The Pony with the Boom (Rainbow Dash fanfic)

[Dashabel 381]

So this is a story I was inspired to write after falling in love with Rainbow Dash so much. :'D

It is a work in progress but please let me know if it's good, how I could improve. I'd love it you guys did that for me. Thanks

 

 

''Rainbow Daaash!!'' Came the anguished yell of Applejack as I soared into the sky. Halting, I turned to see I'd clumsily knocked over AJ's apple stall.

''Hehe.. um, oops...'' I muttered nervously. Sensing that would not calm Applejack's fury, I fluttered down and landed softly on the ground, scuffing it a little. Applejack looked me intensely in the eye.

''Oops? Yer just knocked over all ma freshly picked prize apples and all yer have to say is 'oops'?'' AJ's frown told me she was not pleased.

''Err, yeah, sorry bout' that AJ. Guess I didn't see you there.'' I apologised, but AJ was bound to be upset. Apples were her life, her business. I couldn't just get off this lightly. ''How bout' I pick some more for you?'' I jumped at the chance for meer forgiveness.

''Hmm... better be quick, Rainbow, I'm expectin' ter sell these beauties by this afternoon!'' AJ had an amused smile now, which, although was better than her frown, showed her doubt in my task.

''C'mon AJ, you know me! I'll get those apples in - ''

''Lemme' guess, 10 seconds flat?'' AJ mocked.

''Eeyup! You know me!'' I laughed. Without any hesitation, I whizzed into the apple orchards and manoevered through the trees, picking up the reddest, biggest, most delicious looking apples I could see. As AJ had correctly assumed (but as I knew), I returned within 10 seconds with a wingful of rosy apples.

''Not bayud, sister!'' Applejack said, nodding and looking at the apples with temptation. As AJ held the basket beneath me, I poured the apples into it. AJ looked thankful, and satisfied with the fresh batch.

''Well, who ever doubted me?'' I joked. But really I knew it was true; just you didn't show it front of AJ, who, as I've learnt, likes a bitta 'competition, just like myself. ''I gotta be off now, AJ, got some tricks to practise!''

''Bye Rainbow, and good luck with yer sonic rainboom thingy-ma-jiggy!'' Called AJ behind me. I smirked to myself. AJ was the bestest friend. No-pony could ever replace her.

''Thanks! And bye!!'' I laughed back, and before you could say 'chimmy cherry cherry chonga', I was off into the sky and towards Cloudsdale practise arena.

 

Pegasi everywhere, dancing, flipping, speeding through the clouds high above the arena, but I knew they'd all be stoppin' and starin' when I stut my stuff. But first, a great athlete must do her great warm-up. Trotting over to the startline of the racetrack, I flapped my wings: faster, faster, faster than lightning - and I was off. Well, I was hoping for exactly 10 seconds minimum, but I guess 6.2 seconds will do! Gosh, I do flatter myself. As I screeched to a stop, I scanned the arena and saw that every single pony had dropped their things - and their jaws - and stared in astonishment with their eyes wide.

''Hehe...'' I smiled nervously and stepped back out of the limelight. I spun around, only to bump into a small crowd of ponies, who's heads eagily dodged about to get a good view. I tilted my head, and emerged from the crowd to see a, well, I wasn't exactly sure what it was. A bright, blue blurr that darted about in the sky, so fast it made your head spin round as your eyes followed it's twists and turns. I was so wrapped up in the amazing agility that I didn't realise a pegasus stand beside me and say,

''He's impressive, isn't he?'' She grinned at me, but it didn't take long to glue her eyes back to the magnificent stunt.

''He?'' I asked, puzzled. Whilst I was curious and looked at the pony for answers, I couldn't help my eyes switching back to the flashing blue above me.

''Sonic Boom, of course!'' She laughed, as though what I asked was a joke.

''But... who's Sonic... Boom?'' Just as the words rolled of my tongue, the blue, or should I say 'Sonic Boom' slowed the pace and landed on the ground right before my very eyes. A triumphant expression dominated his face, and the ponies were cheering towards him. He was... no, my head was telling lies to me, but... he was pretty handsome! His big, friendly eyes sparkled as he turned and waved to his 'fans'. Slapping myself out of admiration, that was when I realised their jaws hadn't dropped at the sight of me, but at Sonic Boom. A short wave of jealousy came over me; I couldn't let this put me down. Not being able to stand it anymore, I turned and headed to the tea-rooms to cool down.

 

Sipping my hot chocolate, I leaned miserably on one hoof, thoughts swimming in my head. Who exactly was this oh-so-special Sonic Boom? So special that he had to... out do Rainbow Dash... the greatest flyer in all of Equestria? Hmph. He must think not. He's just tryna' steal my dreams. Well, I won't let him. But what worried me most of all, was my slight admiration for the talented flyer. Slamming down my glass after the last mouthful, I said my thanks to Hot Choc, the waitress, and began to make my way back down to Ponyville. Just as I was about to exit and fly down, a hoof stopped me in my travels. Surprised, I looked up to see it was Sonic Boom. Taken aback, I stepped away but couldn't help notice his kind expression this time. So, I stayed to see what was bothering him.

