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)O( Scarlet )O(

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Blog Entries posted by )O( Scarlet )O(

  1. )O( Scarlet )O(
    Okay so you may know about how I have been feeling lately, depression, anxiety, suicidal and having mental breakdowns, which has made me lash out at specific members, resulting in my current moderation state, for a long time I could not explain it, but now I have come to the reason why to I have done this..
     
    It is because of my severe lack of irl friends, I mean I have a couple but they are always busy with work or school, and the meetups are very rare, and when there are meetups, i am usually broke so I cannot go, so due to this lack of irl friends, my depression, anxiety, lonliness and sadness comes into play, and at times it gets so bad i have mental breakdowns and lash out at people when I don't mean to. I truly apologize to the member I lashed out at, what I did was completely uncalled for and i hope we can forgive each othere, also, I apologize to the staff for having to deal with it....
     
    Good news is, I will be moving in with some friends in New Zealand in a month or two.
     
    Also to all my wonderful family and friends on here, thank you so much for sticking with me through my best and worst of times and for loving me like you do, I truly do appreciate it.
     
    ~ Scarlet
     
    P.S To everyone on here who I have scared, made worried or lashed out at, I truly am sorry, this is not the real me, the real me is my OC/Ponysona Mirror Image but everything has been getting to me and making me change...for the worse
  2. )O( Scarlet )O(

    Why?

    By )O( Scarlet )O(,

    This has just dawned on me.. Apparently I am rather popular here, not just with my family forum but with other people as well, including some of the staff... But what confuses me is this: This all started to happen after I came out as transfemale and started being a woman (my true self) I was exactly the sam kind of person inside when I was still male, so why couldn't this have happened before my coming out? Nothing about my personality changed, except that maybe I am a bit more free and some what happier, so can someone please tell me why it was after and not before?
     
    I also still don't quite get why I am so popular...
  3. )O( Scarlet )O(
    A life is a terrible thing to lose, especialy at your own hands. But when a life is lost, we must mourn their loss, but also remember the good times, cherish the time that we had with that person and honor their memories.
    Some people, who even though they do have a whole lot of love and support from their family and friends, cannot see it, due to the ever growing darknes in their hearts. That is when they feel so desperate as to end the precious gift that is life. We mustn't hate them for what they did, hate the action yes, hate the person no.
     
    Life is the most precious gift to be given, and the worst to be taken away.
     
    It takes me quite a while to see it when I am down, but I eventually do so, I have the love and support of both my family (blood/extended and forum) and my friends. At times it may not seem like it and it feels like I am alone, but deep down within my heart, I know that that isn't true.
    To all of my friends and family on here who have continuosly supported and loved me, I just want to say thank you.
     
    This also serves as a reminder to everyone else, it may seem like you are alone, but in reality you are not.
     
    *hugs*
  5. )O( Scarlet )O(
    Ugh, I really hoped that I'd never have to make one of these again but I guess I do...
     
    To just about everyone on here, I am truly sorry for my behavior these past few weeks, a lot of little things and a few big things had been building stress up for me, and yes I know, stress is no reason for the pathetic way I had been acting and behaving, and I truly am sorry for that, that is not the real me, it is the old/past me, and I hate that. I also have a bad history of saying things I do not mean, including but not limited things about myself. In some cases, such as when I briefly became homeless, I did really want to commit suicide, yet I still had no right to drag everyone down with my 'depression'. I am sorry, but there are also have been times where I've, and I am extremely ashamed of this, but times where I have simply posted depressing ad suicidal status updates, because I felt lonely and desperate for attention, I know, I'm pathetic, but there it is..
     
    So for everyone here, I truly am sorry and I hope you can all forgive me and we can be friends again?
     
    I would also like to make a special apology to @, @@SkyHeart, @@Guardian Braveheart, @@Serious Sam, @, @@Commander Tangent, @@Sig Hoovestrong and @
     
    For scaring and hurting you all like that, please, I hope you can all forgive me, your big/little sister, girlfriend and daughter.. Please.
     
    I shall leave with this song:
     

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