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  1. Standard User

    Pony Hypnosis

    By Standard User,

    I don't really know how to begin this post, to be honest...so lemme just start from the start.
     
    Through various sources, I found my way to a Google Doc with a list of audio files that, when listened to, would suggest to the listener that they had the body, features, and personality of a particular pony. I like to think I have an open mind (which is necessary for hypnosis), but I also know that my mind moves at a very rapid pace and I would have difficulty concentrating on the voice, let alone believe it. But I thought "Well why the hell not?", downloaded a Rainbow Dash file that lasted about 21 minutes, relaxed on the couch, and pressed play.
     
    I only remember little bits and pieces of those 21 minutes. It was...weird.
     
    HOLY FUCK. Sorry. Uh, I'm listening to music right now, and it shuffled to the audio file, and the voice is REALLY creepy. (Now back to our regularly scheduled blaug post.)
     
    So during the countdown, I felt my body go through little jumps or hop down little ledges from five to one. And when it reached one, my body just...shut down. I couldn't move, at all. And then the voice started telling how my fingers and toes were "smoothing out" into "beautiful hooves", and I lost all feeling in my fingers. They felt like...well, like I imagined a hoof would feel. A breeze was going by my feet, though, so that part didn't really work.
     
    When the voice started telling me how my jaw and tongue were elongating into a muzzle, my tongue started pulling inside my mouth of it's own accord. Blah. THAT was freaky.
     
    Those were really the highlights of the audio file portion of my journey. The last couple of minutes were used to teach a phrase: "I'm an awesome pony!" The theory was that this phrase will make my mind and body revert to my "new pony body". Then, when I needed to feel like me again, I only needed to say "Revert to normal." So after I finished the file, I took a breather and said "I'm an awesome pony." And the fingers on my left hand pulled shut, and it was extremely difficult to move them at all. Of course I freaked out, so I said "Revert to normal" and my hand completely relaxed and my fingers opened.
     
    I know that there will be those who don't believe this (I didn't believe it to start), but I can only say that this is all truth. I'm going to explore this more and see if I can get the phrase to do more other than mess with the muscles in my left hand.
     
    Anyways...yeah. Hypnosis.
     
    - Kolth
  2. Standard User
    Well, I sailed right on by my two year anniversary of me joining the Forums and formally becoming a member of this amazing community. I think this little slip-up says a lot about my personality and my relationship with this fandom nowadays.
     
    I'm busy -- I'll get the obvious out of the way first. I imagined college as being rather like the adult version of high school (again, fairly obvious), which meant for me that I would have lots of time to mess around on the Internet in between the odd homework "assignment." Not true, first off. College work alone is keeping me on my toes, not to mention the three big organizations I am now apart of, one of which is a national fraternity and one of which I legally can't tell you what exactly we do.
     
    But really, I just...don't see as much of a point in participating in this community anymore. I mean, everyone else is tackling the music, the art, the stories, the theories, and all the rest of the ways creative people express themselves. I'm not one that can just admire these works of art and be content. I have to try my own hand at them, and with my skill set, that means writing. And writing is freaking time consuming, especially considering that I am a perfectionist.
     
    So I'm stuck with a burning desire to create and no time to do it with. I can't feel comfortable here otherwise.
     
    Now, this isn't turning into a "I have to take a break from you guys for a while, brb" or the dreaded "I'm done with this fandom, baibai." It's simply an acknowledgement of the fact that I'm drifting back into the awkward lurker phase of pre-Bronydom. It's a lot easier to just poke in on occasion and see what is awesome and new rather than be in the thick of things all of the time like I once was.
     
    Aside from this creative outlet problem, I love volunteering for stuff that I love, and I managed to screw up that as well.
     
    Way back in June, I interviewed for the position of Public Relations Head with Feld0. It was my first-ever Skype interview and, to be honest, my first job interview as well. Looking back, I messed up pretty big on some key questions and topics, but frankly, I'm glad that I did. I would have made a really, really bad PR head because of the issue that I brought up above: time. Namely, not having enough of it. Thankfully, I made it onto the PR team regardless, but...I just didn't see my purpose again. It was like, yeah, I know I need to be the guy who manages the Twitter accounts and connects with people and all that jazz, but it really wasn't for me. So I just left it there, and that was my big goof. I should have went to my boss and said that I didn't feel right in that position, if only to acknowledge that I was really falling off of the ball. But I'm off that team now, and I'm okay with it.
     
    Likewise, I applied for moderator a few weeks ago. I don't know why I wasn't picked (if I remember correctly, all applicants should have gotten a personal email detailing why they were/weren't chosen or something), but I can safely assume I would have choked on that position as well. Again--time.
     
    I kind of lost track of where I was going with all of this. Oh well.
     
    Long story short, I feel like I'm drifting away from the fandom, but not in a "I'm never coming back" or "I'm totally disconnected" thing. It's more of a "If I don't have something big to work towards, I'm not 'right' here" combined with "I don't have time to work on anything big." So maybe right now isn't the best time for me to even bother with pastel horses. Or maybe I need to renew my faith (for lack of a better term) in my own abilities and skills that I can offer this community.
     
    I dunno, man. I miss when I first joined the Forums and I found myself on game design teams as storywriter and working on fics and editing other peoples' stories and just being me within this massive creative outlet. And when I'm not creative, I don't feel right.
     
    I don't even know what I'm saying or where I'm going with this, anymore. Maybe I shouldn't be writing blaug posts at 1:00AM. Or maybe I need to do this more often...
     
    Regardless, I have officially been with this Forum for two years and sixteen days. I've done a whole helluva lot here since then, and I plan on doing a whole helluva lot more. I just need the time and the opportunity.
    -Kolth
  3. Standard User
    Hey, anyone bothering to read this.
     
    So I suppose there are two types of people: those who remember me from when I...y'know, actually did stuff here, and new people who are just discovering blogs or something. To that, I have two things to say:
     
    To those who know me:
    I'm not dead, and I'm not gone. This past summer and my subsequent transition to college life has been absolutely hectic. As you can probably tell already, I was removed from the Public Relations team for inactivity (although there are a few excuses reasons I have for that which I feel are legitimate; the truth is I honestly have little time to devote to a team that requires more than a little time commitment). I haven't written anything, pony or otherwise, in forever (but, honestly, what's new?) And I hardly ever post (I'm honestly amazed I ever broke the 1,000 mark with my random spats of posting). Regardless, I am here, I am not dead, and I do plan on returning sometime soon as the active member I once was.
     
    To those who do not know me or do not remember:
    I'm not creepy. Come into my unmarked white van. I have a candy and some puppies.
     
