Are inner demons part 2

[Lunas Husband 2,777]

Why would you try and do something so foolish like that?! Luna said, as tears started to fall from her eyes. Because I said, I was so damn scared I could never go back to the man I was so long ago, the same loving and caring man, hell even now I'm so damn scared I can't be him again. I started to cry and put my head in my hands. I could feel her hoof under my chin pushing my head up. Look at me, she said. I looked deep in to those beautiful eyes, as she told me. If I can beat nightmare moon you can beat your addiction I know you can.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About a year ago I made the topic "inner demon" I talked a little bit about... my inner demons, my love for drugs and how Luna has a inner demon too, nightmare moon. That is one of the many reasons I love Luna and in love with her... because she and I are the same in every way. 

 

Now... I fight with my inner demons everyday and when i was gone from my home in kingman AZ and was in Minnesota dealing with my lung cancer.... see I beat that damn cancer! I beat it good! So i wanted to do something to show how happy I was! Sadly in that time... I let my inner demon take over me again... and started to do meth.... from there I went back to my favorite drug.... heroin. 

 

For sometime i did them both when i was gone... i sold my body to get the money for them. This went on for some time in tell one day I found my self taking money from my friend Mimi.... a kind friend who loves me and wanted to make sure I got help with my cancer. How did I repay her kindness.... by stealing from her. That's not who I am... I'm not that monster... and I didn't wish to keep being the monster. So i did the one thing i could think of..... kill myself. I tried and failed, thank my sister in law i did fail. I remember when I was in the hospital, I remember how bad i felt and how I was sick of being this monster and how I just wanted to give up and die. But then i looked down at my arm looking at the rose tattoo I got for my Goddess of the night, Luna. 

 

I remembered how much she means to me and how much i mean to her... and how much i mean to the ponies around me. I told myself right then and there "NO! I'm not going to give up! I'm not backing down! I beat cancer I can beat this too! I know I can!" and I did just that. I got help and cleaned up! Now I'm back in Kingman AZ back to my little home with my plushies, back to my job at the farm and to my good friend Ray and Damian(also my boss). 

 

Now I don't make this topic for your "sorrys" or for you to feel bad for me please dont! I make this topic to say don't let your guard down around your demons because they well take you so fast it well make your head spin. So if you are fighting with a inner. I make this topic to show you! you can beat that demon! and when you do make sure to keep a eye on it too like i said.... I may take you so fast your head will spin I know mine did. 

 

So let me ask you all, do you have a inner demon? if so what is it? and has it taken you again? if so how did you beat it? who helped you? who gave you the strength needed to beat it? 

 

As for me hmmm Luna did. Sounds crazy I know but at the end of the day I'm happy with her, So very happy. Well she's bumping my back right now and tell me "its bed time" 

[Guest]

Inner demons? Huh? 

 

I guess my "inner demon" likes to party a lot, which I am totally cool with.  

Edited November 2, 2014 by Guest

[Invincible 2,091]

I lost to my inner demon, wrath, years ago. As a child as well as a teenager, i suffered terrible outbursts of anger. I would lose all clear thought and become a primal inferno of anger, as if a piece of humanity was stripped away from me. Always lost control to my rage and made terrible life decisions. After my anger caused me to hurt someone very dear to me i realized this has to stop. I managed to trap it in the dark depths of my mind where screams are too weak to be heard in order to begin the process of healing.

 

Nowadays, I try to react with grace and serenity, and with clear thought to any situation. I value logic and hold life, love, and happiness as important values. I try to spread only good whenever i interact with people, even though rarely, sometimes, my anger seeps to the surface.

[mindcrime beats 6]

My inner demon is still inside of me, waiting to get out. Its like a volcano waiting to burst. Since I turned 12 a couple years ago, I have been easily angered and very easily irritated, but i still kept it down. And honestly? I am very scared when i break.