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Crowbar


Gloomfury
  • , No, Not Cast stallion

    light brown coat, dark amber colored mane, mid length, slicked back. He wears dark sunglasses to hides the color of his eyes. He carries around a black crowbar on his back that's hold by a steel chain, it wraps on the right side of his neck to under his left foreleg.

    male Earth Pony A monkey wrench crossed with a crowbar. Which means he good at fixing things.

    Friendly, charismatic, quick to anger when being made fun of, but only when it's not friendly. Whenever someone asks him about his sunglasses he dodges the question, and if someone asks or tells him to take them off he doesn't listen to them. And he speaks strangely.

    Likes: Bullies , being made fun of.

    Crowbar was born in down town Manehattan, the middle class part of Manehattan. His father was a plumber named, Snake. (As in the snake tool used in plumbing.) And his mother was a normal housewife named, Ivy. Crowbar's life was a normal one, he had two loving parents, he had a good bit of friends, he had normal grads in school. But most of his time in school and out of school he was bulled. A lot.

     

    Most of the ponies in his school were from the upper part of Manehattan, meaning they were pretty rich. They use to make fun of him for everything, him being middle class, his father being a plumber, the way that he talked. But mostly because of his brightly pink, girly eyes. Crowbar hatted his eyes. He hatted them so much he tried to go though school with them closed so no one could see them. But after bumping and stubbing his hooves one to many times made him have to find another way to hide them.

     

    On day as he was walking home he saw a par of cool dark sunglasses in a store. He instantly was drawn to them. When he went to buy them he found out that he didn't have enough money. He quickly asked the shop owner to put them on hold while he ran back home to ask his mom for more money. When he asked she said no. Then he went to his father and he also said no, but he did say he could work for the money by helping him out. And Crowbar immediately agreed. Not many know this but, Crowbar really liked his dads job.

     

    Ever since he was a colt he looked up to his dad and he always wanted to be like him. During the time he was helping him out he got better at helping his dad. One day his dad asked him to look at some pipes in another room of a hows they were working in, when he check them out he knew what was the problem on the sot. Usually he would run back to his dad and told him. But since he knew how to fix it he started doing it himself.

     

    When he was done he called his dad to see is he did a good job. When his dad came in the room he gave his Crowbar a big hug and told him he was so proud. Crowbar was so happy and proud of himself, then a large flash happened, when he looked down he saw that just got his cutie mark. So at this pound he was really proud of himself.

     

    When he got home and show his mom and tell her the good news she was so happy that she just went out and got the sunglasses for him. All and all, it was a pretty awesome day for him. But sadly, even though he now had his cutie mark and cool sunglasses things weren't that great. His teachers made him take off his glasses when he was in school and he was still being bulled.

     

    Even when he wasn't in school he got beat up a lot by his neighborhood bullies. Then one day he decided he had enough. He went to his father tool shed and grabbed a crowbar and a chain and started carrying it around with his sunglasses on so he could appear more intimidating. And it worked! And he was never bulled again. As he got older he got better at fixing things and he made enough bits from working with his father that he could start his own repair shop.

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Hello there Gloomfury,  and thank you for your interest in Equestrian Empire.

 

So this section is for characters that fit within the canon of the show. That being said, this character will need quite a few changes before he fits well.

 

First off, an image is required for all characters in Equestrian Empire. It appears that you may have had one that was a broken link. Just re-uploading it may fix that problem.

 

Secondly, Exact age is not allowed as we do not know how long ponies live in Equestria. Please just leave it at stallion.

 

Thirdly, the personality section is a bit lacking. For original character we would like to see an expanded personality. It's hard to describe who a pony is in just one sentence.

 

Fourthly, the backstory is required to be at least three paragraphs. While you have pressed the enter key more than that, a paragraph is a group of closely related sentences that develop an idea.

 

Lastly, Equestrian Empire rules specifically disallow overly dark backstories.

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Thank your for your feedback. I'd just like to say that Creedence is my newest OC and I'll gladly work on him a little more.

 

But I would like to point out somethings. 

