The New Sparkle Empire - My second fanfic

[Pinkie D Pie 1,036]

Alright everypony, for some odd reason, I had gotton a sudden urge to write a fanfic. This is the first chapter for my all new fanfic The New Sparkle Empire. Tell me what you think of it so far, and tell me ways to imppove it. Thank you for reading it. Yes the indentions or whatever are wierd and I'm sorry, I had to manually do them from the site with the spacebar because apparently after copying and pasting it from documents with them does not save the indentions...

 

 

 

 

The New Sparkle Empire

It’s been five years since Twilight first moved to Ponyville to start learning about the magic of Friendship. Five years in ponyville for her to grow up...

 

 

“Twilight, Twilight, I have a letter from the princess!” Spike yelled from. across the Library, running inside after having just visited Rarity’s blooming business. Everypony it seemed wanted one of her dresses for themselves now.

“Spike what was that?” Twilight called from her kitchen where she was making breakfast.

“I have a letter for you.” He said handing it to Twilight. “It seems to be from the Princess.” Spike had grown little during these five years and nopony knew why. Dragons were still a mystery to everypony.

Twilight unwrapped the letter and read through it. The letter had been from Princess Celestia and was pretty long, six pages long to be exact. Twilight got through it, and fell on the ground tears clouding her vision.

“Twilight what’s the matter?” Spike asked her, concern in his voice. Something terrible must have happened, but he had no idea what it could be. He tried to grab the letter, but Twilight levitated it in the air, making sure spike couldn’t reach it. “Twilight let me read it. I want to know what happened.” he said, confused at why Twilight didn’t want him to read it.

“You...You’ll find out soon enough.” She said quietly still crying. She went up to her room and closed the door, reinforcing it with magic to make sure nopony would be able to get in. She just layed on her bed, and thought of what the Princess’ letter had said.

 

 

The next day, all the ponies gathered in the town square, having been called together, for an announcement by Twilight Sparkle. Probably nothing important, another new shipment of books or something like it always was. Why Twilight gathered them here whenever something like this happened, they could never figure out why. Only her friends were a little worried about what might be happening, Spike had gone around the other day and told them all that something terrible had happened and upset Twilight like nothing ever did. Even after all their attempts, they couldn’t get her out of her room all the day before.

“Ponies,” She called from a stage set up there. Her eyes were red, obviously from crying all through the night. “I called you here, because I have some bad news. I will be unfortunately leaving Ponyville for some times. I do not know how long, but the princess has asked me to come back to Canterlot. I will return one day.” She then trotted off the stage and back to the library. Her friends followed her back, and saw her packing her things. She was also talking to Spike, so they didn’t interrupt her.

“Twilight, were leaving, but why? You didn’t tell them anything except that you will be leaving for Canterlot in a few days. So why are we going exactly?” He asked her, as he started packing his things.

“Correction Spike, I will be going, not you.” She told him. “You will be staying here, watching the library.” She then continued packing her things, as Spike stopped and stared at her.

“What do you mean I’m not going. I have to go, you're like my sister, you can’t just leave me here.” He said, a hint of him being upset on his voice.

“I’m sorry,” she told Spike, “I just can not take you this time.” And with that, she walked up to her room to gather the few personal items she had up there.

Her friends walked into the library to see her walking upstairs. “What’s going on Spike.” Rarity asked the little dragon, concerned for Twilight.

“I wish I knew.” He answered “But she will not tell me anything.” He walked to a chair and sat down.

“I’m going to go up to talk to her.” Fluttershy said, walking up the stairs.

“Where all coming.” Applejack said, as she made sure they were all following her.

 

 

They knocked on her door, and she opened it a crack. “Can I help you?” She said, making sure it didn’t sound too rude.

“We just wish to talk Twilight.” Applejack answered, pushing the door open into the now almost empty room. “What’s going on Twilight?” She asked as the others shook their head in agreement to find out what was going on.

