Home- Applejack rap song

[Soultensionb 18]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy20zHR15Y4

 

 

Worked on an applejack rap song this week

 

 

 

way back in the streets of manehatten
where the mane flattened and the elites became splatters
on my brain patterns, fixin to change me, what matters
and the lame gnats, braggin a game to get flatterd

and i, think back to my past on the farm
now im passin a yarn, its the tale of my aunt
and my uncle both oranges lovin the big city
and shovin every manor on me, call it civility

take a swig of humility, wont you
like my apple cider its hard, but wont harm you
instead of thinking you own the stars, taunting
why dont you put down the facade its haunting

its not that hard on the farm, we all get along
better than the phonies in the city,with its ghetto charm
every time i come back, im feeling out of place
almost alone, but almost better than the open space


Chorus: call your phone i hate to leave you on your own

Verse 2 : In the big city when i was a little kid
I was just a filly learning how to live
I spoke my mind to find a true purpose in time i found it wasn't really worth it
my muddy apple farm was apart of my heart
this sophisticated life was doomed from the start
these ponies be pessimistic
when the country girl living
unforgiving
strike us down and make bad decisions
i found out the spotlight was blinding
i found out that this life was lying
my heart cried for me to go home
iv wanted to go to the places iv known
i don't wanna be a somepony if this is what it is
i don't want to be lonely if this is what i miss
i know wha i am and i know what i found
im Applejack im apart of the background


Chorus: Simple that i know in the apartments down below busy with staring roles in their own tragedies


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[MaudlinBrony 8]

Really good man, I liked the chorus, and the two verses. Rhymes were solid, Rhythm was tight, beats were good, but I think you need to work on the clarity in the opening verse, I wouldn't have known what you were saying if I didn't have the lyrics in front of me. 

[Soultensionb 18]

Hey thanks for the feedback man uhhh yeah my friend malevo did have a weird kind of verse but i liked it so its like on beat or chillish hiphop 

[Mutemutt 773]

An Applejack rap song? You know I had to stop by to listen to this. And I gotta say ... I really like it. It's got that chill hip hop feel to it and that's always a plus in my book. The way the songs just plays itself out after the halfway point is just perfect. And of course the lyrics are really good; meaningful and with a nice flow for the most part. Though I find it a bit odd that the first verse starts instantly; not really a big deal though.

 

I wasn't expecting a sample from Listening for the Weather but it goes well with the song. Really well.

 

Welcome to my playlist 

[MaudlinBrony 8]

An Applejack rap song? You know I had to stop by to listen to this. And I gotta say ... I really like it. It's got that chill hip hop feel to it and that's always a plus in my book. The way the songs just plays itself out after the halfway point is just perfect. And of course the lyrics are really good; meaningful and with a nice flow for the most part. Though I find it a bit odd that the first verse starts instantly; not really a big deal though.

 

I wasn't expecting a sample from Listening for the Weather but it goes well with the song. Really well.

 

Welcome to my playlist 

Yeah man, cota's right, everything flows well with this one. The way the two choruses  fit in with the song is sick, I feel like another verse would really flesh the story out, cause it feels like this song's got more to say, you know?

[Soultensionb 18]

An Applejack rap song? You know I had to stop by to listen to this. And I gotta say ... I really like it. It's got that chill hip hop feel to it and that's always a plus in my book. The way the songs just plays itself out after the halfway point is just perfect. And of course the lyrics are really good; meaningful and with a nice flow for the most part. Though I find it a bit odd that the first verse starts instantly; not really a big deal though.

 

I wasn't expecting a sample from Listening for the Weather but it goes well with the song. Really well.

 

Welcome to my playlist 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fangasm, thanks man that feedback made my night, are you a musician to by chance? i love to give listens lol

 

Yeah man, cota's right, everything flows well with this one. The way the two choruses  fit in with the song is sick, I feel like another verse would really flesh the story out, cause it feels like this song's got more to say, you know?

THEN THERw SHALL BE A Sequel song lol  but i gotta figure out what the emotions and topic of that song could be for me its gotta be deeper than coming back home.

[Mutemutt 773]

Yeah man, cota's right, everything flows well with this one. The way the two choruses  fit in with the song is sick, I feel like another verse would really flesh the story out, cause it feels like this song's got more to say, you know?

 

Yeah I see what you mean. Maybe a third verse right after the chorus in the middle would round the song out more. But I really like the build up for the ending with "Simple that i know in the apartments down below busy with staring roles in their own tragedies", it really captures the feel of the song and they way it starts out all blurry, steadily becoming clearer is symbolic and I definitely wouldn't change that.

 

Plus I like that the final statement of the final verse is " i know wha i am and i know what i found

im Applejack im apart of the background". The whole background pony thing was always how people poked fun at how little AJ seemed to matter and yet here it "the background" means so much more. This line just has a feel of finality, you know? At the beginning they way to be more than a background character and at the end they realize just how important that background really meant to them. It just feels like a proper end, lyric wise.

 

 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fangasm, thanks man that feedback made my night, are you a musician to by chance? i love to give listens lol

 

THEN THERw SHALL BE A Sequel song lol  but i gotta figure out what the emotions and topic of that song could be for me its gotta be deeper than coming back home.

 

Well, I play the alto sax and I'm learning the violin but I'm afraid as it goes for now. I don't have any experience writing or producing songs; I just play'em for the most part. 

Edited March 11, 2013 by Cota