums anyways.
     
    I can still remember my first RP.
     
    I can still remember making some of you smile.
     
    I can still remember all the good that has happened to me.
     
    And I hope to walk out of here with those moments to hold onto.
     
    I leave still a Brony, just one who doesn't feel he can handle the community anymore. And I hope all of you can keep it up, dealing with each other day in and day out. With all the annoyances and nuances. You are most certainly more determined and understanding than I have been.
     
    I wished to leave with a picture, but I've already said that isn't possible. I may submit a drawing if I can one day. But by then most of you will be long gone, and the ones that see it won't understand the impact.
     
    I will however re-post my last anniversary pic right here. This years was going to be much bigger, and much better due to well, obvious improvement in pony art skills. But the image captured is just as good, the feeling I've experienced with you guys.
     

     
    Wherever life is taking me now, I don't know. Just know that you most certainly aren't forgotten.
     
    And as my last doodle for here. Please, if you will. Accept this unfinished sketch as a gift.
    My OC had changed a lot over the years, and it most certainly was shaped by this forum.
    He's as much apart of me as he is to these forums and wouldn't even exist if I hadn't been here.
     

     
    Thank you for these years~
     
    I'll be floating around the forums only through tonight, if you are wanting to chat, now's the time to do it.
  2. Acoustic Cloud
    I was raised, not born, but raised in California.
    And I'm no conspiracy nut, but here's a conspiracy.
     
    California has the most strict regulations of products and emissions.
    They love trying to fix the economy.
    And the state flag...

     
    I think we've had a communist driven state under our noses this whole time.

  3. Acoustic Cloud
    Working on a Graphic Novel, may need other people to help, I don't know yet.
    I have a story, I have characters, I don't have a large amount of time, and I may require some help on the art dept.
    But judging from this bland cover, what do you guys think?
     

  6. Acoustic Cloud
    I just wanted to show off the new children ^^
    Meet Jace and Clarabella, my adorable little ones~ (well, Clarabella has been around awhile but we just introduced Jace)
    And the awesome parents Rose Shimmer and Acoustic Cloud of course~
     

  8. Acoustic Cloud
    That's right, live stream art night! Be there or be square!
    It will start at the time above sharp! If the time changes, I will of course make alterations to let you know in advance. I will be accepting requests for pieces and this will continue until late in the night.
     
    Come prepared with requests! SFW! Please!
    http://www.ustream.tv/channel/josh-s-stuff
     

  9. Acoustic Cloud
    So, I was prompted on skype with this image:

     
    So I wrote a monologue to it. The whole thing is an ALLEGORY, so please don't be rude with what you put, this almost made me cry to write the whole thing because of what this meant to me IRL, so please respect my feelings here.
    http://joshuawickett.deviantart.com/art/Beautiful-Monologue-crying-C-395494902?ga_submit_new=10%253A1377325388
     
    To clarify, this is about someone I knew! So don't poke fun at this. Of course it wasn't a romance, but the character (Dash in this case) I made just like the person.
    *just realized this is similar to another blog post, any relation is purely coincidental.

  13. Acoustic Cloud
    Okay, well, I've decided to get out of my realism and move into a bit more of a caricature/cartoony style. I've never drawn anything with cartoons so I wanted to develop a new style and I'm still in the rough stages of making some new shapes. I really really suck at the cartoon muzzles and eyes, so any help with those would be awesome if you have some tips.
    http://joshuawickett.deviantart.com/art/New-Style-393856472
    Really... my muzzles suck! And I don't know how to make cartoon eyes! Help and critique is seriously appreciated.
  14. Acoustic Cloud

    When I'm Sad...

    By Acoustic Cloud,

    ...I draw; and today I drew always do. So... here's the picture I drew:
    http://joshuawickett.deviantart.com/art/When-tears-fall-393617093

    And he's singing one of my favorite songs:

    I listen and sing this when I'm sad, I could play it for hours on end. Anyways, hope you enjoy the pic and song.
  15. Acoustic Cloud
    So, in our town when the corn is nearly ready for harvest, this group outta town at the rodeo grounds carves out this giant corn maze. It's probably about 2 or 3 acres of twisty turns that are actually a picture and whatnot from the sky. But that's not the important part.
     
    Me and my two buds just decided to dress like slenderman.
     
    Now, I know what you are thinking, "slenderman isn't scary" well, you are right! But, nobody is going to expect 3 slendermen to be walking around seemingly, "teleporting". So just the other night we went to walmart and bought some pantyhoes. We are going to bleach them and that will create the faceless effect. I may even wear my suit.
    The best part, more often than not, is that it is raining and lightning out when the maze is open. I know it's a little over a month away, but the prep for it is going to be half the fun! I'll most definitely post the results on here! :3
     
    I actually just finished making a set of the 8 pages:
    Gonna dab them with tea to make them weathered.

  16. Acoustic Cloud

    Rec

    By Acoustic Cloud,

    Rec is a horror film shot in Spain. It was simplistic with no extra effects and nothing but senseless zombies and their habits. The style follows that of a horrible counterpart, Cloverfield, in that it is shot with a camcorder. And while the action was minimal, the spanish screaming was abundant as your ears nearly bled through the whole movie.
     
    IMDB:
    "REC" turns on a young TV reporter and her cameraman who cover the night shift at the local fire station. Receiving a call from an old lady trapped in her house, they reach her building to hear horrifying screams -- which begin a long nightmare and a uniquely dramatic TV report.
     
    So, while it wasn't the worst movie ever made, it could have been much better. The plot was dramatic and unreasonable, the characters were downplayed and weak, and it followed every cliché that a zombie movie could with predictable attacks and scares.
     