“Well I have to go to Canterlot on important business.” She answered, as she closed one last bag to complete her packing.

“So just like that you're leaving, well I for one am coming with you.” Rainbow Dash said, starting to rush back to the door.

“No, no you're not RD. None of you can come with me this time.” She said magically closing the door before Rainbow reached it.

“Try to stop us then.” Rarity said, as she sat on the ground.

“Yeah we are all going” Applejack added, the rest of them shaking their heads in agreement.

“Why do you insist on going. I don’t think it would be right for you to come. But um, I might actually be better if you did come. Alright girls you can come, just don’t tell anypony please.” She said. The girls looked at her, then nodded and walked out, knowing they would get an answer on the ride there.

Edited July 24, 2012 by emanoN

[Filly Pinkie Pie 208]

NICE!!!

[Fluttermedic 86]

Very well thought out, though I wish there was more for a first chapter, and you're supposed to say we're, not where.

 

Can't wait for next chapter.

[Pinkie D Pie 1,036]

NICE!!!

 

Thanks.

Very well thought out, though I wish there was more for a first chapter, and you're supposed to say we're, not where.

 

Can't wait for next chapter.

 

Thank you, and apparently my computer didn't catch that thank you.

 

Chapter 2 I might work on tonight so it may be out anywhere from tonight if I have insparation to the end of the week.

[rainbow dash22 29]

MAKE MORE!!!!!!!!!

[SapphireDragon 10]

wow, really nice! i'm hoping for a 2nd chapter

[Pinkie D Pie 1,036]

MAKE MORE!!!!!!!!!

 

Thank you, and I do plan to contiue it soon.

 

wow, really nice! i'm hoping for a 2nd chapter

 

It's in the making right now, and thank you.

 

I plan to continue my work on Chapter 2, and have it uploaded by either tommorow or the next day.

[SapphireDragon 10]

Thank you, and I do plan to contiue it soon.

 

 

 

It's in the making right now, and thank you.

 

I plan to continue my work on Chapter 2, and have it uploaded by either tommorow or the next day.

 

YAY!

[rainbow dash22 29]

 

 

Thank you, and I do plan to contiue it soon.

 

 

 

It's in the making right now, and thank you.

 

I plan to continue my work on Chapter 2, and have it uploaded by either tommorow or the next day.

 

really?!?!? Yay!!!!!

[Fluttermedic 86]

Thanks.

 

Thank you, and apparently my computer didn't catch that thank you.

 

Chapter 2 I might work on tonight so it may be out anywhere from tonight if I have insparation to the end of the week.

 

Can't wait to see what it looks like!

 

(Hate this stupid 100 characters thing! ragitnabitdangitdarnit)

[Coffeesaxophone 11]

This is a really nice start for something, interesting start and a good chapter end. Waiting for the second chapter!

[Pinkie D Pie 1,036]

Sorry ponies, but I got caught up in some things, so the second chapter is still in production. Typed some of it but, it didn't sound right, so had to redo the chapter. I'll get it out as soon as I can, but it probably will not be till this weekend. Sorry.

 

Sorry for the long wait everypony, I got caught up and didn't have time to write. But here it is Chapter 2! And again I did my best I could at indenting, but no promises it perfect, since it deletes it after a copy and paste.

Chapter 2

 

Four days after Twilight had announced she was going back to Canterlot with no idea when she was going to be back, she and her friends gathered at the train platform. Even though Twilight had asked that they not inform anyponys, the Apple Family had found out. They were there to wish them a goodbye, and they were the only ones. Spike didn’t show up, he was still too mad to even speak with Twilight. The friends loaded their luggage on the train, and eventually got on it. It was only a two hour train ride, but it felt like an eternity.

“So Twilight, you still will not tell us exactly what happened?” Fluttershy asked Twilight. It was only her and Twilight in the room. The other girls figured that Fluttershy would most likely be the best to use to find out exactly what happened. Of course Twilight didn’t want any of her friends finding out.