     
    Now then, on to some new stuff:
     
    To those who want to talk, catch up, or whatever:
    Now that I'm at college and have fast Internet, I am discovering the wonder that is multiplayer gaming. Add me on Steam (Steam name should be kolth_gp, but you can probably find me as Not Garrett), let me know you're from the Forums, and let's game. If you don't wanna game, feel free to chat me up. I'm a desperate loser who needs friends
     
    To those who want to keep tabs on my life...for whatever reason:
    I started a blog. I rarely use my blog. But I do have a blog. If people looked at it, it would actually give me a reason to post about the interesting stuff I do and/or stuff I find online.
     
    To

    . 
     
    Good to (sort of) be back.
     
    -Kolth
  4. Standard User
    Seriously, these questionnaires are getting a tad ridiculous. I thought these were relegated to Facebook notes.
     
    Pick your Artist:
    blink-182
     
    Gender:
    Man Overboard
    Describe yourself:
    Story of a Lonely Guy
    How do you feel:
    Wasting Time
    Describe where you currently live:
    This Is Home
    If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
    Another Girl, Another Planet
    What is your occupation:
    Online Songs
    Your favorite form of transportation:
    Roller Coaster
    Your best friend is:
    Pretty Little Girl
    You and your best friends are:
    What's My Age Again?
    What's the weather like:
    Red Skies
    Favorite time of day:
    After Midnight
    If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
    Dammit (Growing Up)
    What is life to you:
    Life's So Boring
    Your fear:
    Alone
    How I would like to die:
    The Girl Next Door
    My motto:
    Give Me One Good Reason
     
     
    I WIN. THANK GOD FOR BLINK-182'S VARIED SONG TITLES.
  5. Standard User
    Bad news, y'all.
     
    So the Boy Scouts just began enforcing a new rule, requiring a whole new merit badge be completed for the Eagle Scout rank. Of course, I dilly-dallied long enough that this new rule now applies than me, and I have less than a month to get it (among other things). In an effort to not be a failure, I'm going to be trying to stay away from the Forums and my projects and everything.
     
    I realize that, for a few of my projects, this is a bad time, and I profusely apologize. I'll still try to help as much as I can, but for the foreseeable future I'll be MIA for the most part.
     
    Thanks,
    -Kolth
  6. Standard User
    ...and it didn't turn out too terrible. I think. Sorry for the bad quality -- that scanner is all the way on the other side of the house...like, forty steps away. That is simply too much work.
     
    Anyway, I'm gonna doodle some more, try some different poses and facial expressions (this fluffy was drawn by following a simple tutorial) over the next couple of days/weeks. My big problem with this drawing was that I started small, so fitting details and stuff (cough right eye cough) proved to be annoying.
     
    Regardless, enjoy. Try not to let your eyes bleed too much.
     
     
     
     
    -Kolth
  7. Standard User

    You Guys

    By Standard User,

    You've made me waste over 1,000 posts worth of my time. You've made me waste over 1,300 brohoofs worth of posts. And, as of roughly 45 minutes ago, you've made me waste 100 days of my time lurking around these Forums.
     
    ...
     
    And I wouldn't have it any other way. Here's to another 100 days of me poking my nose into other people's business and begging for (non-existent) story views. I luv u guize <3
     
    -Kolth
  9. Standard User
    [Forewarning: I'm not the best at internet rants. This could see some minor or major edits in the future.]
     
    Normally I'm not one to drag out any argument or disagreement longer than it possibly needs to be, and I hope that this post doesn't fan the flames, so to speak. Rather, I have an opinion on recent events and a solution to the problem that was apparently brought to light.
     
    There was a rather controversial topic that was posted a few days ago and, after a degeneration of productivity, locked by staff. No, I'm not bringing up any personal grievances that were addressed in that topic. Rather, I'm calling attention to one particular part of the subject that was given special attention: the matter of the "livelihood" of this website and, among other things, a lack of attention given to new members.
     
    Looking back over it, I see one point being argued repeatedly: new members are not being treated with the same respect given to "senior" members. I can totally see where this argument comes from: often when I post in a Welcome Mat I am followed by Muffin-, Parasprite-, and similar-ranked forum members as opposed to older members. I just checked on my Welcome Mat topic, my first post on this forum. I didn't know anybody, and nobody knew me. (Using current ranks), an administrator, a Muffin, a Butterfly, and a Bird all commented on my post. These were high-ranking members, and they were taking an interest in me. And these weren't just "Hey, enjoy the site" comments. The majority pertained to what I had said in my initial post. I remember how nervous I was with that first post -- what if I messed up? What if I said something wrong? This place seemed really awesome, and the last thing I wanted to do was make a social pariah out of myself before I even officially conversed with anyone.
     
    But you know what happened? Those replies made me feel welcome. They made me feel like I could be a part of a community, of something bigger than myself. I felt like I could speak my mind and I wouldn't be laughed at or insulted or flat-out ignored. In short, those first few replies were the reason I stuck around in the first place.
     
    What would have happened if those replies were any different, or had never existed in the first place? Well, I can take an educated guess: I would have lost interest in the site within a few days due to being too nervous of making a fool of myself to post. I never would have continued writing, and I wouldn't have met some of my best friends. My life would be definitely different -- and definitely worse -- than what it is now.
     
    Think back to your Welcome Mat topic, if you posted one. Who commented on it? Did that have any influence on you sticking around this site? But, of course, the Welcome Mat is not the only "make-or-break" point for whether or not a new member will stick around. They need to be included in all aspects of the site, and that means the discrimination of lower-ranked members needs to come to an end. And while "discrimination" may seem a strong term, but to me it seems fitting. As was brought up in the above-linked topic, a status update or an art post created by a newer and/or relatively low-ranked member is often ignored, while higher-ranked and aged members can expect many replies and views. That isn't to be unexpected; we know how to interact with these people because we've seen them around enough.
     
    This needs to change, and for one important reason: it is the right thing to do.
     
    I'm not saying we need to hightail it over to the Welcome Mat, and I'm not saying that we need to start ignoring the forum members we've come to know and love. All I'm asking is that, when you see a new member post a status, remember that it takes only ten seconds to make a reply. It doesn't need to be anything fancy -- just let that user know that they are recognized in the community, that they aren't just another statistic or avatar that occasionally appears on the front page.
     

     
    In a similar vein, an issue involving the arts around the site was brought up. Many submissions get a quick one sentence reply similar to "Wow this is good, you're so good at drawing." That helps no one, especially the artist. Be a responsible forumgoer and formulate your true opinion. I've told users before that their art could use work (in a friendly manner, of course) and suggested points of improvement. You know what happened? The user was gracious for my true opinion and resolved to try again. Whether they used my advice or not is anyone's guess, but I made some new friends and helped a fellow member. That goes a lot farther than an empty compliment.
     
