Prof. Yana
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I will also post it here, but I could really use the views on my Fimfiction.net account, so if you would, could you read it here? When Rainbow Dash acquired a Daring Do costume when Berry Punch moved away, she figured she'd only be using it on Nightmare Night. But when Rarity is in dire need of emeralds for a special dress suit for Soarin', Rainbow Dash and Soarin' venture forth to retrieve them from the paparazzi infested Canterlot and are in need of disguises. While they're gone, Twilight learns that it's better to let your feelings out, rather than bottle them up. But are the feelings what she thinks they are? Written for the Twidash group's contest, Abandoned Fic Challenge. Anything before the first page break was not written by me. Pre-read/edited by Rainbow Skywalker Word count: 10,599.
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New chapter:
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New chapter.
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Wow, that was a good movie... Mind you, I haven't seen it since... When did it come out? May? Yeah, then. Anyway, I saw it at the midnight release, and I was dressed as Nick Fury. I wish I could have enjoyed the final action sequence more, but I had to desperately go to the bathroom.
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Okay, first things first, it's an interesting concept. Another thing is that you should always start a new paragraph when a new character speaks. It honestly at times left me guessing as to who was talking. That leads me into my next point, which is that their voices didn't always sound like they were talking. Here's an example of something that Dash said: I just don't feel like Dash would say that. Also, in that sentence 'no where' should be 'nowhere.' And 'Oh no Shy!' should be 'Oh no, Shy!' Anyway, I feel like Dash would say: These issues are present throughout the story, but they can be fixed. Anyway, other than that, there are some pacing issues, and characterization as well. The whole incident just felt like a casual conversation to me. I mean, I know that it was supposed to be emotional, but I just couldn't feel it. Fluttershy might be a bit more anxious about finding those things in the box, and Dash might not admit why she had them so readily. As I said, the concept is interesting, but we need to be more invested in the situation and the characters need to be more believable. If you had spent more time leading up to Fluttershy... I guess you could say breaking into Dash's house, along with more time foreshadowing Rainbow's suicidal thoughts and Fluttershy's feelings towards Rainbow, it could have been a lot better. Also, was this a romantic story? Because at the end, I couldn't tell if they were saying "I love you" as a friend or as something more. And when it says Fluttershy kissed Rainbow, I couldn't tell if it was on the cheek or on the lips. I'm gonna guess on the lips. Anyway, I'm rambling here. There were some grammatical issues as well. "Ponys" should be "Ponies." There were a few others, but that stuck out. To me, at least. Also, why was the box sitting on Dash's bed? Was she planning to use it? I think she would keep it under her bed or in a drawer or something. Anyway, there's not much more I can say. It is an interesting idea, but it could have been better if you fleshed it out a bit. Also, some of what I said may be biased, because TwiDash is my favorite ship, and I don't find anything else quite as believable. But I tried not to be too biased.
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Okay, after reading 9 pages of this thread, I have come to this conclusion: People are misunderstanding what Starswirl the Bearded's intentions were with his spell. He merely wanted to create a spell that could safely swap peoples' cutie marks. The way I understand it, is that he never learned enough about the relationship two ponies would have had to have for it to swap their cutie marks safely. His intentions were not to become an alicorn. If you actually listen to the incantation, you hear that it is entirely about swapping cutie marks, and nothing more. The reason that Twilight became a princess was due to a number of factors, all of which Princess Celestia pointed out. Here are some examples. And Just read what she said. It is not the specific spell that she created that matters, it's that she created a spell at all. They were already seriously considering making her a princess, but this was a final test of sorts. /rant Anyway, I really enjoyed this episode. In fact, I'd say that it's one of my all-time favorites. Definitely the best of Season 3. Behind it in Season 3 are The Wonderbolt Academy and Sleepless in Ponyville. The only real problem I have, is that at the beginning it was a bit jarring having so many different songs back-to-back. -
Twilight is fighting someone from her past she thought would never betray her. Rainbow Dash is fighting to forget someone from her past that already did betray her. Neither can win their battle alone. Maybe not alone, but together? I will also post it here in the spoiler, but I would appreciate it if you Favorite/read it FiMFiction.net, as I need the views. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/47527/rainbooms-of-the-forgotten-mind Pre-read/edited by Daetrin and Rainbow Skywalker New chapter. New Chapter.
