Mcayon 24 August 26, 2012 Share August 26, 2012 Hey, everypony! My first fanfic; Luna takes a break from her gaming... is now up on fimfiction.net. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/47317/Luna-takes-a-break-from-her-gaming... I'd be extremely happy if you could take a look at it and give me some constructive criticism and pointers on what I could've done better and so on, here and/or at fimfiction.net 3 Signature made by Cherrybomb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteLightning 339 August 26, 2012 Share August 26, 2012 (edited) Hey, that looks pretty good! Nice job, keep it up! Can't really see any obvious flaws in it though, but if this was only your first ever fanfic, I am interested in seeing more of you! Edited August 26, 2012 by WhiteLightning 1 "The quantity of your friends doesn't matter, it's the quality of each one." - Unknown My OC and ponysona: http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/white-lightning-r599 (Yes, that was made in MS Paint. Deal with it.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mcayon 24 August 26, 2012 Author Share August 26, 2012 Hey, that looks pretty good! Nice job, keep it up! Can't really see any obvious flaws in it though, but if this was only your first ever fanfic, I am interested in seeing more of you! Thank you very much! I don't know when my next story will be up, but it won't be too long, I hope. Signature made by Cherrybomb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerpyFanatic 114 November 20, 2012 Share November 20, 2012 (edited) That was fun, not to mention adorable. If I could brohoof this multiple times, I would. I find it hard to imagine Celestia speaking like that though; even in informal speech she seems so measured and precise. EDIT: I'm a Muffin now! <Derpy>Muffins...</Derpy> Edited November 20, 2012 by Swift Decision I was about to ask why you randomly included Derpy Hooves being born on the timeline, but then I saw your name and my question was answered... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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