''Uhh.. can I help you?'' I cleared my throat. Glad that I responded, Sonic Boom smiled.

''You must be Rainbow Dash. I've heard a lot about you.'' By this time I wasn't sure whether his smile was still friendly or just plain rude and sarcastic. He probably did think he was better than me.

''Um, yeah... have you?'' I laughed nervously.

''That's awesome! I just wanted to say that I'm one of your biggest fans!'' I was surprised by this. He was now jumping around like an excited colt. ''I saw you back on the racetrack and I was tryna' edge away from those pesky ponies and say hi to you! But you left before I got the chance!'' He went on.

''Oh, err, really?'' I said, feeling my cheeks blush a little. ''Then why did you look so stuck-up on in front off all those ponies?'' I was confused. He did look like a right show-off, but he didn't act like one now.

''Well, you gotta put on the act, haven't you?'' He laughed, but saw I was not amused, and grinned sheepishly. It was somewhat sweet - however I interupted my thoughts then and scowled myself for thinking of such outrageous words. Sweet? I am Rainbow Dash, remember? By now my face had shone far more pink than usual, and I decided to depart before I really embaressed myself.

''Ahaha... of course!'' I faked. ''Well, I, err, better be going! Ya'know, gotta practise those, umm, 'super speed struts'!'' Without any further ado I took a few steps back, and then excused myself by shooting up into the sky and out of sight. I felt my cheeks burn off a little, but the feeling of Sonic staring after me was still over-whelming; I dashed out of sight and down to Ponyville, to meet Applejack at her apple stall.

 

''Howdy, Rainbow!'' AJ greeted me cheerfully. It was quite busy in Ponyville market today, and I could hardly fly down next to her. Pinkie Pie was there to, stirring a huge bowl of green, apple-scented icing. I shouldn't have even bothered trying to reply before Pinkie hadn't had her say:

''Rainbow Dash!! I am so so soooo glad to see you on this fine afternoon! I'm helping AJ sell apples! It sounded like so much fun! - Ooh, maybe you should help to - that is if you can get down! Gosh, it's rather busy isn't it? Here, let me give you a hoof - '' With no hesitation Pinkie Pie grabbed my hoof and pulled me down to the ground.

'Whoa! Pinkie! Watch it!'' I screamed as I plummeted into... Pinkie's mixing bowl. When I looked up, AJ couldn't help but to giggle a little, and well, Pinkie was almost crying with laughter. I sat up to see I'd splashed it all over me, them, everywhere. Then I began to laugh it off, and I shook myself clean.

''Sooo... how'd training go today?'' Asked Applejack curiously.

''Twas' okay,'' I remarked, reaching for the apron that lay under AJ's counter.

''Okay? Are you sure? You're usually a little more enthusiastic about it than that...'' AJ questioned. I saw that she was puzzled, and that I shouldn't have answered in that way, as it only made the matter I was trying to forget even harder.

''Umm, sorry, in a total world of my own!'' I grinned sheepishly. ''I'll, err, wash those apples over there!'' I pointed to a whole bucket of fresh, unattended apples. AJ wouldn't notice my feebleness, after all, she was Ponyville's worst liar herself.

''If you say so.'' She said, and quickly got back to work as an impatient customer raised his hoof for service. I trotted over to the tub of apples and washed each one carefully till they shined. These actions became more of a trance to me as my real self was locked away deep inside me, and all I could think of was Sonic Boom. Thoughts jerked inside my head: was I jealous, was he jealous? Did I like him, did he like me? As much as I wished these thoughts to be just tricks in my head, my heart was trying to tell me part of it was real. I denied it, I despised it... but I could not stop this heartfelt decision that, the more I thought about it, the more it raged inside of me. I liked Sonic Boom.

''Rainbow Dash??'' Came a high-pitched noise in the side of my ear. I squinted and shook my head, letting loose those thoughts, letting them drift off somewhere else till they came back to taunt me, let's say, when I lay in bed, guilt-ridden and sleepless as ever. Pinkie Pie grinned right at me.

''Huh?'' I snapped once more out of my doziness. I scratched my head and ruffled my mane, feeling like I'd just woken up.

"You look kinda busy but, umm, you've been polishing the same apple for ages...." Pinkie Pie edged out the side of her mouth, finished with another large grin to soften the complaint.

"Oh, err, sorry about that... It's just this one was really dirty!" I blurted out. I held up the apple and it gleamed in the sunlight.