    ~All in all, if you have the chance to watch it with a buddy, the movie is worth the time for some conversation, but don't go out and spend money to go see it. Unfortunately, there is a sequel involving a swat team, but I am sure that it couldn't live up to any expectations if there ever were any.
    ~Personal: 6/10
    ~Imdb: 7.5/10
     



  17. Acoustic Cloud
    So this seems to come up, especially from my mother, all the time. I'll usually be in the middle of a conversation with someone over the web and I'll be summoned out of my room. And while I am trying to get back into my room my mother will usually respond with, "I think this is a little more important that talking."
     
    "But it is really important!"
     
    "I think I have invested more in your life that your so called 'friends', would they really be there for you when you need them?"
     
    "They are true friends."
     
    "And how would you know that?"
     
    To which I can't reply why because many things about me she doesn't know. Like how I failed a suicide attempt and came to the forums for help and some of my best friends from skype. Also the other time where I said I was going to go kill myself while I was home alone. People from the forum rushed to my aid without question and just wanted to help me.
     
    I can't tell her why people on the internet can mean so much to me; that I've shared so many beautiful moments with many people, and half of them I can't ever tell her. That means I still sit here while I am told that people on the internet aren't "real friends" and I have no way to defend myself against such a preposterous concept.
     
    I am fully aware it is healthier to have friends that you can meet up with physically. But it still goes to show, that you can still have just as good a relation with people at any distance with media nowadays. And for now, I wait, under the oppression of old ways of the past generations that don't understand new concepts.
  18. Acoustic Cloud
    Okay, so I've always viewed myself as a hipster (not the douchey kind), but I dislike Top 40/etc.
     
    I'm the kind of guy that likes to look across the internet and find fresh artists that people literally haven't heard of. I'll listen to their music for years without people even scratching the surface on their tracks. But... here is where the tragedy comes along.
     
    I'll be sitting around and perusing the internet as usual, then someone will post about how they found out about an artist they all of a sudden love! They become popular, or have been for a long time and all I can do is think to myself, "It's not new! Don't say it's new! Don't think about it being something you found out about! Get with the times, kid!" Then I get in a bit of a grumpy brawl with the person and my day goes on.
     
    Then, the cycle just repeats itself as I discover a new emerging artist with talent.
     
    The other thing that will get on my nerves is this...
    I will be listening to an artist I've just discovered and one of those conformist know nothings will come along and say, "woah, what are you listening to?" I'll quickly give them the name to which they reply, "oh yeah, I saw them on a magazine." This is where my blood boils.
     
    "Oh yeah, I'm sure you've seen a band with only 10 followers on a magazine you piece of lying crap!" They get pissy how they "thought" it was "someone else" and they go on to do it multiple times because they just want to look like they know something.
     
    So there you have it. The reason someone like me hates life just a little more than I already do.
  19. Acoustic Cloud
    I know I'm posting a lot about this, but I want to make this huge!
    Post your OC's at: http://mlpforums.com/topic/68740-dasheys-forum-anniversary-project-need-more-ocs/
     
    I want this canvas as giant as possible! So go on and post those OC's! I'm waiting eagerly.
  20. Acoustic Cloud
    I've been thinking of going by a different name for a while now. I'm not going to change it or anything, just be called by a new name is all. Anyways, here's where I could use some help (don't comment if you are just going to screw around). Many of you know my real name (it's on my profile if you care to know) but I want you to disregard it and just look at my picture and say a name I look like.
     
    Pic:
     
     
  21. Acoustic Cloud
    Alright, so I've been posting around, and so far I only have me and one other member in on this project.
    I need experience app development.
    Message me if you are interested. And we can proceed from there.
    EDIT:
    And yes, this app is for a profit.
  23. Acoustic Cloud
    So normally I don't post 2 blogs a night but I am going to do so tonight (I'd do three... but I'll save the 3rd one)
     
    So... Tonight, like most nights, I eat horribly.
     
    Tonight's snack:

    (I know what you are thinking... yes, it is delicious )
     
    Breakdown:
    5 large scoops of mint chocolate chip
    chocolate syrup
    cookies (not shown)
    An Ice cream bar. :9
     
    And I don't eat dessert often... but I eat sugar and carbs all day looooong. And I still weigh in at 142 lbs : P
     
    My worst food day was when I ate 3 MRE's and then gorged out at a gas station...
    My total calorie intake that day was: 8300 calories.
     
    Anywyas, I was just feeling a bit peckish and I felt like typing about food to make you guys a bit hungry too.
  24. Acoustic Cloud
    So... thanks to (http://mlpforums.com/blog/851/entry-5477-oh-god-why/) I have just remember why elementary/primary school kids have a horrible sense of humor...
    I remember 2 videos that were EXTREMELY popular when I was around the 3rd grade. (I don't know who the person is on the background... but they look like the guy in the muffin video.)
     
    Watch at your own risk.
     

     

     
    EDIT:
    Dear Lord, I found another one....

     
     
    I think this may be why I don't like young children...
  25. Acoustic Cloud
    Just think about it. If someone didn't come along and create those pony generators that pump out OC's. We'd have more art, much more original characters, money flowing through artists.
     
    With actual artwork being rendered, we wouldn't have deviantart full of those OC's... I'm here to personally say, "creating a generated pony and uploading it isn't art".
     

     
    Her name is Purple Dash, she flies 20x faster than rainbow dash, and is more powerful than celestia and luna combined. (See where these things go?) She is also an expert contortionist and she has a full body birthmark making her SUPER UNIQUE!
     
     
     
    I am sure by now you are looking at me going, "this guy isn't thinking about the people who can't afford to get their OC drawn". Well I'm getting there. All over the internet (this forum even) people like to do free requests, it's as simple as, "wanna draw my character?".
     
    So that's my rant for today.
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