I Need More Proof-Readers

[FoxyCryptid 4,330]

I need more proof-readers on my Highlander crossover, I'm 1,000 words into the re-write of my first chapter, and need as many people as they can to leave comments, and continue to leave then as a I add to it.

 

Summary:

 

"Immortals, men and women who live for hundreds, even thousands of years. They have lived among us since the birth of mankind, hiding in the shadows. Some of them cut a path of destruction through the centuries to satisfy their own selfish greed, and see mortals as mere play things, but others act as heroes, using their gift to protect mankind. There is one thing that binds all immortals, both good and evil, there is a creed that holds for all of them:

 

There can be only one.

When one immortal challenges another, they fight to the death. The winner takes the losers head, and their strength and knowledge with it. There is one rule immortals must follow, inside or outside of these duels, they cannot kill on holy ground.  

 

One of these heroes is Duncan MacLeod, a warrior born over 400 years ago in the Scottish Highlands. For centuries he has stood a silent protector  facing evil immortals and protecting the human race. He has fought with freedom fighters to over-throw dictators, led oppressed peoples to freedom, and even lead slaves on the underground rail-road.

 

Now, an evil from another world sets her sights on him. "

 

The Doc:

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1v8NgjzzI3m4N3iVSxJU1DaKL4k4krixeII_DS-pib1Q/edit

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,354]

Hmm, the premise is intriguing. Is Crysalis gonna join the Game?

 

But you are restricting yourself with the setting. Why not have Chrysalis arrive during Methos wild years? Her being drawn by the reputation of the Horsemen would make more sense than just stumbling on history's greatest hide and seek master.

 

Also no offense to Duncan and co, but an even remotely powered up Crysalis could take them out in two seconds tops.

Edited December 22, 2012 by Silverwisp the Bard