"Well, it looks pretty clean now. Would you like me to... Take that?" Her smile was fading now, and I knew I must be acting really stranglely to drain even Pinkie's hyper attitude.

"Umm, yeah, you should...." I muttered, shoving the apple into Pinkie's hooves awkwardly and plonking myself on the ground, staring into space. They're gonna ask me what's wrong any second. And I'm a darn featherbrain to even let this get to me. "Sorry Applejack, I'm just feeling a bit woozy, please excuse me." Before either of them had a chance to reply, I had threw down my apron and cantered off and up onto a private cloud of my own. There I lay, burying my face in the fluffy white pillows, those thoughts came flooding back to me as soon as I could control it no longer. I knew my friends would realise something was up with me - it s making me act so strangely. I'm turning into an emotional wreck, for pony's sake! I'm outraged with myself. How could I let this happen? How could I stop it? The problem was.... I don't think I ever can. My emotions were all over the place. I felt suddenly so alone in the situation because there was no way I could ever tell my friends about my certain liking towards Sonic Boom. I'd never be the same again. I wanted to tell myself that I can't help how I feel, but in my mind, I was so confused as to how this had actually changed me. Drowned in unanswerable questions, swimming worries and unearthly doubts, I slowly fell asleep on the cloud's cosy cushions.

 

The morning air was sweet, crisp, fresh with the scent of young dew and the spring buds - I felt my head cleared thoroughly, and I was able to breath without a shiver of unease. Shaking my sleep off, I flew down from the cloud and landed softly, greeted by the cheery residents of Ponyville.

Edited February 8, 2013 by (\ScootaDash/)

[~Cider Barrel~ 125]

faster, faster, faster than lighting

 

 

 

Sorry i hate myself for correcting that's all i could find.

 

 

I liked this little fan fiction i have an over active Imagination as it is so it was nice to "read" instead of watch for once, I think i will be exploring this section more Regularly. 

 

Good Job

Edited December 14, 2012 by Cider Barrel

[Dashabel 381]

Sorry i hate myself for correcting that's all i could find.

 

 

I liked this little fan fiction i have an over active Imagination as it is so it was nice to "read" instead of watch for once, I think i will be exploring this section more Regularly. 

 

Good Job

Thank you! I like fan fictions to, but not dirty ones -.-

Anyway, that mistake.. um, this is awkward but.. it's meant to be like that. It's like alliteration I guess. I hadn't repeated the the words twice by accident.. hehe.

 

EDIT: I love your username btw!

Edited December 14, 2012 by Appledashforever

[~Cider Barrel~ 125]

lighting

 

Faster then

 

 

I just thought i it was "Faster then Lightning"

 

You speak of dirty ones? Surely not this is a more or less a kids show, 

[Dashabel 381]

Faster then

 

 

I just thought i it was "Faster then Lightning"

 

You speak of dirty ones? Surely not this is a more or less a kids show, 

Omgosh! I'm so sorry! Now that is awkward!! *embarressiiiiing...* Easily done, I guess.

 

And, um, you don't wanna know. I thought so to, but I recently read a rather disturbing story about AJ and RD... all this ''AppleDash stuff. See this post and you'll understand: http://mlpforums.com/topic/42091-appledash-more-than-i-thought/ I can't explain it all.

 

And hey, lighting can be fast... right? Lol. I really do apologise. I made myself look soooo dumb. xD

[Swick (ded) 436]

I'm not the best author myself, but I see quite a few spelling mistakes and incorrect grammar here. Capitalization problems I think I saw a few times, too. Also, a few of the ponies' personalities are a bit off.    

 

''Dash!! I am so so soooo glad to see you on this fine afternoon! I'm helping AJ sell apples! Maybe you should help to - oh, that is if you can get down! Gosh, it's rather busy isn't it? Here, let me give you a hoof - ''

 

Might be:

 

    ''Rainbow Dash!! I am so so SO happy you're here! Applejack asked me to help sell apples, and it sounded like SO much fun, I said yes! Hey, you should help too, but can you land here? The shop's a bit crowded, it's super duper busy today! Here, let me help you out- ''

 

I didn't completely nail her personality, but I'm just trying to point you in the right direction. Other than those things, it was pretty good. Hoping to see improvements next time!

EDIT: Also, a friend of mine told me not to use too many commas in Pinkie's dialouge, even if it's grammatically incorrect. It gives the impression of Pinkie's lightning fast way of speech.

Edited December 15, 2012 by Swick

[Dashabel 381]

Thank you for your input!

I have just re-read it completely and I have seem quite a lot of errors and parts that don't quite fit. Don't worry, I'm a perfectionist - I'd never leave these in for long. I did have a few attempts had writing Pinkie, I'll admit!

I'm just not ever so keen on using capital letters in writing. I dunno why. Maybe if it's just shouting. But anyway, thankyou

Edited December 15, 2012 by Appledashforever