    Oh, and don't like how people are critiquing? Then go out and critique the art yourself. And before someone calls me a hypocrite, yes, I have taken my own advice. I just don't dip into the arts section as often as I really should.
     

     
    As a closing piece, I want to say this to everyone who was in the above linked thread: keep all the flaming and hating that went on there out of here. I'm posting this to restate my concerns and opinions and nothing more. Comments that do not degrade other members or their opinions are more than welcome.
     
    Thank you for reading through this poorly formed rant.
     
    -Kolth
  10. Standard User
    So I've been poking around in this thread and it got me thinking about when I first joined the site and, by extension, when I first came into the whole "pony" business.
     
    I remember the first pony-centered site I ever visited, months before I would ever watch the show: FiMFiction. I found out about that glorious site whilst reading through Fallout Equestria and decided to give it a shot. Not knowing what to expect, I tapped up on the search bar and checked out the tags. For some reason, I was smitten with the "Romance" tag, so I found a couple short stories and dug in.
     
    These were some weird characters. Apparently there was some white unicorn who spoke in an English accent and a rainbow pony who everyone seemed to think was a lesbian. Don't get me started on the hick family or the sugar-addict. All in all, it was a weird time. But it was also a glorious time. I was discovering all of these characters not through the show but through the eyes and minds of people who loved it. These characters had surprising depth and feeling and, for the most part, similar characteristics carried between stories. These were interesting and fresh to me, and that summer was spent scrolling through FiMFiction on my little smartphone's screen.
     
    Then I watched the show and all of my newly established headcanon's went to shit. The end.
     
    -Kolth
  11. Standard User
    So far this year:
     
    * I inserted the phrase "Sexual Tyrannosaurus" into an English paper. It was one of the most popular papers in class. Yes, I got a good grade on it.
     
    * A World Civilizations paper contained a lengthy analogy between Michael Bay's Transformers and the ancient Greek phalanx formation. People can turn into giant death turtles too.
     
    * I got to type part of my English paper (different from the above-mentioned paper) by bashing my head into the keyboard repeatedly. Yes, I got a good grade on it.
     
     
    So come on, issue me some challenges. Give me phrases or analogies that you want to see worked into an actual assignment. Of course, I can't realistically fit in a "Pinkie Pie and a can of Silly Putty" analogy into a paper about genetic modifications, but I can damn sure try. I'll consider my job complete when I get called in for a private meeting with the teacher.
     
    HELP ME HERE, GUYS. I WANT TO LAUGH.
     
    - Kolth
  12. Standard User

    Off On An Adventure

    By Standard User,

    So I just bought Pokemon Y and am about to power up my brand-new 3DS.
     
    This made me think of the last time I played a Pokemon game: I had the strategy guide, I looked up all the info for every route and city and opponent. The game became a grinding fest until I could get to post-game content.
     
    Not this time.
     
    I'm gonna go in totally blind, aside from the occasional snapshot I've seen online. I know next to nothing about the starters, the legendaries are truly a mystery, and I've heard rumors about a "Fairy"-type.
     
    THIS is what I want my gaming to be from now on: not knowing what's going to happen next. I want to be surprised, I want to be disappointed by a sudden and difficult encounter only to surmount the odds and return victorious. I want to be an adventurer.
     
    This is also what I want my writing to be. I want to make it exciting, to make it mysterious, to give the reader that little chill and heart-thumping that signals the beginning of something epic.
     
    Damn I'm getting philosophical. Time to go tell the professor whether I'm a boy or a girl.
     
    -Kolth
  13. Standard User
    So I've seen enough (read: two) of those little questionnaire-things that I decided to do one about myself. Enjoy.
    1. Any scars? - I have one on my left knee from when I wiped out hard on my bike as a kid (cool story that involves me racing my sister who was on an ATV). I have this weird red spot on my left palm that I claim is a scar because, at one time, it was a wound.
    2. Relationship status? - Bachelor life, yo.
    3. Crush? - Does Sunset Shimmer count? No? Aww.
    4. Kissed anyone? - Eeyup.
    5. Coke or Pepsi? - Either, although I'm moving away from soda.
    6. Someone you hate? - An easier question is who do I enjoy.
    7. Best Friends? - Real life: Josh and Elias. Forums: bro, @The Pulse, , and countless others. Internet people are so much nicer than real-life people.
    8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? - Nope and never will.
    9. What's your dream job? - An astronaut who writes fiction stories and travels through dimensions to shoot aliens an' shit.
    10. Ever been in love? - Objective question, but yeah, I guess so.
    11. Last time you cried? - BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY
    12. Favorite color? - Probably forest green.
    13. Height? - About 6'1"
    14. Birthday? - March 4th (the only month/day of the year that can stand on its own as a sentence!)
    15. Eye color? - They change color between green and blue.
    16. Hair color? - Dirty blonde.
    17. What do you love? - Book of poetry, nice glass of Scotch, and of course my friend Baxter here. Nah, I love writing/creating, running, and being alone.
    18. Obsession? - Probably ponies is my worst offense, and even then I keep it in check.
    19. If you had one wish, what would it be? - More wishes. More genies to grant me MORE wishes.
    20. Do you love someone? - I'm a senior in high school; what's the point?
    21. Kiss or hug? - Hugs, definitely.
    22. Nicknames people call you? - Kulth and Garebear are the two big ones.
    23. Favorite song? - This changes so often.
    24. Favorite band? - I don't listen to bands, I listen to songs.
    25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? - Again, objective. I dunno, lots of crappy things have happened but they've all been offset by me looking on the bright side in the end.
    26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? - When I look at other people's lives, I realize how much has been gifted to me. So the best thing would be everything, I suppose.
    27. Something you would change about yourself? - Just change some things about my looks. I like my intelligence, personality, skills, etc.
    28. Ever dated someone? - Eeyup.
    29. Worst mistake? - Same problem as my dad: I trust and forgive really easily. My worst mistake has to do with that.
    30. Watch the movie or read the book? - Read the book, definitely. Hands down.
    31. Ever had a heartbreak? - Yeah, but again, it's high school romance-drama. Who cares in the end?
    32. Favorite show? - No favorites, but I don't watch a whole bunch of television.
    33. Best day of your life? - Always tomorrow, because that means the assassins failed while I slept.
    34. Any talents? - I've been told I'm a damn good writer. The problem is coming up with something to write about. I'm also a decent runner and public speaker.
    35. Do you wish you could ever start over? - Nope. The head dude at my running camp gave my tent this quote of his to memorize: "Take the cards you're dealt without complaining or jealousy or envy and bloom where you're planted." It's been a year-and-a-half since I saw that quote one time written down and I can still say it off the top of my head.
    36. Any bad habits? - I'm overly lazy and am getting senioritis. I also have a habit of not following through on deals I make with other people, but I'm trying to fix that.
    37. Ever had a near death experience? - Yup. I almost bled out in the bottom of a canyon at running camp this year. They said that if the cut had been a few centimeters to the side I would have severed an artery and almost definitely died.
    38. Someone I can tell anything to? - Forum-wise, Queenie and Swick. In real life, I don't have much of anyone. The closet would be Josh and even then I don't tell him much about my personal life.
    39. Ever lost a loved one? - My great-grandma, one of a very small number of relatives that I could stand to be around, died a few years ago. Other than that, not really.
    40. Do you believe in love? - It's all chemicals in our brain that we've given a name to.
    41. Someone you hate/Dislike? - Pretty sure this question was already asked...but yes, there are many people that I hate/dislike.
    42. Are you okay? - Never been better!

