Jump to content
Banner by ~ Kyoshi Frost Wolf

Mirage


ProbablyNotLyra
  • No Not Cast Young Adult

    Mirage is a skinny, light brown griffon, with tan feathers at this front, and a deep brown tuft of fur at the end of his long tail. He has a slightly strange look, with the feathers on his front half always being some sort of messy, and swirls of brown around the coat of his back half.

     

    He has deep blue eyes, and is always wearing a small smile, as if he was just told a stupid pun. On the top of his head a few feathers poke out at odd angles. He tries to brush them back and flat against his head, but they keep popping up.

     

    Normally, Mirage doesn't wear any type of clothing at all. He thinks formal wear is a bit silly. However, he does like to wear things that are functional. Because of this, he is often seen wearing thick, dark brown rags wrapped around his legs and/or neck, to protect his softer fur near his feet from the dust, rocks, and thorny bushes in the desert, and for other odd jobs, like tying fences up.

    Male Griffon No cutie mark, just a genuine griffon butt, all natural.

    He is a generally chill guy. Yes, it sounds stupid, but there is no better way to put it. He is lazy, but when needed to do things, he will get out and work. He often prefers talking to other people about.. anything. He enjoys talking, especially about anything involving theories, or conspiracies.

     

    The first time one would meet him, he would come off as shy, but he soon opens up to strangers. He likes bad jokes and puns, and enjoys just being in the company of his friends. Giant groups of people aren't his favorite, though. He more likes a few friends getting together and having a fun time.

     

    Unfortunately, Mirage is a griffon.. and with being such, sometimes he can't contain his temper. I'd like to say he could brush off personal insults, and only get mad when people are rude to his friends, but that would be a lie.. The truth is he gets incredibly mad at anyone who picks on him, and doubly so if they are mean to his friends. He often goes out of his way to find the person and yell at them, sometimes even resulting in fist/hoof/claw fights. Sadly, this means he has only a small group of friends.

     

    He tries to stick up for others, but he is often seen as a little scary, being one of the few griffons in Equestria. Due to this, he rarely comes into town, except to buy essentials or take a little look at Braeburn. Come on, even a griffon could admire that stallion. This also means he isn't well known, or if he is known it's as the 'very rude, scary griffon that drinks to much apple cider.' Despite this, Mirage has high hopes that someday ponies can see how nice he is.. or at least how nice he tries to be.

    Likes: Pears, mangos, messy fruit in general, bullies, snooty ponies, because they can be extremely rude, hats, the colour lime green(Ugh, it's way to bright), running into things while flying through clouds, being interrupted while reading a good book, and the ocean. (Oh geez, waaay to much water)

    Mirage the griffon was first born in the Talon Deserts of the Griffon Kingdom, far off the maps of Equestria. He grew up in the harsh, windswept land of sandstorms and strange rock formations. He lived inside one of these formations, with his parents and five siblings. The griffons living the in the deserts were always tightly knit, having to be close in order to survive the dry land. He lived inside a small colony of about ten adult griffons away from the main settlement, and here he learned about how to survive in the desert. His parents taught him how to use their settlements special talents, like reading the stars, or watching the ground for certain plants that showed there was water nearby. So, Mirage grew up here, in the rough desert, working to help better his colony.

     

    But one day, there was a special announcement for their settlement to travel to the main colony of the desert griffons. His family travelled, and once there they found that a group of Royal Guards had arrived as a peace envoy to the Griffon kingdom, offering water and gems for a good welcome. After that visit, Mirage was incredibly interested in Equestria, having seen the Royal Guard. Despite his family's wishes, he decided to travel to Equestria to try and become a Royal Guard.

     

    After many weeks travel to the border of Equestria, he finally was close to his destination. After crossing the border, and travelling into the city of Fillydelpia, he was met with his first case of prejudice. A store owner refused him from buying anything. A little hurt, Mirage travelled further into the city, but more of this kept happening. A restaurant owner refusing to seat him, other ponies turning their heads away or avoiding him, and even one pair of fancy Canterlot ponies crossing the street to get away from him. Incredibly hurt, he quickly left, only stopping to grab a map and check it for anyplace that looked even remotely inviting. Looking at it quickly, he spotted Appleoosa. It might not be inviting, but anyplace that has a desert is place for him. He quickly travelled there, happy to be met with less prejudice then the city. Saddened by the unfairness he had faced, his hopes of being a Royal Guard had diminished, and so he settled for working in the Orchards there, and occasionally grabbing a storm cloud or two to water the trees. He has yet to give up on his dream of becoming a Royal Guard though, even if he doesn't know how to, and is a little afraid to.

    The colours on the current picture aren't very accurate, so I will be drawing my own shortly.

https://buffy.mlpforums.com/1492151148640bd8b40fed69804687ff.png

User Feedback

Recommended Comments

Hello ProbablyNotLyra!

 

Welcome to the forums! It is great to see you apply to enter our famed Equestrian Empire (don't quote me on this :P). So on to the review...

 

First things first, you will need a picture of Mirage. We don't expect the most awesomest commission or drawing, a simple Griffin Creator image will suffice (it exists).

 

The likes and dislikes section will need some work. A lot of them are unexplained from where they come from. Like how does Mirage like or even know of Princess Luna? Why does he dislike snooty ponies? These are just some questions. Of course you don't have to explain things like his favorite food, that's fine. Others can be explained through either the personality or backstory section. Speaking of...

 

Your backstory is too short. It needs to be three detailed paragraphs. Also in the last sentence you are mssing the necessary "animals" after dangerous. And your other section is only used for extra details, you don't need what is in there. It's fine to leave empty.

 

Mirage is on his way to entering EqE. Just address these issues and I can put forward the coveted first approval.

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  On 2017-02-16 at 9:40 PM, Derplight Sperkle said:

Hello ProbablyNotLyra!

 

Welcome to the forums! It is great to see you apply to enter our famed Equestrian Empire (don't quote me on this :P). So on to the review...

 

First things first, you will need a picture of Mirage. We don't expect the most awesomest commission or drawing, a simple Griffin Creator image will suffice (it exists).

 

The likes and dislikes section will need some work. A lot of them are unexplained from where they come from. Like how does Mirage like or even know of Princess Luna? Why does he dislike snooty ponies? These are just some questions. Of course you don't have to explain things like his favorite food, that's fine. Others can be explained through either the personality or backstory section. Speaking of...

 

Your backstory is too short. It needs to be three detailed paragraphs. Also in the last sentence you are mssing the necessary "animals" after dangerous. And your other section is only used for extra details, you don't need what is in there. It's fine to leave empty.

 

Mirage is on his way to entering EqE. Just address these issues and I can put forward the coveted first approval.

I think I've got it all down, but if I didn't do as good as you wanted, please be frank with me about it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites


×
×
  • Create New...