What do you think of this Rework?

[Guest]

Alright. So, I reworked an old OC of mine

 

But a trend with myself I've noticed is that I'm unable to see any sort of flaw or general shittiness in anything i create, well, if it was created recently. I look back at my OCs and cringe sometimes. Could you believe that i once created an OC with a 10 word backstory and thought it was the best idea ever? Yikes. And everybody around me was too polite to call me out. Can't blame them for that though.

 

So, back on topic, I reworked, an oc of mine to have a new backstory, and I'm looking for critque on the rework, whether the reworked one was better than it's brother, any flaws in the backstory or the personality, whether he's overpowered or underpowered, etc. Any good critique is much appreciated :>. Pleaseee.

 

Old version: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/second-sight-r8927

 

Reworked version: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/second-sight-r-r9464

 

Also, if possible, could you give your opinion on the style the backstory is written in? I really appreciate the time you'd take to read through it

Edited April 26, 2016 by Guest

[crispy fries 433]

I don't think there are any particular glaring flaws. If you're using a character for RPs, having a less detailed backstory might work in your favor because it allows them to more easily fit into different settings, and you can be a bit more flexible.