  14. Standard User
    In my English class, we have to write these essays called Occasional Papers. We are meant to take a simple question or topic and continually ask "So what?" and "What now?" The paper I just wrote concerns how fear is the base human instinct that dictates our entire social structure, and that I'll gladly admit to watching MLP if it means I'm not "afraid" of repercussions. I got that out of "What happens if I decide not to write this paper?" But that's not what this blog is about.
     
    The first OP of the year was by my very good friend Josh. Josh is quirky, intelligent, and oh-so-funny. He's also a ginger, but that is beside the point. And his paper was about me. With his permission, I've reposted it here. After reading this, I was proud to call him my pal.
     
     
    Point haters in the direction of this paper. Hopefully they'll change their tune. And thanks, Josh. You're the best pal a guy could ask for.
     
    - Kolth
  15. Standard User
    Picking up from last time, I decide to search for a flaming death-horse. I head off to Route 103, where my first encounter is...a Wobbuffet. A Pokemon that I had never cared for (in terms of strategy or general likableness), I KO the wobble-Fett and continu my search.
     
    My second encounter is, thankfully, a Ponyta. A quick Scratch from Swickbro, however, KO's the pony in one shot. In addition, Swickbro levels up, meaning that it will now be basically impossible to whittle a Ponyta's HP down enough to where I can possibly catch it.
     
    So no flaming death horse? *sigh*
     
    To make matters worse, Swickbro learns the move Taunt from that Ponyta. What, you mock my inability to catch a flaming death-horse? For shame, Swickbro.
     
    Realizing that my efforts are futile, I move west from Oldale Town to Route 104. Before proceeding to my first Trainer battle (the kid looked sketchy as balls), I decide to run around in the tall grass to see what Pokemon the Generator put here.
     
    Unfortunately, the Nidorina that I first find poisons poor Swickbro. A quick run back to the Pokemon Center...
     

    What a terrible thing to say in a hospital.
     
    ...and I'm back in the running. Let's see what other Pokemon are SWEET CELESTIA'S BEARD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT
     

    FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
     
    OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT IS A CELEBI OH MY GOD CELEBI IS SO WEAK BUT STILL A LEGENDARY OH MY GOOOOOOD
     
    ...*ahem* Regardless, Swickbro (who I have now given a second nickname to: The Harbinger of Death, Doom, Destruction, and Disaster) manages to put the Celebi's HP into the yellow with one hit. On my next move, I throw a Pokeball and hope for the best...
     
    ...and the Celebi breaks free almost instantly. Rats. It further mocks me by using Recover to heal completely. I try Scratch again, but -- as every Pokemon player loathes -- the game decides to give me a critical hit right then. The Celebi goes down for the count.
     
    Thankfully, I haven't run out of opportunities to catch the Time Travel Pokemon. The Generator will still spawn Celebi's even after I manage to catch one (IF I manage to catch one).
     
    With two Pokemon mocking me thus far in my journey, I continue on to my first Trainer battle.
     

    No, I just want to destroy the world with Swickbro. Get outta my way.
     
    Youngster Calvin's sole Pokemon, a Slowpoke, makes me laugh. Since when has a Slowpoke given anyone trouble?...and then it uses Yawn on me, which would make Swickbro fall asleep at the end of the next turn (if I didn't two-hit KO the Slowpoke). If that had been paralysis or a faster-acting move, that battle could've ended badly: just goes to show that you can't be too prepared with this Random Generator. I mug Calvin for $80 and continue on. Bug Catcher Rick similarly falls to Swickbro's mighty Scratch.
     

    Don't eat the blue apples, man.
     
    Ooh, berries! Since any battle may result in sleep, paralysis, poison, or any number of unfriendly status conditions, I decide that cultivating berries might actually be of use in this playthrough. I pick two Oran berries (which heal HP) and two Pecha berries (which heal poison). These'll surely be useful sometime soon.
     

    Celebi mocks me, my own Pokemon mocks me, and now you mock me?!
     
    Youngster Allen hasn't left a good first impression on me, so I make sure to beat his Venasaur into the ground as quickly as possible. This speedy battle levels Swickbro up to level 12:
     

    Started from the bottom, now my whole team...well, my one Pokemon. But still.
     
    I notice that both Swickbro's Defense and Special Defense leave much to be desired. Thankfully, his frail outside covers the heart and mind of a fierce warrior (basically, he has a nice Attack/HP combination). If I encounter a Pokemon that Swickbro is weak to, we're gonna have a bad time. I really should catch some more Pokemon.
     
    Allen's second Pokemon, an Exeggcute, also falls to Swickbro's savagery. I pocket the punk's $48, wondering if I have enough money yet to buy my own cruise ship. I'll need some place to hide while Swickbro devours the world.
     
    It is when I encounter Lass Tiana that I regret checking to randomize Pokemon's palette colors.
     

    Ho-ho-ho, Green Giaaant~
     
    I have never found reason to laugh out loud in a Pokemon game, but the Generator has done that. A Nidoking is normally cause for mild concern, but a level 4 lime green Nidoking is just too funny. One hit and Swickbro levels up AGAIN -- now 13.
     
    Normally, I'd have a level 13 Pokemon by about the first gym leader fight. I still have a whole city, a route, and a dungeon-like forest to go through before even REACHING the first gym. Regardless, Swickbro learns Quick Attack, now giving him a full set of four moves.
     
    Woah, a Metagross next?
     

    haha metagros has bandages on his face probly from shaving or somethin haha
     
    As one of the strongest Steel-type Pokemon, a Metagross can be a problem. Thankfully, Swickbro has such a higher level that despite using "not very effective" attacks, we can still beat the metal lug.
     