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Hypnotize yourself to be a pony, links included
Prof. Yana replied to Gone for good's topic in Sugarcube Corner
Maybe I'll try again tomorrow, but I tried Twilight's and it made me feel incredibly relaxed. I'm not sure if it's the hypnosis or the relaxed state, but I was having some trouble with writing my fanfiction earlier, but I'm not having nearly as much trouble now. The words are flying off of my fingers in such a way that I can't describe other than that it feels amazing. Yeah, I'll definitely try it again tomorrow. -
Well... You could say I like Classic Rock. I own quite a few classic rock band t-shirts, I have 3920 classic rock songs in my music library, and I recently played Space Station #5 by Montrose in my school's annual Winter Show. I have also played in the last few years Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith, Custard Pie by Led Zeppelin, Same Old Song and Dance by Aerosmith, TNT by AC/DC, and I am planning on playing Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas in an upcoming show. So yeah, you could say I like classic rock...
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I'll post it in the spoiler, but I'd appreciate it if you read it on FiMFiction.net, because I could use the views. Twilight Sparkle walks home with a spring in her step. The blue sky fills the endless sky and the birds chirp away from their roosts in the lush trees. A cool breeze prickles Twilight's ears as she nears the library she calls home. Twilight has the perfect dinner date planned for her and Rainbow Dash. Nothing could go wrong, could it? Pre-read/edited by Daetrin and Rainbow Skywalker
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writing Come One, Come All! To The Prof. Yana Writing Master-Thread!
Prof. Yana posted a topic in Non-Pony Art & Creations
Hello and welcome! You seem to have stumbled upon my secret lair! Or my humble abode! Whatever you want to call it, it doesn't really matter! It is here in this very thread that I shall post anything and... Well, anything, frankly. Whether it be writing prompts or mere writing exercises, it will go in here! Criticism is welcome and even recommended! Because as they say, whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. None of you plan to kill me, right? Right?! Anyway, to start us off, I will post a visualization exercise that I wrote earlier today! What I was trying to describe will be in the second spoiler. This is unedited. I memorized a picture of what I was describing, then didn't let myself look at it until I was finished. And without further ado! Thanks for reading! Goodnight everybody, and see you next time! -
Probably buy a new electric guitar. If there was any leftover money, I'd probably spend it on video gaming or snowboarding. I love all three of those activities.
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Well, you could say that... I've put well over 200 hours into Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World, around 200 hours into Skyrim, at least 100 hours into Oblivion and Morrowind, over 100 hours into the original Tales of Symphonia, 90 hours into Tales of Vesperia, around 60 or 70 hours in Grand Theft Auto IV, and around the same in San Andreas.
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Don't touch that, it's mine!
Prof. Yana replied to Arcus (Silver Lining) Wind's topic in General Discussion
Well, I suppose you could say I have two things. One is my guitar; I'm really cautious when other people are touching it and I make sure they're handling it correctly. The other is my TV at my school. You see, there is this area at my school where you, after you're certified, you can bring a TV and play video games on it. I'm a certifier (as we call it) for it. Anyway, I like having my TV in a certain position on the table, and I swear, whenever someone else uses my TV, they always move it around, it's actually quite annoying. -
Okay, here's the situation: I have uploaded a story that I'm currently rewriting. It was only two chapters long at the time, so that's not really a problem. In the process of rewriting, I found I wasn't satisfied with the second chapter, so I want to change most of it. I don't want to spoil it for any unsuspecting readers (it currently has 155 favorites on FiMFiction) so this will have to happen in PMs. I know it's unlikely that any readers will also happen upon this topic, but you can never be too careful. Anyway, it's not standard fluffy TwiDash romance, it has other elements as well, which I will divulge further in PMs. I already have most of the story at large figured out, but no chapter specifics. Heck, you could even be a proofreader if you please, the point is, I need some help. I haven't uploaded the first chapter of the rewrite yet (it's still in pre-reading/editing), but I'll link you the old version if anyone asks. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