 

One, I don't think it's kinda fair that you have to have an image. Not everyone can draw and I bet it's not easy to get a picture done by someone else. I know, I've tried.

 

Also, I spaced out the back story cause it was easier to read. For me at least. And I don't think it's overly dark. There was one mention of violence and a death in a accident that's it. 

 

If you want 'overly dark backstories' checkout my other OCs. 

 

But if my OC is to dark for the happy world of ponies I'll make another.

 

I got an idea for a my first unicorn OC. She's a necromancer. Or is that too dark as well?

 

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a smart ass. It's just how I talk. But if Creedance is too dark I'll just think of an OC without a sad past and or dark back story.

 

It's all good.

 

And I got a new link.

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Hi there,

 

So as for the picture, it is a rule for the section, which has been in place since the end of February. A pony creator image is fine, so long as it is close to how you see your pony in your head.

 

As for how dark this character backstory is, I will quote directly from the rules for this section:

-Dark themes are okay, so long as you don't go overboard. Was your character abandoned as a filly? That's okay. Has he got a medical condition that keeps him from functioning in society, so now he's basically a shut-in, though he's working on it? Fine. Your character had the snot beat out of it for whatever reason? That's where the line is drawn. No crippling abuse, please.

 

Seeing how your character ended up in the hospital for a month after being attacked by his mother, that would certainly fall within the realm of crippling abuse.

 

I would recommend you read the rules for EQE. As we're trying to keep the section as close to canon as possible, that would be your best guide as to how to have a character accepted into this section.

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@,

 

Alright, I understand. But I'm keeping my OC as is. But I will make a new one that'll be more suited for this. 

 

Also, is a necromancy unicorn alright if she does't have a dark past or is it still not canon?

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Also, is a necromancy unicorn alright if she does't have a dark past or is it still not canon?

 

Having discussed this with another member of staff, we're going with no for the time being. Necromancy is not a skill we've seen in-show, and the potential for misuse of such an ability is too high.

 

Keep in mind, as this is a canon environment there would be very little chance for her to actually use her abilities. You couldn't have a ghost or spirit follow her around, as that would be controlling two characters within the one app.

 

Regarding this character, if you request deletion from this database I'm happy to do that for you. But for future reference, it's the violent abuse which is the biggest problem in this app. Not the abandonment or the angst. (Though excessive angst is really overdone in OC's, so I'd advise you to steer away from that for the sake of good character writing.)

 

I've read through your characters, and would recommend you apply with Shamrock. She would suit EQE fairly well, with the only change needed being that of her home city. We don't have a 'Detrot' in EQE, however you could use Manehattan, Fillydelphia, or Balitimare for her.

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@@Kay Dreamer@,@,

 

Alrighty then. Also I was just gong to give her a un-dead rat as a pet, no ghosts. But I see you guys points.

 

And you don't need to delete thise page. I'll just get rid of everything and change the name to my other OC.

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@@Gloomfury,

I must say that Crowbar is quite an improvement. I enjoyed reading his back story and liked the idea of his Pink Eyes. It was very unique and a nice touch.

 

There are only a few minor things, and I mean minor. There are a few typos and a few things with how it is worded. I would change "Even when he was home" to "Even when he was not in school"

 

Also, if you could clarify is Crowbar his birth name or just a nickname given because of his Cutie Mark/Always carrying one around. 

 

Overall, I like him. 

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@,

 

I'm so glad! And thank you for pointing my typos. That's one of the reasons I like to space out when I write a lot. so they make them easier to find. And I'll get to work on them. And yes, Crowbar is the name he was borne with, he just carries them around cause it was the most intimidating think he could find without going overboard, along with the chain.  Also I am really glad you like the pink eyes thing. I try to give my OCs a distinct characteristic. 

 

Gloomfury has his talon scar.

 

Bayonet has her long braid.

 

Shamrock has her drivers hat.

 

Rag Stitch has his rag doll.

 

Trench Club has his metal prosthetic leg.

 

Creedance has his guitar along with his hat.

 

And crowbar has his eyes.

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The Blues Brothers don't exist in Equestria. Considering the picture, I don't think that particular part is prudent to note. If you remove that, I think it'd be fine.

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