The guide to being always right

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

I have decided that it is unfair that I am the only forumite who is always right, so I decided to make a comprehensive guide to always being right, in the hopes that we can all always be right. (Or at the very least, always believe we're right)

 

 

1.) Use inconsistent bases for your logic

 

If you use inconsistent bases, then your argument is always valid. That is, as long as we're referring to classic logic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logic

 

Wherein, if you don't use consistent bases in your argument, you cannot be disproven.

 

Example:

 

Birth control is bad.

 

Birth control is good.

 

I am the undisputed ruler of the universe.

 

 

Because the bases (Birth control is bad, and birth control is good, respectively) you cannot disprove me if you follow the word by word definition of a valid argument. No matter how many times you are told you're wrong, insist you're right. Better yet, insist the neigh sayer that they are "Afraid of the truth".

 

2.) Never try to disprove your opponent

 

In an argument, never try to directly disprove your opponent. But you should try your best to use as many smiley faces as you can. That way it looks like you have some huge secret that no one but you knows, it will unnerve your opponent. Or at the very least, make you cry a little bit less.

 

3.) Make up facts (That sound accurate)

 

In an argument, your opponent will probably be so mad that they will never check for the accuracy of things you say, because they will be too busy trying to prove their own argument. So you should make up facts that sound accurate but aren't. This way, people will believe your lies. You know how the saying goes, "If people are told a lie enough times, it becomes the truth".

 

The longer you've been lying, the more ridiculous you're made up facts can be, because people will trust you. Eventually you can completely make up even the topic the lies are about, a good example of this is Fox News.

 

Good Example: 40% of all blind people have alcoholism

 

Bad Example: Unicorn production in Atlantis is up 15% from last year.

 

4.) Declare everything a "War"

 

Never use petty words like argument. Opponent says school is bad? Claim they are waging a war on education, opponent says that vegetables are good for you? Say they are waging a war on protein!

This way, people are likely to side with you, because you make it sound like you're being attacked. So naturally, people rush to defend you.

 

 

_____________________

 

Follow these steps in and no time you too can be a Republican always right. 

Edited February 21, 2013 by Harmonic Revelations

[Champion RD92 8,658]

I like how you copied LRP's thread.

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

I like how you copied LRP's thread.

I like how you don't read the actual points and assume they're the same thing.

[Champion RD92 8,658]

I like how you don't read the actual points and assume they're the same thing.

 

I know the points aren't the same thing, but the concept is similar.

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

I know the points aren't the same thing, but the concept is similar.

If that was frowned upon the Twilicorn section wouldn't exist.

[Betez 1,734]

4. Don't read posts that are longer than one paragraph

[duidamasterXD 9,627]

If that was frowned upon the Twilicorn section wouldn't exist.

True dat. You forgot to include a section about agreeing with DashForever. That's usually a good guide to being right .

 

Not sure if that part about excessive smilies is directed at me...

[NavelColt 22,881]

5: Evolve into a mod and ban people who disagree with you. No opposition = must be right.

[Betez 1,734]

6. Evolve into an Admin because nobody can have Admin Disputes in a ticket.

 

 

 

seriously, what if you're being harassed by an Admin? Are you just fucked then?

 

 

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

But I am always right. I don't need a guide.

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

5: Evolve into a mod and ban people who disagree with you. No opposition = must be right.

 

What level do you have to reach before you evolve into a moderator? Like, level 35 or so, right?

[NavelColt 22,881]

What level do you have to reach before you evolve into a moderator? Like, level 35 or so, right?

 

9000.

[Fluttermena 1,223]

 

Do you know why I'm always right? Because whenever I get proven wrong, I just change my opinion and voila: I'm right again!