“Listen Fluttershy, I know you really care and all, its just I don’t want to talk about it.” Twilight told her friend. Her eyes were still red, obvious she was still crying each and every night. Even now her eyes were starting to water.

“Are you sure Twilight, sometimes it is healthier to talk about what is wrong.” Fluttershy said, hoping to maybe get Twilight talking. She wanted to know just as badly as the others, but even now she could tell something horrible had happened.

“Fluttershy, I know it is sometimes healthy to talk about these things, but this is not one of those times. Please try to understand that, and also Fluttershy, I would like to be left in peace.” Twilight then laid down on a bed, and started to cry softly, holding the letter that had started the whole thing. Fluttershy noticed the letter but didn’t do anything. She quietly left the room, just as Twilight had asked.

 

“So Fluttershy, any ideas on what might be wrong?” Rarity asked as Fluttershy emerged from the room.

“Sadly no Rarity, this time there will no getting Twilight to talk. She is set on just letting us find out on our own.” Fluttershy sighed and went and sat down in a corner chair. “I’m really worried for her, this is not something small that might have happened that can be fixed.” She said.

“I know what you mean.” Rarity responded, “But maybe if someone else tries.”

“Oh Rarity I wouldn’t,” Fluttershy called after her friend. “I don’t think we should bother her.”

“Oh Fluttershy, don’t worry, I won’t do anything to hurt her, I just want to see what I can find out.” She called as she knocked on the door. “Twilight dear, it’s me Rarity, I just want to talk.” She called out. The door opened and Rarity walked in.

“I’m not talking about it, Ok so please don’t even bring it up.” Twilight said, sitting back onto her bed. Her mane was a mess, and it took all of Raritys willpower not to comment on it.

“Alright dear, if you don’t want me bringing it up, I won’t.” Rarity said. “So um, was it the Princess who summoned you to the castle?” All Twilight did was shake her head yes. “Oh well, how is the Princess doing?” She asked.

“I actually have no idea.” Twilight said.“Rarity listen, I really just want to be left alone right now, besides it’s lunchtime and you need to go eat.” Twilight told her, pushing her out the door.

“Are you com...” Rarity started but never finished because the door was shut before she could. She quietly walked to the dining cart, where her other four friends were busy eating. “She's not coming to lunch, and she refuses to speak to any of us now.” Rarity said, sitting down and grabbing a dandelion sandwich.

“Can Fluttershy not get her to come out?” Rainbow Dash asked, sipping on some water.

“She wouldn’t tell me a thing.” Replied Fluttershy, who wasn’t eating, being too worried for Twilight.

“I can try!” Pinkie Pie, spoke up, her face covered in chocolate. She was the only one didn’t seem all that worried.

“Pinkie, are you sure. You can be a little, you know, over hyper.” Rarity asked, who had seen what Twilight was like.

“Yes I’m sure, you just wait, I’ll find out exactly what is wrong with her!” She said jumping up from the table and bouncing towards the rooms. She arrived at Twilight door and knocked waiting for an answer. When none came she knocked again, but this time saying “Open up Twilight, it’s me Pinkie, and I just want to talk to you.”

“Pinkie I really don’t want to talk right now. Stuff is happening, and I really want to be left alone.” Twilight called from inside.

“But Twilight, where all worried about you, and I just want to make sure you will be okay.” She said, actually really concerned this time..

“Pinkie if I talk to you for a few minutes, will you get the rest of them to leave me alone?” Twilight asked, standing up and walking towards the door.

“Of course I will!” Pinkie replied, knowing very well that she would now be able to get what she wanted out of Twilight. The door opened and Pinkie walked in, not knowing what to expect. Twilight was sitting on her bed, two empty boxes of tissues near her, and an almost empty one floating near her. “Twilight, what happened? Why are you so sad?” She asked, quite confused by the site.

“I really don’t want to talk about it Pinkie, please just don’t bring anything up like this.” Twilight said, her voice gone from all the crying she had done.