    Also, Lass Tiana is a huge bitch. Anyone who has played Emerald might know what I'm talking about. Thanks for furthering my career, you jerk.
     
    Tiana is the last Trainer on this route before reaching the next city:
     

     
    Petalburg City, huh? Mom said something about a television show that featured dad. Apparently he works in Petalburg.
     
    I kill two birds with one stone by healing at the Pokemon Center and checking for dad there. Nope, unless dad looks like Nurse Joy. THAT would be creepy. I similarly find no sign of my old man at the Poke Mart. There's only one other building in town that isn't a house...the Pokemon Gym.
     
    I walk inside and, lo and behold, dad is standing there like he freaking owns the joint.
     

    JERKFACE
     
    Wait, what?! Really?! What is with no one's parents supporting them?!
     
    (NEXT: Wally Wally Wally.)
  16. Standard User
    So I just had my senior pictures taken, and might I say: they look pretty awesome. The photographer is somethin' else, and the lighting was perfect, and the setting was neat...y'know how it goes.
     
    My mother wants to get (among other things) a book of my senior pictures. Spread among these pictures will be a spattering of quotes. And that's where I want to go nuts.
     
    My sister got the same book for her pictures. Her quotes are all inspirational and "Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" and all that bullcrap. I want two things:
     
    Funny quotes and pony quotes.
     
    I already have a few ideas, but I want your guys' input too: what are some quotes from the show that don't sound like pony quotes but are indeed quotes from the show? They just need to be semi-inspirational or cool or whatever. Y'know, something you'd keep in a book of memorabilia.
     
    I also want to put a GLaDOS quote in there, but I don't know which...
     
    - Kolth
  17. Standard User
    And by "coming up", I mean tomorrow.
     
    So if you live in the Northwest, you might have heard of Hood to Coast. It is a 195-mile, twelve-man team running event that goes from (SPOILER ALERT) Mt. Hood to the Pacific coast.
     
    The high school version is Portland to Coast, which is significantly shorter but still way too long. And I got dragged into it this year.
     
    Shiiiiiit.
     
    Since I haven't experienced it before, I'm gonna sum it up as best as I can: two vans, six teens in each. A lot of food and Gatorade. One guy running at 3:00 in the morning while the other five feign sleep. Oh, and more food. And hills. And bears. And Northwest stuff. And people pretending to be bears. And I'M GONNA BE RUNNING IN MY BOXERS WOOHOO
     
    ...well, I'm definitely going to shoot for that last bit. Hopefully I don't get in a crazy fistfight with a bear.
     
    - Kolth
     
    EDIT: If you wanna catch me during the race, I'm running legs 18 and 30. If you have a hose nearby, I'd love it if you'd cool me off.
  18. Standard User
    I mean, I knew before today that I was awkward as hell. But geez, it really hit me after this afternoon.
     
    We have this game store in town -- Video Game Wizards, if you care about names. VGW has their main store set up in Portland, the biggest town in Oregon. They built their second of two stores in my little backwater hick town. Still have no idea why.
     
    My pal and I stopped in VGW's hick store on Monday to solicit them for donations for our senior project. While in there, I noticed two things:
     
    1: Super Smash Bros. for the N64 was only $40.
     
    2: The assistant behind the counter was REALLY cute.
     
    Honestly, I was on the fence regarding which of those two things was most interesting to me at the time. (Oh, I totally bought SSB, by the way.)
     
    (Before I continue, I wanted to at least touch on this. Normally I'm attracted to "preppy" or "nerdy" girls. This assistant was a scene/emo girl, though that mostly translated to a bit of eye shadow and semi-dyed hair. Hardly scene, really, but you could tell who her friends were from her looks. Yeah, my town falls into cliques really easily.)
     
    The owner said that she is holding a meeting this Thursday to discuss the upcoming Retro Gaming Expo in Portland, which VGW helps to put on. She said that volunteers would be appreciated. Naturally, my buddy and I expressed our interest. And so passed Monday.
     
    It was Tuesday when I realized that we had no idea when the meeting was. I tried stopping in the store again by myself, but neither the owner or her cute assistant were working.
     
    And then came today.
     
    I wasn't actually planning on stopping in today at all -- frankly, I had forgotten about the Expo already. But I was stood up for a movie date (with my best pal), so I figured that while I was in town I might as well stop by.
     
    The owner wasn't working there. But the cute girl was. My body decided to put all of my skill points into Awkward right then.
     
    I said a quick "hello" on the way in. I forgot why I entered the store at all because WOW she was cute. So I decided to stall for time. I immediately began browsing the XBOX games.
     
    I don't own an XBOX.
     
    I maneuvered my way over to the N64 games.
     
    Which I had just picked through on Monday.
     
    I saddled on over to the wall of old PC games.
     
    Only true nerds browse that part of the store.
     
    And this whole time the assistant girl alternates between doing her job and casting glances in my direction. Finally, I remembered why I came. But the little flyers for the Expo (which was going to be my "Oh hey, now that you mention it" conversation started) were right by the cashier, and a couple people were in line trying to haggle game prices. So I went to the other side of the counter where the Gameboy and Nintendo DS games were displayed and began peeking at those.
     
    I guess I was looking a little too long, as the cute girl leaned over the counter and informed me that if I needed anything, she would have to unlock the display case. So now she thought I was an idiot, too. Nice.
     
    I told her that I was just browsing, and she resumed ignoring me. Finally I ducked around the line of people, awkwardly grabbed a few of the Expo flyers, and resumed my stance at the display case.
     
    So now I had no conversation starter. And then I realized that the cute assistant girl was fairly new and probably wouldn't even know when the meeting was, which would just be more awkward.
     
    FINALLY my body listened to my panicking brain and high-tailed it out of there. After leaving, I looked at my watch: I had spent a good 45 minutes in there, not saying anything to anyone, instead looking at the same three spots in the store over and over while trying to look interested.
     
    And I still don't know when the meeting is. I'll probably stop by tomorrow morning.
     
    Maybe the cute assistant will be working there.
     
    - Kolth
  19. Standard User
    So last week I was at Steens High Altitude Running Camp. For those who don't know western United States geography (because, honestly, who doesn't), the Steens Mountains are in southeast Oregon. From the top of the mountain (about 10,000 feet, if I remember correctly) you can see Idaho and Nevada. Oh, and if you aren't in the mountains, you're in the high desert. And the high desert is flat. As. Hell.
     
    I hate flat. But I also hate hills. Y'know, runner problems.
     
