Fanfiction Idea?

[Limestone 8]

I thought what would happen if Applebloom finds and then fosters an injured timber wolf puppy. AppleJack and especially Granny Smith would not approve of it at first because it's a wild animal that could grow up to be dangerous. Is this an okay story?

[Satsuki Kiryuin 1,154]

It sounds like it might be able to be a worthy read, as long as you can expand on the idea more and more, and still be able to keep it clear, well written, and very fun, or interesting.

[Arcanel 3,041]

Any story is okay if YOU make it okay dude =). But on the idea itself, it's actually quite original! I'd like to read something like that, especially, because given the whole "Apples vs Timberwolves" thing, yeah, it would represent something you could even see in an episode. Go for it my friend. Go for it =).

[Limestone 8]

Here is a rough draft of this story. It's not perfect but with some more work hopefully it can turn out better.

 

Applebloom and Cider the Timber wolf

 

From the fires of the Everfree Forest Applebloom finds an injured timber wolf puppy.

She named the puppy Cider.

Applebloom bandaged the wounds and kept Cider in her room but Applejack finds out and disapproved the idea of caring for it.

Later Applejack agreed that her sister can take care of it until the wounds healed and suggested that Applebloom could keep it at the CMC club-house.

Applebloom isn’t sure that’s a good idea because she doesn’t know how her friends would react to Cider.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell were distrustful of Cider at first then learned to care for the puppy as well.

While the CMC played with Cider outside Silver Spoon discovers their secret and then tells Diamond Tiara.

Diamond Tiara thought of speaking to Cheerilee about this but then she finds out Granny Smith didn’t know about this wolf and began to plot her plan.

All Diamond and Silver wanted to do was to take photographs of Cider who became a young adult wolf sleeping in the clubhouse and show them to Granny Smith. They were almost attacked by Cider while it was being blinded by the flashing lights of the cameras.

Applebloom returns to the clubhouse with some food for Cider became stunned at the mess of the scene and of the frighten looks of Diamond and Silver as they ran off screaming.

Applebloom apologizes and tells the truth about Cider to Granny Smith and her brother.

Granny Smith was angry and disappointed with Applebloom then forgave her for keeping this secret from her.

After Cider completely heals, Applebloom’s family wanted Applebloom to let it go back to the Everfree Forest. It’s what is best for Cider so it can be happy and not confined to the clubhouse.

Applebloom hugs Cider and waved in farewell as Cider went back in the Forest.

“You made the right choice” said Applejack “don’t worry Cider will be fine now.”

Days later Applebloom was still concerned if Cider would be able to manage on its own or not. She goes off in the forest alone to check on the wolf. Her family realizes that Applebloom was missing and went into the Everfree Forest to look for her.

At first Applebloom thought she saw Cider it turned out to be a changeling in the form of a timber wolf. She gets chased by it until Cider came then fought and stopped the changeling from capturing her.

Cider allowed the flames of a phoenix to burn on its forepaws to make sure Applebloom was warm during the cold night.

Applebloom’s family found her and glad she is safe but they noticed she was bruised and scratched.

Granny Smith decided to allow Applebloom to visit Cider as long as there was an older guardian with her.

 

That’s what I got so far....

[DeiStar 248]

Every story with a good premise and plot can be great if written correctly.

This could be one, but as I said, it should be very well written.

 

Also, a basic tip for rookie writers, is to accept all criticism, good or bad, don't give up on writing only because someone didn't like your story.

[Arcanel 3,041]

Every story with a good premise and plot can be great if written correctly.

This could be one, but as I said, it should be very well written.

 

Also, a basic tip for rookie writers, is to accept all criticism, good or bad, don't give up on writing only because someone didn't like your story.

 

This. Exactly what DeiStar said. If someone comes and says "Sorry. Don't like your story, I'm out", DON'T be discouraged. Sure, it's not the best feeling in the world, but there could be other people who actually likes the story. Maybe more will like it than they not. Maybe not. Whatever happens well, I don't know if it's your first story or not, there are sometimes when you have to learn from what you may have done wrong, and get better, or just accept that maybe not many people will like your story. If at least people also leave constructive criticism, then take it and use it as much as you can, but also know how to defend your story if needed. As rookie writers, one has to take as much positive as one can and try to ignore the negative (unless it's constructive criticism, which you should take regardless it's positive or negative, because it helps you become a better writer).

 

As or the draft, it doesn't look bad at all. In fact, if you can write the whole story from that, then it will look good. But a couple of things (I may be a rookie writer as well, only have one still going fic, but I have at least read a lot of fics). First, the characterization in these types of stories is more than crucial. It practically makes the whole story. Your ideas with Applebloom, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and the changeling are great, but whenever Applejack and Granny Smith appear, BE. CAREFUL. As much as we know that the Apple family is OMEGA forgiving, they have to be believable characters. That is, you can't just go and make them forgive at one second the moment they are pissed. Not even with the Apples it would be true. So be careful with your characterization, especially the last two.

 

Second, when Applebloom finds Cider, she will probably be scared, not only of already being in the Everfree Forest, which you also need a good explanation to make it better, but because of the fact Cider is a Timberwolf. Don't make her react absolutely quikly. Make her be a little confused in her mind, but ultimately decide to help the puppy, despite what he is. Given we're talking about Applebloom, that would make perfect sense.

 

And third, when talking about the changeling, you should probably say a little story about how that could have happened, since in theory, they were expelled far far away, not necesarily in the Everfree Forest. If that was your intention, then you probably don't have that much explaining to do. Maybe make Twilight, like, making them go the her house, appear so you can talk about it, and then just proceed like you said. If it's not, then not much trouble at all. It IS the Everfree Forest after all. Anything is supposed to be able to happen there.

 

And finally, when someone of the Apples get mad, a small sermon wouldn't hurt at all. But do it from all people involved. That is from Applejack, after all, it's dangerous to go to the Everfree Forest, Granny Smith and Big Macintosh, not only having gone to the Everfree Forest, but also trying to take care of a Timberwolf, more importantly with Granny Smith in the last reason. Just have all three have that sort of speaking so as to make it more believable. Does that sound good to you?

Edited August 13, 2012 by Arcanel

[Limestone 8]

Thank you all for helping out on this. Hopefully I'll fix some mistakes and try to improve.

[Arcanel 3,041]

Thank you all for helping out on this. Hopefully I'll fix some mistakes and try to improve.

 

Your welcome, and I'm glad I could help =). Just take your sweet time, makes as less grammar/spell mistakes as you can, and you 'll be fine. The story could easily be a multichapter story of, if you so wanted to, more than 10.000 words, from what I can see. And even better. The way you end it, you could even start thinking of a sequel, like Applebloom and Cider start having epic adventures after a certain time passes. After all, I don't think anyone has ever done a story where Applebloom has adventures with a Timberwolf as a companion =).