“Ok, Twilight. Are you hungry, because we could go get some food?” Pinkie asked her, all the joy in her voice gone.

“No Pinkie, I’m not hungry, I could not eat right now anyways, but you obviously did, with all that chocolate on your face.” Twilight replied. She grabbed another tissue from her box and wiped her eyes, keeping the tears from falling down.

“Oh, I must be a mess, Twilight are you sure you're okay?” Pinkie asked, forgetting that Twilight asked her not to.

“I’m fine!” Twilight yelled, anger in her voice now. “Just leave me alone!” She magically forced Pinkie out the door, and slammed it.

Pinkie who was now against the side wall, a little dazed from the force of the push, stood up, her hair falling down. She walked back to her friends.

“Pinkie what happened?” Rarity asked, going over to comfort her friend. She remembered the last time this happened to Pinkie, and that did not go over so well with them. But this time, her hair was straight, yet she wasn’t going crazy. She stood, there, depressed obviously.

“I don’t think any of us ponys should try to confort Twilight anymore.” Applejack said. She wanted to try, but seeing this happen to Pinkie, she knew better than to let any of her friends try again.

“Oh I think I should go give her a piece of my mind.” Rainbow Dash hollered, already zooming to Twilights room. She knocked on the door, and yelled “Hey let me in Twilight.”

“Rainbow Dash, leave me alone, I am done talking to all of you if you just keep trying to tell you what happened!” Twilight yelled back, reinforcing her door with magic to make sure Rainbow never got in.

“Twilight just tell us what happened. I do believe we deserve to know just as much as you!” Rainbow screamed hoping making Twilight angry would get her to talk.

“Rainbow just leave me the buck alone!” Twilight screamed from the other side of the door.

Twilight just cussed, Rainbow told herself, She never cusses. “Yeah well buck you Twilight.” Rainbow called from the hallway walking back to her friends.

“What the hay was that about!” Applejack screamed as Rainbow walked back to her friends.

“She’s not talking.” Was all Rainbow said. There was still another hour until they got to Canterlot, and none of them felt like talking anymore. Twilight just stayed locked up in her room, the letter in held up in front of her, tears streaming down her eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I quoted all of you because you were the ones who seemed to want a chapter 2. Edited July 28, 2012 by Luna Sparkle

[Fluttermedic 86]

GOD THESE CLIFFHANGERS

 

MOAR I TELL YOU! MOAR!

 

But seriously, very nice chapter, you seem to be in sync with each of the characters personalities, although Applejack could use some more country in her voice.

 

And people will hat me for this, but because you haven't revealed even the slightest thing about what's happening, you apparently didn't think ahead for your fanfic, because to me it seems like you don't even know yourself what has happened, or it's just you like shitloads of cliffhangers.

 

But all in all, great fanfic so far, I'd recommend giving it some more thought to work on because this is different from other Fanfics I've read, and I LOVE different, not any of that mediocre stereotypical crap.

 

And I wouldn't be surprised that once you finish the story it could possibly be up on Equestria Daily.

Edited July 28, 2012 by Fluttermedic

[Pinkie D Pie 1,036]

GOD THESE CLIFFHANGERS

 

MOAR I TELL YOU! MOAR!

 

But seriously, very nice chapter, you seem to be in sync with each of the characters personalities, although Applejack could use some more country in her voice.

 

And people will hat me for this, but because you haven't revealed even the slightest thing about what's happening, you apparently didn't think ahead for your fanfic, because to me it seems like you don't even know yourself what has happened, or it's just you like shitloads of cliffhangers.

 

But all in all, great fanfic so far, I'd recommend giving it some more thought to work on because this is different from other Fanfics I've read, and I LOVE different, not any of that mediocre stereotypical crap.

 

And I wouldn't be surprised that once you finish the story it could possibly be up on Equestria Daily.

 

Thank you, and I realize Applejack could use more country, but even being southern I have a hard time typing it. And I actually know exactly where this is going, I just love these cliffhangers.