    This was my second year at the camp, and it was much hotter than last year. The town of Frenchglen at the base of the mountain reached almost 100 degrees Fahrenheit. But I still had my long underwear on at night. It got pretty chilly.
     
    Anyway, I suppose I can take this day by day...trust me, Thursday was pretty awesome.
     

    Sunday
     
    I rode a bus for eight hours. It overheated multiple times, reaching temperatures of OVER 100 degrees inside. It sucked.
     

    Monday
    Today was "acclimatizing" day, AKA "Let's show Garrett how out-of-shape he is." And out of shape, I am. I did get to go for a swim, though. Perks of not being a first-year camper.
     

    Tuesday - The Big Day
     
    The Big Day is infamous at Steens. It begins by waking up at 5:00AM, then a bus ride to the 9,500 foot high sign (almost the top of the mountain), then a ~13 mile hike down into one of the canyons. I almost fell a couple of times.
     
    After the hike, they give you about twenty minutes to fill up your water and prepare yourself for the second half of the day. After you're done telling your loved ones goodbye, you have a few more miles to hike before choosing a group and beginning the 60/60's.
     
    60/60's are where you walk for one minute, then run for one minute. You do this for about seven miles down a tiny trail, through rivers, etc.
     
    There are four groups to pick from. Group 4 is for walkers and injured people and generally gets home at about 9:00PM. Group 3 is pretty easy and walks quite often. Group 2 is the closest you can get to true 60/60's (this was the group I chose). Group 1 basically sprints the entire thing.
     
    On average, forty people start Group 1. On average, less than eight finish.
     
    After the 60/60's, you get a short break, then it's a 1.5 mile hike climb out of the mountain. It isn't uncommon for this part of the day to take almost an hour to complete.
     
    When you get to the top, the camp founder is there with a guestbook to sign and a lemon drop candy. That lemon drop is the greatest thing I have ever tasted. Words cannot describe how amazing sugar tastes right then.
     
    And then they make you run seven miles back to camp.
     
    All in all, it ends up being about a 28-mile day for most people up and down hills, cliffs, and canyons. But everyone survived!
     

    Wednesday - Gate Guess Gallop
     
    Today was the first Olympic game at Steens, and the first day that we realized we probably wouldn't win.
     
    There was one guy in our tent -- let's call him Derrick, since his name actually is Derrick. Derrick was a first-year camper. He was also a graduated senior, so this was the only year he could come to Steens as a camper. Derrick came from a team who had won the Steens Olympics for four years in a row.
     
    Derrick and his team were also in my tent. Needless to say, I was pretty happy about our odds.
     
    Anyway, here's how GGG works: you start from the edge of the camp, running up the windy and hilly road to the spot where the camp's driveway meets the main road (which is exactly one mile). Then you run back down. Easy, right?
     
    Once you get to the bottom and get your time (our first run took 16:50), you are given a couple of minutes to rest, then you have to go again. Only this time you don't get any watches or time-keeping devices, and you have to get as close to your guesstimated time as possible.
     
    Now, on our first "dry" run, Derrick quit about 600m in. I was up front with our human metronome Mitchell, while most of the rest of our tent was back encouraging Derrick to continue. I still believe that their falling behind to try and pick him up was what gave us a slow first time.
     
    When we finished the first two miles, Mitchell guessed that we would run it again at 16:00. We ended up running it in 15:40. In my opinion, Derrick slowing us down caused us to get fifth out of six in this event.
     
    Now, before I'm attacked, you didn't know Derrick. He was very much a "I'm slightly uncomfortable so I'm going to quit" kind of guy. He had less than no confidence in himself, even though we spent hours trying to prove him otherwise. He had an excuse for EVERYTHING. And if there is one type of person that I can possibly hate, it is the person who makes excuses.
     
    So we weren't off to a great start, but I would take the results of GGG over what happened the next day.
     

    Thursday - Cross Canyon, AKA The Greatest XC Race Ever, AKA The Day Garrett Went to the Hospital
     
    Funny story.
     
    Thursday begins with 60/60's up the mountain. It is about seven miles and generally sucks. Again, Derrick tried to quit out multiple times because he was sore.
     
    Before I get into this day anymore, I wanna point something out. Steens is not a running camp. It is not a fat camp. It is a camp to test your mettle, to see how far you can push yourself. And then you push more. You learn what your true limits are, then you learn how to break those.
     
    Derrick poked his limits with a thirty-foot pole. Which sucks, as he was a nice guy (when he wasn't making excuses for everything).
     
    Anyway, we finish our run and our hike and make it to the beginning of the race. And I wasn't lying when I said that Cross Canyon is the most intense cross-country race known to man because there is no path. All that stands between you and the finish line are roughly four miles of glaciers, rocks, potholes, loops of rusty barbed wire, fields of thick sagebrush, forest, canyons, creeks, and sudden drop-offs.
     
    It is the best part of the week, by far.
     
    At the beginning of the race, your team is given one minute to memorize a quote. After everyone returns to camp, one person from each tent is randomly selected to stand up in front of everyone and recite their quote. For every mistake they make, their team gains thirty seconds to their race time. Our quote was something like this: "We all have a little bad dog in us, but mostly good dog. Your challenge is to feed the good dog and starve the bad dog. Harland Yiarte" Yeah, they make you remember who said it, as well.
     
    So the race begins and our expert four-year scout took us way out of our way. And I mean way out of the way. By the time we reached the final canyon before the buses, we could see every other team that had started behind us already halfway there.
     
    Oh, and Derrick had held up half the team a mile back. I was up with our scout and about six other people, who decided to descend into the canyon.
     
    That's when shit happened.
     
    Towards the bottom, we came across a cliff overlooking the creek. The creek is basically the half-mile marker, so we knew we were close. The only way down the cliffs from where we were was this steep slope of loose dirt. I stepped on it and began sliding a bit. So I yelled back to my team, "Hey guys, we can slide down here to save time!" And I began sliding.
     
    And lost control.
     
    Bad.
     
    I only noticed halfway down the slope that there wasn't the creek at the bottom. Rather, it was another cliff that then fell into the creek. So I panicked, reaching for a bush to grab onto. It slid out of my hand, but I managed to throw my body weight towards a boulder.
     
    Big mistake.
     
    Another rock suddenly stopped my descent, and my head whipped into the boulder. You know how people who get concussions say they see a flash of light upon impact? Yeah, I had that flash of light. The next two minutes are sort of a blur. All I really remember is yelling for which way to go and screaming "Oh God oh God I think I have a concussion." I would later find out that that was the least of my worries.
     
    So the people I was with climb up the other side of the canyon and sprint for the finish. The problem with Cross Canyon is that you aren't allowed to finish without your whole team, so a couple people ran back to help.
     
