The Best Math Story Ever.

[Rainbow Skywalker 642]

Ok, So my friend had to do a project in math, and he had to write a story that contained 25 mathematical terms.  This story is absolute genius, filled with an enormous amount of random, and contains too much comedy for the average human.

 

Okay, maybe it's not the funniest and greatest story ever, but hey.  It's worth a look.  Tell me what you think about it.  He'll be glad to hear any criticism.  THANKS!

 

An Entirely Made-Up Story About An Imaginative Math Student’s Trip Through the Magical World of Math 2 Land, titled:

An Imaginative Math Student’s Trip Through the Magical World of Math 2 Land.

By Quentin Smith

Don was a Math 2 student in a nearby, unnamed place kind of like this one. Don was a unique person, an outlier. Don really liked math. In art class, instead of paintings, Don drew parabolas. In P.E., Don used the quadratic trajectory formula to play basketball. In music class, Don played songs about his love for matrices. In all his classes, Don thought about math.

One day in math class, Don was falling asleep. He had been reading too much about imaginary number theory the previous night. Don looked up as the teacher called his name.

“Don! Wake up! What is the y-intercept of this negative correlation’s best-fitting line?”

“Empirical rule?” Don said, before closing his eyes again. When Don looked up again, his teacher was gone. All the students were gone. Don watched the classroom turn to dust before his eyes.

Don woke up feeling refreshed. He remembered the answer to his teacher’s question. Don looked around the room to answer the question, but realized the teacher wasn’t in sight, and he wasn’t in the classroom. Huh?

It seemed Don was lying on a cloud. Circling all around him were giant, glistening ellipse equations, 45-45-90-degree triangles, great circles, and more. Don reached out to touch a passing secant segment and had his hand slapped away by a large robed elephant. Don wondered how he had not noticed this large pachyderm before. Apparently, it was speaking to him.

“Don! Can you understand me?” the elephant asked Don. “What are the real solutions of (x^5+14x^4-7x^3-4x^2+3x)?”

“Uhh… 0 and -0.599?” Don answered. “Who are you?”

“Oh, I am Wesley the Omnipotent Elephant (loxodonta africana). I used to be the god of Comic-Land, but I now also rule Math 2 Land. I felt that I should promote education, and what better way is there to do that than construct an entire parallel universe devoted to Georgia Math 2?” Wesley answered, with great pride.

“Oh. Okay. Why am I here?” Don said, shocked.

“Silly boy, I am here to give this story a plot! How else are you going to include 25 vocabulary words, take a road trip to Vancouver, Canada? Of course not!” Wesley boldly exclaimed. “Growth factor, mean absolute deviation, Descartes’ rule of signs!”

Don pondered this. If he was merely a character in Quentin Smith’s EOCT project, what choice did he have than to partake in this person’s story and use at least 10 more vocabulary words?

“Conjugate….” Don muttered discontentedly.

“Come on Don, I have a challenge for you,” said Wesley. The surreal elephant led Don to a large stadium that seemed to appear from nowhere. They entered and walked onto the court. The only sound was their own footsteps. In the center of the court were two chairs, each with a math test and a No. 2 pencil on it.

“Take a seat,” Wesley said. Don sat in the chair, and as soon as he did so millions of screaming fans populated the stadium, all cheering his name. Wesley took a microphone from midair, and spoke into it enthusiastically.

“Hello, everyone! We have a special contestant here today: Don!” The crowd erupted in applause. Don shyly waved at the crowd, which resulted in the overwhelming flash of thousands of camera shutters going off at once.

“So… who wants to challenge Don today?” Wesley bellowed. The crowd quieted in anticipation, but no one came forward for several moments.

“Come on, surely someone thinks they can outsmart Don?” Wesley said.

After several suspenseful seconds, someone stood up. He was a tall, bearded man, but he did not look like Santa Claus. He looked like the embodiment of all evil, cunning, and ruthlessness, which was convenient because those are perfect traits for a cliché antagonist, which is of course who this man was.

He spoke. “I would like to challenge Don.” He spat the word “Don” from his mouth as if it were a sizeable fish that had too long been lodged in his windpipe.

This, and the narrator’s very remarkable simile, sent shivers down the spines of the entire crowd. We know this because they immediately Tweeted their feelings of discontent. Anyway, the man walked up to the vacant chair and sat down in it. I would say he sat in the chair very evilly, but to be honest he sat in it much as any regular person would do. Don personally admired this man’s chair-sitting form very much.
“Don, are you ready to take this test again this strange, unnamed antagonistic man?” Wesley asked.

“You bet your asymptote I am,” Don replied. Don peered down at the test packet’s label and saw it was the Georgia Math 2 EOCT. This was strange, Don remembered the EOCT as being a computerized test. The author must have thought a paper test would be more dramatic somehow.

“Begin!” Wesley cried. Don tore open the booklet and turned to page one. The first problem seemed to be about new data’s effect on the standard deviation and mean. Don answered this in seconds, pumping his fist and exclaiming “radical!” to celebrate his success. The next question wanted the length of an unknown side of a right triangle. Don used his memorized knowledge of cosine values to answer this question in no time.

Don and the man were both writing extremely fast; at one point their pencils gave into the friction and caught fire. This led to a stadium evacuation, but the mathematicians returned to their work after a short 8-hour fire danger. Don finally finished the test, at exactly the same time the man did his. Wesley took up the papers and stared at them, using his godly powers to grade the papers in mere seconds.

“The results are in.” Wesley said. “This weird scary guy’s grade is… 99.978%.” This caused uproarious applause from a single person – the scary man. No one in the crowd clapped for him because his is the antagonist and he doesn’t get applause.

“Don’s grade is….” Wesley began, when suddenly Don woke up to find himself in math class.

“Don, you made a 100 on your last math test,” said Don’s math teacher as she laid a paper on Don’s desk. Don looked at his teacher’s face and could have sworn he saw an elephant’s.

“I need to get more sleep,” Don muttered. “Logarithms.”

[Colt 555]

Fun and cool I like it, yea Im a math fan so was very fun to read.

 

Just a simple tip you can use asymptote as a great way to say tough things like.

 

"God you are like an asymptote to inteligence"

 

or

 

"Forget about her dude she is like your asymptote it doesn’t matter how close you are to her you will never touch her"

 

Just saying

Edited December 11, 2012 by Colt