Edited July 28, 2012 by Luna Sparkle

[Fluttermedic 86]

And I actually know exactly where this is going, I just love these cliffhangers.

 

 

I just knew you'd say that, just knew that all these cliffhangers were because of an 'obsession', I just knew it

[Coffeesaxophone 11]

Great chapter! Also do you have some idea on how long the story is going to be, and do you have a FIMfiction account? It would be much more easier for people to find your stories if you get a FIMFicton account.

[Pinkie D Pie 1,036]

Great chapter! Also do you have some idea on how long the story is going to be, and do you have a FIMfiction account? It would be much more easier for people to find your stories if you get a FIMFicton account.

 

I sorta have an idea but no real idea, I just let each chapter come. As for the FIMfiction, I do and plan to start uploading this there once I get chapter 3 done.

Also thank you for reading.

[Moon Rat 4,772]

So far, this is turning out to be a really great Fanfic, I can't wait to see what you have in store for Chapter 3 :3

[Pinkie D Pie 1,036]

So far, this is turning out to be a really great Fanfic, I can't wait to see what you have in store for Chapter 3 :3

 

Thank you.

 

Alright everypony as always, I have no idea when the next chapter will be out, hopefully soon though.

[rainbow dash22 29]

Make more please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And how cone the letter minimum is 100? thats weird!!!!!!

[Pinkie D Pie 1,036]

Make more please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And how cone the letter minimum is 100? thats weird!!!!!!

 

Thanks, next chapter will be out as soon as I get the time to work on it.

Question to my readers, should I post this to FIMfiction?

[Coffeesaxophone 11]

Yes I think you should do it!

 

(hush now, quiet now stupid character tralalalalalallalala limit!!!)

[Moon Rat 4,772]

Thanks, next chapter will be out as soon as I get the time to work on it.

Question to my readers, should I post this to FIMfiction?

 

 

YES, YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD

 

I think this fan fic is gonna be the best & I think EVERYPONY should get the chance to read it :3

[Pinkie D Pie 1,036]

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3 is here everyone. I will go ahead and tell you, this is where the story gets sad. So if you don't like this sort of things, but I just have to write it sometimes. Anyways here is chapter 3, rather short I think, but that is alright, right?

 

Chapter 3

 

Eventually the train made it to Canterlot. The ponies slowly got off of it. When Twilight emerged from her room, none of the ponies talked to her, and she didn’t talk to any of them. It was a silent walk through Canterlot. Ponies who knew Twilight tried to say hi. But Twilight ignored them. They just continued their silent parade through Canterlot. Eventually they made it to the Royal Palace. The usually stunning castle, was now run down. Princess Luna was awaiting Twilight in the entrance.

“Twilight you made it. But why did you bring your friends?” She asked. It was evident that the princess had been crying. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her coat was dirty. And she looked like she hadn’t left the castle in weeks.

“I had to Luna, they just had to be here with me. But please, will you tell me what exactly is going on. All the letter says is to come to Canterlot immediately, and that the Princess is not doing well. Please Luna, tell me what is going on.” Twilight begged. Tears were running down her face now. Her friends just watched.

“Twilight just follow me, I will show you what has happened. And you five, would you please wait here.” She let Twilight up the stairs. Twilight noticed that mostly Lunas guards were around.

“Luna, where are Celestias guards?” She asked Luna.

“They are around, trust me on this one Twilight we are almost there.” She led her up another set of stairs, to a part of the castle Twilight had never been in before. She realized this must be where the princess’ rooms were. She followed Luna to a closed door on the top of the tower. “Celestia is in their Twilight. Please go in.”

Twilight entered the room slowly, not knowing what to expect. What she saw, was horrible. Celestia was laying on her bed, obviously in pain. Her once flowing rainbow colored mane, had now lost all color. Her eyes were colorless. She noticed Twilight enter, but didn’t move, just sat there watching.