    That's when I looked down and saw this. Be warned, people who don't like blood.
     
     
     
     
    Yeah, sometime during my fall I had manage to tear a chunk out of my leg. I also scrapped my entire forearm so bad it amounted to a first-degree burn. But I wouldn't go to the medical tent until my team finished.
     
    Too bad we never did.
     
    Twenty minutes later, the rest of my team comes limping up the canyon, carrying an unconscious Derrick. We would later find out that his diet throughout the week and his water/electrolyte levels were completely out of whack, leading to what happened.
     
    Fast-forward to when we return to camp. Derrick has since came to, another boy has mild dehydration, and a first-year camper and I both have open wounds on our right thighs. Brady (the first-year) and I became the most popular warriors at camp. We were applauded for our dedication to our teams and to finishing the race. And then all four of us got carted to the hospital, an hour and a half away.
     
    Once there, I got to get my first stitches ever -- seven, to be exact. It wasn't a pleasant experience, but the scar I'll get combined with earning the respect of most everyone in camp was more than worth it.
     

    Friday - The Steens Olympics
     
    I had to sit out for everything today -- not that I'm complaining, of course. The only real highlight of the day was the fact that Mitchell the Metronome broke the camper record for the Uphill 5,000m run by eighteen seconds. He was just a few more seconds off of the all-time record, set by an actual Olympian. Being injured, I got to sit at the finish line and watch his badass kick.
     
    We came up with our skit about twenty minutes before they were due. It was a "Leave No Juan Behind" skit, which is a true story told by the camp founder about a Cross Canyon boy who faked injuries, then broke his ankle during the race and was abandoned by our team. The only reason our skit didn't suck was that our Juan (a Spanish lad named Randy) spoke incredible Spanish, wore a comically-oversized sombrero, and managed to keep the audience laughing for the ENTIRE SKIT. It was beautiful, and a great way to end the week.
     
    Oh, our tent managed to move from last place on Thursday to third place on Friday. I'm very proud of those guys. We had an awesome tent, even if were were racist towards each other. We had black twins from Mississippi (who were the shortest, funniest guys you could imagine), my Asian pal, Randy the Spaniard, and a bunch of pasty-white kids. Our tent motto: "We have four John's, a Sean, and a guy we call Juan."
     
    What a bunch of classy people.
     

     
    So that was my Steens 2013 journey. While we didn't win backpacks or hats, I did come home with something a bit more permanent. Now I'm going to go sleep for forever.
     
    - Kolth
  20. Standard User
    Okay, I'm just gonna throw some stuff out there so I don't forget to mention anything.
     
    OTSW is on hold for now ("you mean it wasn't before?"). I planned it very crappily to begin with and was writing/planning myself into elaborate corners. So the chapters I do have now will most likely be twisted or scrapped. I'm going to make the intro actually interesting and more obviously pertaining to the rest of the story.
     
    Secondly, Autonomous Reflection (which I'm coauthoring) could use some views and/or opinions. Please? For your old pal Kolth?
     
    Lastly (speaking of coauthoring), I would like to get my name out as a writer. APPARENTLY, not ever writing anything but saying you're a writer doesn't work or some crap like that. I have a couple of pone ideas in mind, but I need help tweaking them. So I'm looking for a coauthor to help me sort these ideas into proper stories. If you wanna team up on a project, let me know.
    * One story would be a comedy/adventure about what happened to Sombra after he "died." Sombra won't feature in the story -- physically, at least. (Sorry for being vague. I just don't want people swiping my ideas in case I want to use them!)
    * One story would be a Scott Pilgrim/MLP crossover that could theoretically be slipped into the sixth comic book as an addition to the existing story.
    * One story would be an all-OC cast about a blank flank in Manehatten and his attempts to get the girl. Again, this would be comedy with some slice-of-life.
     
    Anyway, there's your stinkin' update. In short: sorry for not updating OTSW (like anyone cares), read Autonomous Reflection, help a poor Kolth get his act together.
     
    - K
  21. Standard User
    Wow, I'm totally late on fangirling about this...whoops.
     
    According to the "officials," Boys State is a week of mock government where you learn what it takes to make a democracy function and sit and listen to senators and governors talk about their careers.
     
    According to anyone who goes to Boys State, it is a week of public nudity, assassination attempts, lawsuits, scheming, and vaguely sexual campaign posters.
     
    It's pretty damn sweet.
     
    There are 49 Boys State programs in the United States -- I believe it is Hawaii that is the loner here. Two boys who just completed their junior year are chosen from each high school that attends to "represent" that school at Boys State. In some schools, it is a cut-throat interview process that decides who goes. In my high school, it was all about making sure no one knew when the paperwork was due.
     
    And that's how my best pal and I ended up representing our school at Oregon Boys State.
     
    Frankly, there is way too much to talk about and not enough blogging time in the world to tell all of it. So I'm just gonna hit on a few highlights:
     
    I became an anchorman
    Yup, you read that right. This year ORBS tried something new: two competing news teams that would vie for the support of the public. The two big football teams in Oregon are the Beavers and Ducks, so we had the Beaver Broadcasting Company (my team) against the Duck News Network.
     
    So nothing happened the day we arrived, and the news is supposed to be shown before lunch Monday through Friday. Problem was, nothing happened Monday morning either, so both groups didn't expect the news to be aired that day. Then our counselor came rushing into our media room, grabbed myself and a boy I didn't know, and gave us five minutes to prepare an eight-minute broadcast. And one take to get it right.
     
    We nailed it. Mostly. Made some silly mistakes, but my team was the only group to broadcast that day, giving us a HUGE lead over the DNN.
     
    Because of our first day's broadcast, I got my team sued
    Five minutes isn't NEARLY enough time to prepare a proper broadcast. As such, we basically improvised most of it. One thing we hit on was how one city, Kalmbach, went around to other cities and basically scammed them (long story short, it involved city cheers). I said that they had a lawsuit against them and that they needed to watch their back because they were "criminals."
     
    Well, their trial hadn't occurred yet, and the whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing...basically, we got served. But we settled out of court with a win-win agreement, so I was happy.
     
    Never ask sleep-deprived teenage boys to take a picture at three in the morning
    Chances are, they'll demand to take a picture where everyone doesn't have pants on. I'm pretty sure I'm the one who suggested that...I don't remember. You see, the media team had arguably the hardest job, and that meant that we would stay up into the morning working on the broadcast. It was fun, but so tiring.
     
    We had a "terrorist" organization pop up
    Ah, FSU. To the American Legion, they were the Federation of Students of the Union (or something like that). To the boys, they were Fuck Shit Up.
     