“Twilight,” She said “I am sorry you have to see me this way.” She said once the door was closed. Her voice was ragged, having lost any tone it once had.

“What happened Princess?” Twilight asked her beloved mentor.

“I am dying my child.” Celestia answered. Twilight broke down into tears as she went to hug her teacher. “I know it is hard to take, but it must happen. I do not know why, but it must.” She lay there allowing Twilight to hug her and weep into her coat. “But Twilight, you must stay strong. There are things you must do, things that still must be done. First off Twilight is my sister will need someone to comfort her through these times. Twilight, I ask you, would you please help her. Make sure she doesn't do anything irrational.”

“Anything for you Princess.” Twilight replied, tears still streaming from her eyes.

“Twilight now I ask you, would you please come closer. My student, I have taught you all I can, but it is time to step up and take responsibilities. My sister cannot be the ruler of Equestria. She is not cut out for it. She is the Princess of the Night, and needs to stay that way. So I ask you Twilight, would you become the new Princess? Will you step up and take the role of leader of Equestria?” The Princess asked Twilight, tears now streaming from her own eyes.

“Princess, are you saying I am going to become a princess. I can’t do it Celestia. I can’t rule Equestria like you.” Twilight said, the tears flowing down her face, wetting her bed.

“You must Twilight, for me.” Celestia said. Bowing her head, she said. “This is to the new ruler of all of Equestria, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Now Twilight there is one thing I must now do for you. Please come closer.” Twilight obeyed, no speaking. “I am going to use the last of my powers to give you what most only dream about.” She touched her horn to Twilights and both started to glow. “Twilight I give you this, the rest of my power.” A blinding white light filled the room. Twilight was bathed in the light, as her horn started to glow. She was changing, her horn was growing longer, her legs taller. From her back sprouted glorious wings. What was once a simple unicorn, was now a brilliant alicorn.

“Princess what did you do?” Twilight asked, looking around. Celestia was barely breathing now.

“I gave you Twilight immense power. I gave you my princess hood. You now have the powers I did. You are now what I am. You are, Twilight Sparkle, an alicorn.” Celestia started to cough then. When Twilight tried to comfort her, she turned her down. “Twilight, it is now time for me to say goodbye. I loved you as my daughter Twilight, I cared for you. You were the greatest student I ever had. Twilight, I now say goodbye.” Celestia said as another coughing fit hit her.

“I will miss you Princess.” Twilight responded, tears clouding her eyes. “I loved you Princess, more than anything else in this world. You were amazing, and I..I...I’ll miss you.” Twilight sobbed. And with that the glorious leader of Equestria, passed away.

Luna came into the room, and with what she saw, she cried as much as Twilight. “So it is over then. She is no longer the ruler of Equestria. Twilight, it appears as if you are the new leader. To our new Princess then.” Luna managed to get out, before falling on the floor, tears staining the carpet.

Twilight walked out of her room. The guards all around were bowing to her. She walked through the almost empty castle. Eventually she found her ways back to the door leading towards the entrance. What was she going to tell her friends, she asked herself. She eventually opened the door, and walked out. When her friends saw her, they all asked at once. “Twilight.”

“Yes my friends it is me. Our leader, Princess Celestia, is no longer with me. I am now the leader of all of Equestria.” She walked down and hugged all her crying friends.

“I’m sorry for what I said Twilight.” Rainbow Dash said once she got to her.

“It is okay Rainbow, we all said things we don’t like. Try not to think about it.” She said hugging her. She soon had hugged them all, and each and everyone of them broke down into tears. They just let them flow, never ending.

“So what happens now Twilight?” Applejack finally asked.

“I..I don’t know.” The new ruler replie d.

 

Like I told you it is sad, at least I think so. I don't know if I can finish it but I will try, for you my readers. So I want to thank you for reading with me this far, and if you really want me to, I will continue it.

[Fluttermedic 86]

I belive it's time to contact Equestria Daily on this :3

 

Great Third chapter, wonder what Twilight is going to do as leader