    FSU was organized by three boys from Portland. They admit that, originally, their goal was to create a group comprised of members from both parties that would be able to push through their own legislation and put the people they wanted into executive positions for next year. However, the group got too big too quickly and they abandoned the idea. FSU remained a mystery throughout the week. The rumor was that they were planning a mass attack on the last day, so anyone who wore the brand of FSU (an 'F' on the back of their nametag) was deemed a traitor to the state.
     
    Oh, I was totally a member. It was great because no one figured out until the last day.
     
    Our governor was almost assassinated by a low-tech winged craft
    By "low-tech winged craft," I mean a paper airplane.
     
    Seriously.
     
    About the middle of the week, during a formation, someone threw a tiny airplane at the governor. It narrowly missed and the police and executives called it an assassination attempt. So people everywhere began stockpiling airplanes for both defense and attack...
     
    Until one piece of legislation declared all paper airplanes a Weapon of Mass Destruction.
     
    On the last night/morning, the media teams got together and attacked the governor with about fifty airplanes. We all missed.
     
    I got to do a live, impromptu debate in front of Boys State
    On Friday morning we had the executive debates, where boys who wish to run for a position of power in next year's Boys State may stake their claim. Friday afternoon, a special news broadcast was showing announcing the results.
     
    This year, the Legion basically overhauled the media department, as we were trying new things EVERY day. For the results, we had to give them live.
     
    We were set up so two anchormen from each team were positioned on opposing sides of the state, and four of us sat at a round table in the middle and would debate over who we thought would win the election for each position. We just had some facts about each candidate to go off of, but it was a TON of fun.
     
    I'm on YouTube now
    All of our broadcasts got put onto YouTube. Just search for Oregon Boys State. I'm actually not happy with a lot of our broadcasts, so I'm not putting the link here.
     
     
    Anyway, there's a lot that I missed, but these are just a few things that made Boys State awesome. If you are going to be a junior in high school or younger this year, I HIGHLY encourage you to try Boys State. It is so awesome!
     
    - Kolth
  23. Standard User
    Wait for it...waaaait for it...
     
    Ha, I hooked at least one person into thinking that this would be a post about an ACTUAL My Little Pony bill in our ACTUAL Congress. Teehee I'm so funny~
     
    ...anyway.
     
    So a very few of you might recall that, about a week ago, a friend of mine (hi @NeonDinosGoMeow) posted a topic asking for pros and cons to his congressional bill. Basically, the bill would require kids from kindergarten through their senior year of high school to watch My Little Pony in school to learn lessons about friendship, politics, etc.
     
    Before someone gets all uppity (again), let me say this: this was for an event called Silly Congress. Another bill proposed was to use cats as professionally trained soldiers and rename horses as "pre-cars." Obviously this MLP bill would not pass in our real Congress.
     
    My friend ended up passing the bill by a landslide in his speech tournament, with only one person opposing the bill. The speech class at our school loved the bill. The judges loved the bill. But most of all, the speech teacher loved the bill.
     
    So I walked into her class today with my friend so he could drop some things off. Now I don't have her as a teacher, mind you. She's fairly new to our school: young, hip, and full of energy. Everyone is her friend which, apparently, included me. As I walked into the class, she accosted me:
     
    "So," she said. "You're the mastermind behind the My Little Pony bill."
     
    Well, yeah, I suppose so, but I really just offered up the idea. My friend did all the work. She said that she loved it and thought it was a great idea. Like, an actual great idea. Not a "Let's get this passed by Congress" great idea but a "Let's try this in our school" idea.
     
    So she made the speech class watch the first episode of My Little Pony today during third-period. The results, as I've heard them:
     
    One (1) kid though that it was weird. Well YOU'RE weird, Rebecca.
    One (1) kid, who I originally thought to be a hater, is now at least neutral on the subject. He wanted to make it very clear, however, that he did not "hate" the show.
    One (1) kid jumped up from his chair halfway through the episode and yelled "How have I not known about this before?!"
     
    And NeonDinos and I just laughed.
     
    On the 31st of the month the speech team is having a Speak-tacular show to raise money for one of the kids going to Nationals. They have time to debate one Silly Congress bill.
     
    Guess which bill they picked?
     
    - Kolth
  24. Standard User

    OC Dump Post

    By Standard User,

    I like having links in my signature. Having a bunch of OC links that take up space is annoying. So this post will be linked in my signature, and edited as I make more OCs. Yay.
     

    Pensez Écrivez Rêvez - - - the quiet writer
     
    Jabbermouth - - - the scam artist
     
    Lingo Cider - - - the suave bartender


     

    (Chibi-styled Jabbermouth, Lingo Cider, and Pensez drawn by slimyjimjim)
     
    Hooray for efficiency!
     
    - Kolth
  25. Standard User
    I've been thinking about this for a while now, and thought I should get others' opinions about the matter. Warning, potential Fridge Horror ahead along with possible Portal/Portal 2 spoilers.
     
    So in Portal 2, it is revealed that Cave Johnson wanted to put a human conscience into an operating system (which ultimately resulted in GLaDOS). Obviously, you're not going to jump straight to putting a human mind inside of a massive sentient OS that has control of an entire secret facility. You take baby steps, of course. Start small. Small computers that still need human-like thoughts...see where I'm heading with this?
     
    Now imagine this: you're an Aperture Science test subject and, shucks, you've failed your test. You are now useless to the company. They couldn't just release you back into the world, as you might reveal sensitive information. But why kill you when you could still be of use to Science? So they invite you into a room where they try and take your conscious mind and put it into a computer. And they keep trying, and trying, and trying, eventually creating hundreds of these prototype genetic operating systems. What do with all of these failed trials?
     
    Well, Black Mesa might infiltrate the facility. Why not make some nice talking turrets out of them?
     
    And so the turrets (with human minds inside of them, aware of everything going on) are laced throughout the facility, standing eternal guard over a now-defunct building. You cannot die, as you are a robot now, but you have absolutely zero free will. Truly terrifying.
     
    But ah, you are not alone! A woman in an orange jumpsuit with that fancy portal gun comes hopping by. You want to warn her of the immense danger she is in, but you are programmed to shoot "hostiles." So you shoot at her and she ducks behind a corner. Obviously you are concerned for her safety, so you ask her "Are you still there?" You're asking because you secretly want her to still be alive.
     
    So she knocks you over with the Companion Cube. As your power system goes off, you tell her "I don't blame you." Of course you don't. Once upon a time, survival was on your mind as well.
     
    Look back through the lines the turrets say and you'll see that they have varied personalities that often feel bad about their own fate and/or Chell's. Anyway, I feel like I rushed my thinking but so what. What do you think?
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